First off a big thankyou to all the lovely people who helped me through yesterday - was feeling at the end of my rope and knowing that there are people to help got me through!!
It's a most odd feeling. I don't like smoking, I know that and understand that and know how p'ed off caving would make me feel - not least because chaining Marlboros is a b.loody expensive way to kill myself. It's just wanting to feel normal, but like Churchill said, when you're going through hell, keep going!! I will not allow myself to be defined by a smelly, disgusting habit.
Well today, I do feel better, still not exactly bouncy and know there'll be plenty more ups and downs along the way but definitely a lot stronger than yesterday - even if I am leaning a bit heavily on the NRT at the mo. :eek:
Am guessing it's hader this time round because I smoked a lot so it's going to take time to get over both the act of smoking and the addiction.
Still, I am not seeing smoking as a naughty, rebel thing to do as much as before - just rather stupid. That's progress 'cos it's always been one of my downfalls, and i got scared of being too much of a good girl, lol.
Right Day 9 - let's be having you and on to double figures tomorrow!!