Coming Soon: Day 1 - 15/09/2015

Hello Everyone,

My name is Adam, I am 22 years old and have been smoking 10 cigarettes a day for about 6 years.

I have tried to quit many times before, with varying degrees of success, but have decided that this will be the last day I smoke, no matter what.

I have joined the forum so that I can share my experience, get support along my journey and so that I can revisit what I have written in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

I remember the first time I ever tried a cigarette, as many of you do.

I was only around 12 or 13 years old.

It was in the garden of an old flat I used to live in with my mum and brother.

My mum had asked me to get her one from her handbag and I decided to light it for her whilst out of sight, so I took a puff whilst holding the lighter up to it.

It tasted disgusting!

This is a key thing I remember, why then can it taste so horrid, yet now I seem to think it is so 'nice'?

My mum had smoked around 20 cigarettes a day for many years.

I remember she told me she was about 19 years old when she began smoking.

She too had tried to quit many times before.

My mum died in hospital on the 26th December 2011 at around 10:30pm, from two consecutive heart attacks.

I was not there to see her leave this world, this was my naive decision, I regret it to this day.

She was diagnosed with Sarcoma cancer around two years prior to her death, this cancer travels in the bloodstream.

It attached to her lungs, which were weak from smoking and covered the vast majority of both lungs.

I remember she could not walk more than 50 feet without being out of breath.

My mum was my absolute world.

Most people would think this would stop you from smoking, for fear of the same fate, but if anything it had the opposite effect.

Whilst it attached to her lungs, the cause of the cancer was not directly related to smoking, so I rebelled and smoked more, using it as a coping mechanism.

It was during the two years that my mum battled her cancer that I began to even consider quitting, before that I had no such inclination.

Since then, in a similar way to my mum battling her cancer, I have been battling to quit smoking.

I am able to go cold turkey for a number of days, even months, before forgetting the reasons that I quit and give into a craving.

I am fed up of this cycle!

I have thought many times before about why people quit and what drives them to succeed.

Before I was not sure of my answer to this question, now I am.

For me, it is not about the money, it is not about being hooked, it is not about not stinking of smoke, it is not even about my health, my fitness or my future.

For me, it is for my mum, it is to make her proud to see who I can become, it is to give her grandchildren and a successful son.

It is so that I can be sure that when she looks down on me, that I see the huge smile I know she has, that she knows exactly what I have overcome and that I can be a free man again.

I will begin a huge battle tomorrow, a battle against my laziness, a battle against my motivation, my angst and frustration.

For her, I will win.

9 Replies

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  • Buddy welcome to our little club, I'm quitting tomorrow as well and a few others...best luck to you and keep posting every day so we know how you are doing. Xxx

  • Thanks. Good luck to you too. I will be sure to post every day.

  • K, good luck, glad to know some young people know just how silly this smoking thing is. I wish I had the knowledge and will power that you have when I was your age. I'll be looking forward to your updates.

  • K welcome and good luck...You seems to be a very wise young man and my wish is the same as Canwes...But I was led by stupidity and was enslaved for 38 years...

    Be strong in your quit and I can promise ...It is great to be smoke free....:cool:

  • Adam, how is it going? Keep posting... Everytime you need a cigarette postpone it for a few minutes and post here first..by the end of the post your craving will be gone, good luck buddy!!!! I'm right beside you if you need me

  • Thanks everyone for your support.

    I had a cigarette soon after submitting the first post, but then I threw them away, so I actually started my quit last night in a way.

    I was craving after dinner last night, but I didn't give in to that one, it passed quickly and my body wasn't giving me too much hassle as it hadn't been that long.

    This morning has been fine, few on and off thoughts about smoking during morning routine but not really any cravings so far.

    Happily plodding along the work day.

    Just tucking into lunch at the minute, will re-update tonight.

  • Will keep this update brief as cooking dinner.

    Day 1 nearly over. Small cravings. No defeat.

  • HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!!!!

  • Day 1 is as good as done.

    To sum up:

    Bit of a weird day, been busy at work and have been in many moods through the day.

    Craving a little but not enough to think about buying any.

    Stomach hurting, (I have IBS) so putting me down a bit.

    But happy that today is out the way and looking forward to tomorrow very much.

    Going to the next forum - Day 2!

    See you there! :) x

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