Lost for words but.................

[nsd_user663_51263]

I am lost for words really.

Only a week into the latest of a long list of quit attempts and I'm back to square one with only myself to blame. I'm not sure which is the weakest - my heart or my head!

Despite all these failures I'm still desperate to overcome my smoking addiction, it's something I have to achieve no matter how long it takes me.

I have to admit that I like smoking even though I hate myself for doing it.

Anyway, that's enough of my indulging self pity - you must be sick to death of hearing it because I know I am.

To all the lovely people on here who have been so patient and supportive to me I just want to say "Sorry" and "Thankyou".

This is just the start of another Day 1 for me but this time I'm just going to try and get on with it quietly so I won't post for a while. There's nothing more I can say that I've haven't said a million times before. Actions do speak louder than words so it's up to me to prove that I've got what it takes, to myself and everyone else.

This forum and the people on here are brilliant and I'm so grateful for your help and encouragement.

I'll just lurk about in the background for the time being but I will be looking in and reading so I just want to send you all my best wishes.

Well it's time I got off here and got cracking again.

Hopefully I'll be back soon with something positive to say.

Linda x

[nsd_user663_52101]

Good luck Linda....I was exactly the same....you,ll just get sick of the stop/start and something will click....keep trying.

And don't be afraid to post we are all behind you

[nsd_user663_54332]

Hiya Linda, I'm really glad you're back on track!!

Don't feel bad about having a blip, most of us on here are on our umpteenth quit!! All we want is to help you beat this

Hi Linda,

I know you can do this and I wish you all the very best for your quit.

My only advice would be to carry on posting if you can. I found on previous quits I hid away and it just made it that much easier to sneak of and smoke. There is a large majority of people here who took numerous attempts to quit. Even the ones who are doing well now are returning relapsers so don't feel you are the only one.

Really good to see you back up and running

What Karri said.

It makes it a lot easier to fail if you're off here and know my last lapse was a lot shorter because of me staying on here, even as a smoker.

Seeing people quitting and being happy as non-smokers made all the difference

[nsd_user663_60964]

Linda, whether you're currently quit, aiming to quit or 'resting' between quits makes no difference to us. You're one of the family whatever your situation and I for one would miss you very much if you weren't around.

Do whatever feels best for you of course, and if it is easier for you to not post for a time that's OK, but please don't ever feel you have outstayed your welcome or have no business being here.

You will make it to the penthouse and that's a promise.

[nsd_user663_59644]

hay my lovely, this quitting malarkey is soooooo difficult at times, it seems deep down you wish to be a non smoker, but remember for some of us it does take several attempts be for we manage to quit for good.

I do wish you well, and do hope you can post, when your ready. We are all the same but also very different in so many ways, what ever you decide, we are all rooting for you my lovely

[AngryBear]

Linda I would advise the opposite, don't try and keep it to yourself, post constantly, it's the best NRT you'll get. Why try and go it alone, and cut your support off? Your decision of course, I just know what works for me.....

[nsd_user663_61320]

Linda

I spent weeks lurking mainly due to the number of failed attempts I had behind me.

Like you I felt like the boy who cried wolf, disappointed in myself and humiliated by all the work that other people (OH and family) had put in that was not enough to keep me quit.

That's the great thing about this forum though we are not talking to family or close friends and boring them. We are talking to people who are living quitting 24hours a day because that's the nature of the addiction.

Everytime we post to help somebody out we are helping ouselves out, we are explaining the addiction to ourselves and reiterating our reasons to quit. That's why we have a much better chance of quitting if we stay here.

You are not being a nuisance or a time waster by posting. You are actually helping others to work through their own addiction.

There are of course exceptions to this, the little band of saints who have beaten their own addiction and keep posting because they are modern day crusaders against an evil, evil drug.

I totally understand if you lurk awhile but come back soon and let us know how you're doing.

[nsd_user663_54332]

Linda

I spent weeks lurking mainly due to the number of failed attempts I had behind me.

Like you I felt like the boy who cried wolf, disappointed in myself and humiliated by all the work that other people (OH and family) had put in that was not enough to keep me quit.

That's the great thing about this forum though we are not talking to family or close friends and boring them. We are talking to people who are living quitting 24hours a day because that's the nature of the addiction.

Everytime we post to help somebody out we are helping ouselves out, we are explaining the addiction to ourselves and reiterating our reasons to quit. That's why we have a much better chance of quitting if we stay here.

You are not being a nuisance or a time waster by posting. You are actually helping others to work through their own addiction.

There are of course exceptions to this, the little band of saints who have beaten their own addiction and keep posting because they are modern day crusaders against an evil, evil drug.

I totally understand if you lurk awhile but come back soon and let us know how you're doing.

This forum needs a "like" button!!

[nsd_user663_51263]

Having a late lurk and have to say that I'm overwhelmed by all your replies so thank you one and all.

You have no idea how you have lifted my spirits with your support and kindness. It really does feel like we are all part of one big family.

I've already made a good start so I'm ready for No Smoking Day tomorrow.

Still attempting to go cold turkey but I've got the following on standby in case of emergencies:o:

1 About 3 packs of out of date NRT lozenges left over from previous quits

2 Allen Carr - must get round to reading him

3 An old e cig that's just been on charge.

4 An unopened pack of cigarettes on top of the mantlepiece??

I don't know if you'll all agree with the last one but my way of thinking is that if they are there then I won't be tempted to go out and buy them. I'm quite sure I'll be tempted to smoke them but I'm trying to prove to myself that I don't need them. This probably sounds as if I've gone completely round the bend but I think there might be some logic in my way of thinking and I've tried everything else so I'll give it a go.:confused:

My long suffering, non smoking husband knows they are there so will also know if I smoke them. He gave up trying to persuade me to give up years ago and thinks this attempt at quitting will end up like all my others. I'm desperate to prove him wrong though!

The e cig is also something that I've always been reluctant to use but my logic this time is that if I do feel myself really struggling then I'll give it a go. It really will be for emergencies only and anything's better than actually smoking.

I will definitely read Allen Carr but I think I'll give those lozenges a miss.

So here's to another no smoking day tomorrow and hopefully many more to come.

My promise to practise economy of words didn't last long either but it's good know I can still to share my quit journey (or should I say journeys) with all of you.

Thank you all so much. x