Hi everyone.
Just want to thank you all so very much for caring but I am another failed quit.
The battle is over for now...too much sadness at the moment and I can only cope when there is not a constant thing on my mind.
Quote....I've lost this battle but the war is not over yet. I just have to get christmas out of the way first..
So I wish everyone strength and courage, my time is not yet but I have proved I can do it but not just yet. Sorry.
xxx
Oh I am sorry Woo 
I'm sorry you've got other bad stuff happening in your life at the mo too
Don't beat yourself up hun, come back when you're ready 
If you ever need someone to vent to, you know where I am
((((( Hugs )))))
xxx
Thank you Debbie....I will be back and I will come on here to see how everyone else is doing. Big hug back xx
Gemma honey...thank you xxxx
Hi Woo,
I'm so sorry you're having a hard time petal. There's no reason you can't stick around til you're ready to start again you know. You'll be missed if you drop off the forum and you might get to another quit sooner if you're still checking in every so often.
Just a thought, it's up to you though
I really do hope that things look up for you soon
Molly x
Woo, Debbie and Gemma...
A sad thread, just like Debbie's that I just noticed. So if every cigarette reinforces and strengthens the addiction, and every time you bat away the need for one weakens it, then quitting again sooner rather than later would be good. And try to go as long as possible between them in the meantime. It's not like you don't have some really decent experience of everything involved now between you to set you up.
So maybe now is the time for you to agree the name for your newly formed social group (you three as founder members) and nail a date?
Absolutely right! There seems to be too many posts lately telling people not to beat themselves up when they fail a quit. If I fail (I'm not planning to) I think I should be hard on myself.
Good for you. :rolleyes:
For us mere mortals however, the last thing we need is more guilt.
Have you any idea how hard it is to come on here and admit you've failed?
No you don't and I hope you never will but this is a *support* forum and heaping guilt on people who already feel 2" tall is completely counterproductive and unhelpful. It's the kind of thing that will drive people away rather than get them to come back here and get help to make a forever quit!!
So sorry to see you in this situation. I know it is hard to come and admit that you are back smoking, hell it Is hard to admit it to yourself never mind others. I was so cross with myself when I failed back last may. Never quit quitting , it is different for everyone, . Good Luck.
There are different types of support. For example, when an athelete isn't doing well and starting to fail their manager pushes and shoves to get that bit extra. That's all I was saying, if I fail I would be angry at myself and push myself to try the quit again. Some people may like sympathy but others like to be encouraged to get straight back on it so having that balance in forum should be a good thing.
Some people feel so bruised and battered after failing a quit that it's a case of needing support, not a b***ocking.
Nearly didn't come back when i failed because that was the kind of reception I thought I'd get - and that kind of "support" would make me leave
I certainly don't get angry on a forum..that is counterproductive.
Well congrats.
People have different opinions-fact.
Yes definitely, and I think this is one of those things that's (in most cases) a girl-boy thing.
Something I've noticed on here anyway - neither one is right or wrong but *mostly* we do better with support while you do better with, er, tough love.
Can see your view Gemma but no need to be super sensitive-there is a lot of success to be gained by the application of rigid discipline and I think there are examples on here,of people who might have held onto a quit if they were subject to a bit of tough love and were somehow denied a choice to start smoking again.
I'm not being super sensitive.
Personally I held onto my quit as long as possible until it nearly sent me round the loop, and know I'm not the only one.
But being in that position, I felt bad enough without having any guilt heaped on me, or any harsh words. Nobody could have said anything i hadn't done myself. Don't think any of the recent lapsers did it happily or for fun!!
The enemy here is smoking-it is a DEADLY enemy-we all just want people to quit the filthy habit.
And all of us want to, else we wouldn't be here.
The easiest thing in the world for me would be to kick it into the long grass, say "later" andforget about quitting for the forseeable future but I haven't done that, and thank goodness neither have Woo and Debbie
Why in Hell would you carry on smoking,you have to quit and you need to do it now or this week not 'after Christmas'
I can tell you mean well but a statement like this is gonna get a girl mad, frustrated, etc, etc... she knows she needs to do it now but isn't ready..... we have all been there... tried, put our best effort in, and failed...
Quitting is a huge undertaking for the type of person who really struggles.... and it requires a lot of mental reprogramming... something that's tough to do during stressful holidays.
You've got to be ready, you've got to be prepared, and you've got to understand that it may take a lot of time and repetition to get your brain to acknowledge that smoking is indeed a waste of time and offers you zero benefits in your life.
If some tough love, and 'you need to do it now or else' was all that's needed to quit, there would be hardly any smokers out there.
Woo.... continue to think of quitting, think about what made you lose your quit, and prepare for that possible situation in your next quit. Go into your next quit even more prepared than this past one... stay on the forum, absorb all the messages, continue to participate in the conversations, it will help you prepare mentally! Good luck...
Hi everyone.
Just want to thank you all so very much for caring but I am another failed quit.
The battle is over for now...too much sadness at the moment and I can only cope when there is not a constant thing on my mind.
Quote....I've lost this battle but the war is not over yet. I just have to get christmas out of the way first..
So I wish everyone strength and courage, my time is not yet but I have proved I can do it but not just yet. Sorry.
xxx
Sending you big hugs Woo. Take some time out, gather your thoughts and I look forward to welcoming you back with more hugs when you are ready to do battle again. Good Luck, and don't let the world get you down 
Morning everyone,
Look, I understand fully what everyone is saying, could fill a whole page and requote...but I won't. Max you are right in what you say, I am not questioning that, and I want it known that it was "tough love" that I had from my OH in the first place. That served me well, but it wasn't my quit in the end it was someone else that wanted me to pack up smoking. Now, next time it will be my decision and mine alone. No one knows more than I the damage it does. My God, I probably spent my first 2 weeks into my quit reading about it. Yet I am smoking and NOT enjoying it by the least, but I need to get my mind back into gear, because somewhere along the line MY MIND was scaring me.
I will be back onto my quit, be that tomorrow, next week, next month. But I have to gear myself up to it and prepare. I've lapsed a 2nd quit too soon. I need to know why because I don't know yet. Every time I light up its a battle, everyday for 6 months plus it was a battle and although I was on a good clean way it WAS a battle. I don't feel any better only worse but I don't have to deal with cravings. I can waffle on and on here but I know that you all know exactly what I am saying. My belief is this, I personally don't believe in NRT or any quit help products, if you are going to quit you must do it willpower alone. I know at the moment my willpower is weak.
All new quits reading this, above I stress is my opinion only. I managed a long 6 month quit cold turkey so I know I can do it and I felt amazing, fantastic.
Of Course I want that feeling back, of course I do.
This forum helped me no end and it will be a massive support to me again soon.
Morning everyone,
Look, I understand fully what everyone is saying, could fill a whole page and requote...but I won't. Max you are right in what you say, I am not questioning that, and I want it known that it was "tough love" that I had from my OH in the first place. That served me well, but it wasn't my quit in the end it was someone else that wanted me to pack up smoking. Now, next time it will be my decision and mine alone. No one knows more than I the damage it does. My God, I probably spent my first 2 weeks into my quit reading about it. Yet I am smoking and NOT enjoying it by the least, but I need to get my mind back into gear, because somewhere along the line MY MIND was scaring me.
I will be back onto my quit, be that tomorrow, next week, next month. But I have to gear myself up to it and prepare. I've lapsed a 2nd quit too soon. I need to know why because I don't know yet. Every time I light up its a battle, everyday for 6 months plus it was a battle and although I was on a good clean way it WAS a battle. I don't feel any better only worse but I don't have to deal with cravings. I can waffle on and on here but I know that you all know exactly what I am saying. My belief is this, I personally don't believe in NRT or any quit help products, if you are going to quit you must do it willpower alone. I know at the moment my willpower is weak.
All new quits reading this, above I stress is my opinion only. I managed a long 6 month quit cold turkey so I know I can do it and I felt amazing, fantastic.
Of Course I want that feeling back, of course I do.
This forum helped me no end and it will be a massive support to me again soon.
I know exactly how you feel hun, I could have written a lot of that.
Am the same about wanting to get my head in the right place for it, it probably sounds bananas for people who have already quit but am trying to work myself up to it, be nice to myself and work up what little willpower I've got to make a quit that will last for the rest of my life!!
Not sure when that will be, but I do have 3 possible dates set - might be sooner than any of them though!!
Big hugs to both of you xxx
There's an interesting statement that's worth quoting here,
"If you plan to quit, but really want to smoke, willpower will keep you off the fags until either you achieve the change of heart or run out of willpower."
If you've recently leapt from the wagon you'll be very conscious of the latter but should take some heart in the obvious fact that you've learnt another way not to quit.
Dust yourself down, re-group and try again.
It doesn't have to be tomorrow, next week or even this year.
Remember, you only need to get it right once!
There's an interesting statement that's worth quoting here,
"If you plan to quit, but really want to smoke, willpower will keep you off the fags until either you achieve the change of heart or run out of willpower."
If you've recently leapt from the wagon you'll be very conscious of the latter but should take some heart in the obvious fact that you've learnt another way not to quit.
Dust yourself down, re-group and try again.
It doesn't have to be tomorrow, next week or even this year.
Remember, you only need to get it right once!
Austin,
Wise words that will stick...thank you..I want this quit bad I so do. I feel so dirty. x
Blimey me Debs Gemma, the 3 of us against 1 (Nicdemon) surely we can thrash him to the dirty rotten ground with that stinking rotten fag end on the floor
GROUP HUGS XX
Debs...
This is hell isn't it.
I remember when I tried not smoking the very first time...about 3 years ago. I was given patches and I tell you they didn't help me.
I found myself
A) Not sleeping at all
B) I just could not relax, also I went quite weird on them..Even my speech was faster, I would not finish sentences, get really aggresive.
I was Bad on them I tell you.
So I am really not into patches AT ALL lol.
How are you normally on them ? Would you not consider cold turkey?
It's just that I remember reading this
If a Heroin Addict is quitting the drugs, you would not give them more heroin to stop would you. I just feel you are feeding the exact drug you are trying to quit.
Tonight I have no more fags and tonight I am choosing NOT TO SMOKE.
I am just taking it a minute at a time...making sure I am going out into a smoke free enviroment too.
Oh no ! Lol didn't mean to make you pee xx
I am so glad you both still have your sense of humour intact 
There's an interesting statement that's worth quoting here,
"If you plan to quit, but really want to smoke, willpower will keep you off the fags until either you achieve the change of heart or run out of willpower."
If you've recently leapt from the wagon you'll be very conscious of the latter but should take some heart in the obvious fact that you've learnt another way not to quit.
Dust yourself down, re-group and try again.
It doesn't have to be tomorrow, next week or even this year.
Remember, you only need to get it right once!
That is a really good post!!
Wish there was a "like" button on here
Blimey me Debs Gemma, the 3 of us against 1 (Nicdemon) surely we can thrash him to the dirty rotten ground with that stinking rotten fag end on the floor
GROUP HUGS XX
YAY we will, like Charlies Angels 
((( hugs)))
Tonight I have no more fags and tonight I am choosing NOT TO SMOKE.
I am just taking it a minute at a time...making sure I am going out into a smoke free enviroment too.
YAY go Woo!!
Am cheering you on
This is great and I too wish there was a 'like' button somewhere, I'd hit it several times in support. I'm so pleased that you have the conviction to sail cleanly out of the doldrums. Really pleased - so uplifted after the last few days, stay optimistic and I'm sure that you'll succeed. Great stuff you guys!!
Sorry to hear your news Woo, and Debbie too; I can see Max's point in one sense, about waiting for the right time, so to speak. I don't see what difference a date makes myself, my quit date is June 24th, it's just when it happened, it falls on my son's birthday but not by design.
I think if I had actually planned it, ceremonially smoked the last fag, etc, it would have been doomed. That's just me though. It's all just chronology to me, I don't know any one who's ever beaten (or is beating) an addiction, whose quit date is New Years' blo*dy Eve. But as Karri says, maybe it's easier to say when you're in a quit, rather than thinking about it.
I hope the idea of a support group takes off, there is a lot of experience between you all that might just make a difference....
The "forever" thing.....isn't a day at a time more manageable? Or a minute, as Woo said? They soon rack up, with a lot less pressure too I found....
