Little Set Backs

On Thursday I will be 10 months from my quit date. Almost 1 full year! I can’t even believe it. It’s surreal! Over the summer there were two occasions that I smoked a cigg or two (A wedding and a bachelorette party) It wasn’t bad. I was able to take a drag or two.. enjoy it or cough in disgust. But I always woke up knowing that I don’t want to be a smoker anymore and I was totally ok with keeping on my journey to be a non-smoker for many years to come.. but then the past two weekends I smoked with a smoker friend. Two Sundays ago I had (3) and this past Sunday I had (2). It was my ultimate goal.. to be able to have a smoke or two with drinks every once in a while. I didn’t buy the smokes. I don’t carry any on me. I smoke a few with a friend and then I’m done. I don’t crave them later that night. I don’t want a pack in the morning. I’m ok. I’m good…. But the reason I’m here is because I’m scared if I continue on this pattern I might eventually fall off the wagon and I DO NOT want that. Has anyone else indulged in their dirty little habit from time to time???

Quit on Nov 11th 2013 - Used E-Cigg for two weeks then cold turkey.

Almost 10 months from my quit date!

20 Replies

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  • Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But in my opinion, sorry to say but if you smoke then you have not quit.

    I do hope you can get back on track, with your quit.:):)

  • You are right.. and I thought about it too.. Should I go back to day 1.. but would that be fair to everyone struggling with day 1 because I am not struggling.. I beat the addiction. I am no longer addicted to nicotine. I can go weeks and months without a smoke and for the most part, be totally ok with it. After 20yrs of smoking!!

    I ask myself why, why do I give in to my urges when I’m with a smoker friend (I don’t have many smoker friends and I’m not in the situation to smoke often nor do I have the urge every time I’m around with a smoker) The only reason I can think of to justify my action is because when I quit I told myself when I was ready, when I was no longer addicted, that I was allowed to be a casual ‘I only smoke when I drink’ kind of smoker. To me that’s heaven!! I don’t drink often.. only a few times a year, so it’s just indulging in my dirty habit from time to time without letting it get it’s hooks in me. If I can control it, it would be my ultimate goal. I didn’t quit smoking because I didn’t like smoking… I quit for my health and because I didn’t like being an addict to nicotine.

    Options much appreciated!! Constructive critism is welcome as well.

  • Hiya, had you of just had a few puffs I would be inclined to say carry on but because from your post it looks like it's getting more frequent I would be inclined to start the quit again, that said if you want to be a casual smoker there's nothing wrong in that if it works for you but as others have said there's no point counting the days you haven't smoked because if that's the case I would have given up for about 4 years with a couple of blips in the middle :D

    Fairplay to you for owning up though, you didn't need to and I am not knocking you in any way, but as TG said you need to decide whether you want to be a non smoker or a casual smoker and go from there, good luck xxx

  • Hi, it must be lovely to only smoke on very rare occasions, for me it would not work, for definite it's all or nothing for me.

    I just hope it doesn't happen to often, you have a great length of quit under your belt.

    Not long to the penthouse :)

  • Nope

    You asked if anyone has "indulged" in this type of behavior. I have, twice. That's why I'm quitting now for the third time. Many of us follow the Not One Puff Ever mantra for a reason. For us, we know the slope is just too slippery. I hope you can handle it. Most of us can't.

  • Hey Heather, this is your game and you get to set the rules :)

    It sounds like you've reached a place where you've made peace with -- and are in control of -- your nicotine addiction, so don't feel the need to go back to a notional "day one" for our benefit.

    Don't be surprised, though, if the moral barometer in this forum sways towards the "Not One Puff Ever" end of the scale, because to say otherwise would be detrimental to newbies, strugglers, and the group as a whole.

    For what it's worth, I think you've done brilliantly...you're awesome.

    Best wishes,

    Steve

  • On Thursday I will be 10 months from my quit date. Almost 1 full year! I can’t even believe it. It’s surreal! Over the summer there were two occasions that I smoked a cigg or two (A wedding and a bachelorette party) It wasn’t bad. I was able to take a drag or two.. enjoy it or cough in disgust. But I always woke up knowing that I don’t want to be a smoker anymore and I was totally ok with keeping on my journey to be a non-smoker for many years to come.. but then the past two weekends I smoked with a smoker friend. Two Sundays ago I had (3) and this past Sunday I had (2). It was my ultimate goal.. to be able to have a smoke or two with drinks every once in a while. I didn’t buy the smokes. I don’t carry any on me. I smoke a few with a friend and then I’m done. I don’t crave them later that night. I don’t want a pack in the morning. I’m ok. I’m good…. But the reason I’m here is because I’m scared if I continue on this pattern I might eventually fall off the wagon and I DO NOT want that. Has anyone else indulged in their dirty little habit from time to time???

    Quit on Nov 11th 2013 - Used E-Cigg for two weeks then cold turkey.

    Almost 10 months from my quit date!

    Sorry to poop on your party but today is Thursday so it's four days since you last smoked, not ten months.

    You're well on the way down a very slippery slope, and you really are fooling no-one but yourself if you think it's OK to carry on like this. I truly hope you'll be able to post up on this forum in three months time that you are still three months and four days clean - but if were me, I would know without doubt that I had already well and truly blown it; don't shoot the messenger, that's just how addiction works:eek:

    Nicotine is not a 'dirty little habit'; it's one of the most addictive drugs there is, this is not like being on a diet and sneaking a chocolate bar when no-one is looking!!

  • The 'moral compass' as Steve calls it does indeed swing towards NOPE (Not One PUff Ever) because that is the right and just place to aim for-not for any moral reasons but because breaking this link COMPLETELY is the only assured way to succeed.If you try to make a deal with the Devil and just have a few here and there then you are still a smoker imho and such a smoker does not belong in the 'Penthouse'.

    Lol, I do the whole "quotation marks of condescension" thing too!

    I think we're basically on the same page. It's better to stop completely. Of course it is.

    On the other hand, you will agree it's way better to smoke 10 fags a year than 5000....

    And if those 10 mean Heather is barred from our little fictional club then perhaps that's a trade-off she is willing to "live with". It's HER quit, after all.

    :D

    Love you, Max mate.

    Steve NOPE

  • Lol, I do the whole "quotation marks of condescension" thing too!

    I think we're basically on the same page. It's better to stop completely. Of course it is.

    On the other hand, you will agree it's way better to smoke 10 fags a year than 5000....

    And if those 10 mean Heather is barred from our little fictional club then perhaps that's a trade-off she is willing to "live with". It's HER quit, after all.

    :D

    Love you, Max mate.

    Steve NOPE

    Trouble is though "Steve", 10 fags a year inevitably becomes 10 fags a month, 10 fags a week, 10 fags a day - it's a well trodden path that most of us have been down and frankly I'm staggered that you appear to condone it.

    What you refer to as HER quit appears to be anything but - I don't know of a single casual smoker on this forum; if there is some mythical elite who are immune from the addictive properties of nicotine then they certainly aren't on the forum - we are all here because we were under the spell hook, line & sinker:eek:

    Non smokers don't sneak a few cigarettes at the weekend - why on earth would they want to in the first place:confused:

  • Nope

    Hi Heather, I am going to be honest with you like others have said, you cannot be a quitter if you are having drags in between it doesn't work if your going to quit then do it from the beginning. On many occasions when i attempted to quit and got to 3 months had a fag and started again.

    And as max says you cannot get to the penthouse if your having a puff, it doesn't look good for newbies.

    The whole idea of this forum is to help one another get through hard times by chatting to others getting advice and having a rant.

    I am pleased that you have been honest to admit you've had drags here and their. But it has to be NOPE.

    Quit: 7/9/13-7/9/14

    Jacqui

  • Trouble is though "Steve", 10 fags a year inevitably becomes 10 fags a month, 10 fags a week, 10 fags a day - it's a well trodden path that most of us have been down and frankly I'm staggered that you appear to condone it.

    What you refer to as HER quit appears to be anything but - I don't know of a single casual smoker on this forum; if there is some mythical elite who are immune from the addictive properties of nicotine then they certainly aren't on the forum - we are all here because we were under the spell hook, line & sinker:eek:

    Non smokers don't sneak a few cigarettes at the weekend - why on earth would they want to in the first place:confused:

    Not my place to condone or condemn it, "Egg". Or yours.

    You consistently offer awesome anecdotal advice, which a lot of folks appreciate...myself included.

    Like it or not, though, there are many thousands of "casual" smokers out there.

    I'm married to one. I'm the offspring of another.

    My wife smokes maybe 20 ciggies a year.

    This number has neither risen nor fallen in the last 15 years. She's not in the grip of a terrible addiction. She just has a couple of smokes once in a while.

    Everyone has their own experiences with this stuff. To suggest one puff leads to a neverending downward spiral of addiction is -- frankly -- lazy, inaccurate hyperbole. Be as staggered as you like, Egg, but open your eyes.

    It ain't true.

    And all this nonsense about "Sorry, but you have to go back to Day One"......

    Jeez.

    Instant response: "Sorry, but who are you to tell me what to do?"

    How does the judgemental attitude help anyone? Empathy wins every time.

    Sincerely,

    Steve

    PS Steve is actually my name, Lol.

  • little set backs

    hello Heather before I make comment, are you perhaps one of the many lady smokers whom I observed during my nicotine period who I described as puff and blow merchants i.e:- they didn't inhale, the cigarette was almost a fashion accessory?

    Michael a.k.a:- lefoy123

  • I completely agree with Max. You are one or the other, you can't change the definition because you don't like it.

    Smoking and then not smoking for a few days/weeks/months and then deciding to smoke again and then not smoking. The only time you can honestly say you have quit/stopped smoking is when you quit/stop, and stop means total, not partial.

    When you don't do it anymore.

  • Ok so here's what I think seeing as I have been mentioned ;) in my experience it HAS to be NOPE I have failed time and again by thinking "just the one is ok".

    With regards to Max's question to me its a difficult one because for 2 puffs the thought of going back to day 1 just filled me with dread and ultimately I failed and was smoking 20 a day up until I quit On 7th :eek: had I of been given a reprieve ;) I think I would be still quit now, but that's just my personal opinion.

    The difference with Heather is she has said openly that its becoming a more regular thing so I think she just needs to work out whether she is a casual smoker or a non smoker.

    Personally I don't think this thread will help her one bit as always with this type of thread its escalated into a debate lol, Poor Heather hasn't commented since 8th September....

    Might I suggest it just gets left now, I'm sure Heather was looking for support rather this xxx

  • I completely agree with Max. You are one or the other, you can't change the definition because you don't like it.

    Smoking and then not smoking for a few days/weeks/months and then deciding to smoke again and then not smoking. The only time you can honestly say you have quit/stopped smoking is when you quit/stop, and stop means total, not partial.

    When you don't do it anymore.

    This is pure semantics. And semantics aren't harmful to your health.

    Are you HONESTLY trying to say there is no difference between someone who smokes one cigarette a month and someone who smokes one thousand?

    Come on.

    If there's one thing I can't stand, it's self-righteousness.

    "You can't change the definition, blah blah..."? Jeez...get over yourself, honey ;)

    I haven't smoked a single drag since I quit. That's MY quit. Heather's had a few fags since she quit. That's HER quit.

    I can't really see the difference...we're both happier and healthier now than when we started.

  • Hi Heather, you are at the moment able to indulge in a smoke or two without any adverse affects but at the same time are scared that this could be the start of the slippery slope back into full time addiction. IMHO the very fact that you posted makes me think that you know that is likely to happen. There are so many members here who are back for the second, third or umpteenth time because they thought they could have the odd one or two that turned into one or two every hour. I do know two social smokers, both of whom have never smoked full time and I think that is where the difference lies, once addicted you either stop or you don't. You may be one of the "Lucky" ones who manages to, and I use the word loosely, enjoy an occasional smoke but I would be very wary, nicotine is one of the most addictive substances on earth and incredibly difficult to go without once you're in it's grip, that's why you came here in the first place, remember? And although you don't feel you should go back to day one each time you've smoked, the very fact that you called this thread "Little Set Backs" is enough to tell me that you're nowhere near as comfortable with social smoking as you'd like to believe.

  • Well, I think we all agree here that only smoking one cigarette a week is better than smoking 500 a week. But that's not the point really.

    What we're warning of, is the fact that it never stays at one. The OP has already said that extra "smoking days" are being added.

    Slippery slope.

  • Heather,

    Do let us know how the casual smoking thing is going.. not too well I fear:eek::eek:?

  • Interesting thread this! Completely agree that everyone's 'quit' is their own to manage as they want.

    For myself I know that if I had just one ciggie I would be back to having 15 the next day, however I had an aunt who smoked 30 a day, quit completely for a few years and then smoked a couple a month for the last 20 years of her life - some people can do it (and want to do it) and most of us can't.

    One of my sons smoked 20 a day, gave up totally for a year and since then (7 years ago) has smoked on two evenings a year (work events), he is fine with it, personally I can't really see the point, but he says it's like being a cigar smoker, just on special occasions and that he doesn't even think about it the next day. If it were me I would be waiting outside the newsagent the next morning!!!

  • I would be in the newsagent queue the next morning too superc. My only quit before this one failed because I decided to try social smoking, the fact was I just wasn't ready to give up then.

    Good luck Heather, whatever you decide to do :)

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