Back for a backside kicking

Hi Folks,

I quit with the help of this site 6/7 year ago, I can't actually remember. Recently after a stressful time (last summer) I have found myself having a cigarette with friends or when drinking and and more recently when sober. Last night I bought 10 and smoked 6 and had another one this morning. This has happened a few times over the past 2 months. I really don't want to start smoking full 'properly' again and really need a kick up the bum to tell me that I don't really need it, can't afford it and loved being a non-smoker and I am not actually missing out by not smoking.

I hope this doesn't worry anyone just setting out. I am just being a moron and I know it. Being smoke-free is amazing and I want to get back there.

Thanks to anyone who is reading.

Dx

7 Replies

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  • Hi Deb,

    Similar to me. I started again over Christmas, although I had only been off them for almost three months prior to that. If the thing that was causing you stress has gone I would just jump straight back on the wagon before you become "full time".

    You know what to expect as you have done it before so you'll be more prepared. A word of warning though - I've been cig-free for 9 days now and I'm finding it MUCH harder than I originally did. I don't know if it's because I had a brief taste of them over Christmas but it's definitely different.

    It will all be worth it in the end though, I'm sure you know that. You're not missing out on anything apart from bad health and being skint!

  • Hey Deb, welcome and well done for coming on here to share - it must have took alot of courage. You need to make that best decision of your life again and stop now and begin your new quit.

    You can do it and know what you have to do, wishing you every success, strength and focus. Stay close to the forum and post as often as you need to :)

  • Hi,

    I actually was able to " break" my brain. After quitting as half a year passed I tried to smoke and decided it would be interesting to taste what it would taste like after so long.

    I do like the smell of unlit cigarette or cigar but when I tried to smoke I almost vomited :D

    It doesn't sound that you are enjoying it as well. So good resuming the smoke free life :)

    By the way, concerning patches, were you still using them when you smoked or you used them for some time, finished the program and after some time smoked again?

  • Deb.....One thing we smokers who don't want to smoke anymore must be very aware of is complacency.... Our brains are rewired and it only takes one puff to have us smoking full time again.Please note that I don't call myself an ex smoker because I think it will take many years for me to be totally rid of this addiction. I am proud though that I could avoid smoking for 7 months and at this stage enjoying the smoke free life so much that I never want to smoke again. !!!

    I really hope you will get back to a smoke free life and surely you can because you have been there and done it !!!! Strongs !

  • Hi Folks,

    Thanks so much for your replies and support. Its nice to see the place hasn't changed in 6 years :)

    The problem I have is that I have started again to associate them with having a good time (night out etc) with my friends who do smoke and I feel a bit naughty having them. This morning a thought popped into my head - what happened to protecting your quit? Which made me come back here and try not to be ashamed. I need to remember I hate smoking, hated being a smoker and loved feeling free of it. It would be so easy to slip back into the full time habit like you guys say and I really don't want that. I need to be firm with myself instead of thinking I should have one cos I want one..........

    Nozmo thanks for the heads up, I will need to be determined and stick to it.

    CK, I used the patches for 3 months 6 years ago and not used anything like that since. I didn't smoke for almost 4 years then started having the odd one when drunk (3/4 times a year) for 2 years and then the past few months when sober and here I am. I don't want to use them as I don't having bad cravings, its more a mental thing at the moment.

    Thanks again everyone, I really do appreciate all of your help.

    Dx

  • Hey Deb, your head seems to be in the right place and you appear to be focused and determined, believe in yourself that you will succeed, look forward to seeing you the Day 1 room soon and reading your progress.....

  • You can get back on top of it, Deb! Owning up and talking about it's the best thing you could have done I reckon (so many of my quits failed because 'if I don't talk about it and no one really knows, then they don't count!' - yep, I've been a wally at times!) so pull up your big-girl pants and focus on loving the smokefree life! Good luck x

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