Im no longer paying to kill myself - Day 9

[nsd_user663_62465]

Would we hire a hitman to take a shot at us? No! Certainly not. So why would we actually pay for ourselves to prematurely pop our own clogs?

I cant imagine why I ever delved deep into the corners of the purse to get the last pound coin to afford the most expensive stupid disgusting smelly habit which did absolutely nothing for me. I can hear you all say you did the exact same thing be it scrambling around in the car saying to yourself, I must have a pound coin somewhere. How many of you loved paying for them? I hated it.

Dear Gad, how we were slaves to the Nicotine. I imagine the deathly grey clad hooded figure holding his scythe laughing through his gumless skull telepathically infusing his thoughts to my head, standing invisibly outside the tescos express window watching me dig into my coffers and willing me to get that last drag down into the depths of my alveoli to choke the breath out of me! I can hear the evil B*****d "one more day less to live until I get you in my hell hole".

Huh! D'ya think so Mr. Not this lady. Im clean, smell gorgeous, my purse has money in it and I WANNA LIVE. Poof. Just like the smoke disperses into the air, so does Deathly Evil Nico.

In my imaginative world, I lift my hand, and cheerily smile and wave at the git... and say "Bye then"

Have a nice day folks

Paula

Breathe free and stay safe

[nsd_user663_59644]

He doing very well indeed, so pleased to read such a positive post, :):)

Congratulations from me, doing great:cool:

[nsd_user663_62465]

Hi Helene.

Yep so far so good (re your previous post). I guess I'm just learning a few relaxing techniques and blogging and giggling to myself in the process of doing so, helps me through each day. No I'm not an author but my mother has always said I should've been. Now there's a thought. My mothers 70th birthday is in less than two years time. Very quietly I look over each shoulder and I look back at the screen Ive just typed on. I put my finger to lay on my lips "Shushhh" Hmmmm. That would be a very nice birthday present don't you think. Right I'm gonna look into it. Maybe even a year could do it.

I'm kind of creative in that respect and have a few coffee friends that have tried to get me to write childrens books when I've showed then my drafts. I've previously pencilled a few (one in particular about goblins) and one more recently about the adventures of a little lost glove (which I might add - I actually did lose a glove while out walking my wee doggy about 2 months back and the thought came into my head to write about it). I've just never looked at it seriously but now that you mention it, I think I will as what do I have to do with my fingers now? Smoke?? No wayyyyyy, Type, yes wayyyyy.

Well well well. A very nice inspirational comment can evolve new things. You cant fail if you don't try!

Thanks Helene

Nice that you are going on holiday. There is certainly always a plus to not smoking x

Laters

Paula

Breathe free and stay safe

[nsd_user663_62465]

Thanks folks, all your comments are so lovely. I'm so glad I've joined the forum. Its been great to know that I'm not in this by myself.

Cheers

Px

[nsd_user663_62463]

Hi Mrs. P

As always, your blogs flow like sweet music. You sure do have a talent for writing, dont waste it

Glad your quit is going good, lets keep kicking some Nico butt!

A

[nsd_user663_60964]

Tell you what, Paula, you have the perfect weapon there with your pen/key board. Any time Nic tries to get under your skin you can just write him out of your system.

Lovely post as always...

[nsd_user663_62294]

Well done on day 9 Paula, like others have said you should use your writing as a distraction, it's very good.

[nsd_user663_62355]

you go girl ....loving your attitude xx