Advice required, sorry I am a piece of work :(

Well as you all probably know I fell off the wagon, I really fell off it as I've had a 10 pack since yesterday after work :(

I now have a choice which I would really like your advice/guidance on (promise last time then I'll give over about me!) , there are two cigs left in that pack. I really want to quit but I have a lot of educating and talking to myself to do. I'm afraid to step back that I won't get back on the wagon soon but on the other hand I'm scared of failing again.

So my choice is do I finish the pack, then have a complete fresh start when I wake up in the morning or do I buy more and hold off until I feel ready??? What if I never feel ready!

Also hubby hasn't smoked since Sunday evening so he's on board!

I just don't know what to do? How do I know when I'm ready? Do I just take the plunge and fight it till the death? How do I get rid of this self doubt and fear of failure..

18 Replies

  • You are looking for permission to smoke and hopefully nobody will give you it. Smoke if you want to smoke but stop shunning the responsibility for your life onto others.

    Belt up and get the big girl knickers on


  • Fair point Paul but that's not what I'm asking for at all, maybe I should have worded it better.

    People say hold back and quit when your ready, others say just get on the wagon and do it therefore I am asking what are people opinions on this!

  • The only one that matters are yours. You really want to base this life changing decision on a straw poll on the internet ? Are you for real ?


  • If that's the case, why the need for a support forum?

    Look I don't want this thread to turn into a debate, if you don't like my use of this support forum then don't comment on my posts.

    I'm more than entitled to ask for advice/guidance from those who have successfully quit on this forum, is that not it's purpose?

  • Now Mrs Mash! Do it now! :D

    Whenever you feel like you need to ask yourself a question about "holding off" or "waiting until ready", these are just excuses that your smokers head is feeding you.

    I say do it now, especially if you have your husband backing you as well!


  • The support forum is to support people who want to quit. So why ask if you should quit on a support forum for quitting ? Why not ask on a forum for smoking ? See if you can't get the answer you want ?


    Edited to add : if you don't want responses don't put it out there. MrsMash I want you to quit, it would appear more than you want to be quit yourself and I say that because somebody who wanted to be quit would not ask 'ok shod I quit or smoke a bit more'. But unfortunately I cannot make you quit. Believe me if there is anything I could say that would make you quit I would.

  • The support forum is to support people who want to quit. So why ask if you should quit on a support forum for quitting ? Why not ask on a forum for smoking ? See if you can't get the answer you want ?


    Because she is scared and confused after having some false starts beforehand and she needs support in doing so, not a bo**ocking.

  • Gemma,

    Support comes in many many different colours. If you are offering support and advice offer it. Don't have a to at me.


  • Gemma,

    Support comes in many many different colours. If you are offering support and advice offer it. Don't have a to at me.


    Don't have a "to" at Mrs Mash then Paul.

  • Lmao. You know I meant go ... I have put on all my weight on my fingers. And iPhone keypad to small. Anyways. I am really not having a go. Honest. I want mrsMash to really own this one. The fact mrs m is still here means she will quit. For sure. But I am hoping she really makes it her own.

    Rather than I said she should smoke for another week and a magic fairy would come and tell her just in time that it was time to quit...

    And I will have a to at whoever I like :-)


  • At the end of the day it's YOUR decision. If you are getting disheartened by your failures then by all means take some time and get yourself prepared. If you think you're better off getting straight back to it then do that. Do whatever feels will work for YOU! If there's one thing we've all learned here it's that all of us are different and what works for one doesn't necessarily work for another.

    What she said.

    You have had several false starts, and it would in the long run be far worse to have another one if you don't feel totally committed to quitting.

    You do need to fight hard, and if you feel ready to do it that's brilliant, go for it, and pour water on your fags right away.

    If you don't it would probably be better to get yourself totally ready, plan your NRT or not, plan your methods, and set a hard and fast date.

    This is your life, your lungs and your quit so you have to do what is right for you!!

  • Thanks folks, kinda sorry I started this now but whatever what's done is done.

    Only me can do this, I keep searching for magic words that's going to make it click but I need to realise I'll be searching for the rest of my life!

    Decision made, fresh start begins tomorrow.

    As you said Gemma, I'm scared but it's time to feel the fear and do it anyway!

  • I really can't add anything advice wise but whatever you decide we will be here be it tomorrow or next week. We want you to want to quit mrs m, that way you will quit :)

    Molly x

    Whoops, we will be here tomorrow then, I'm always late! :D

  • Your decision....

    As I said in my last post, I would try again straight away but only if you are armed with all you need to start. I am only saying this because after my one and only attempt before, I was so scared of failure that I put it off for four years, don't make the same mistake, there is never a good time. :D good luck whatever you decide.

  • Decision made then, great to hear MrsMash, you've been here before so know what it takes and never give up giving up...

    For what it's worth my early doors mindset was that never smoking again was singularly the most important thing in my life. More important than any event, any emotional situation, whatever quitting took out of me I am a proud human and stronger than a plant. Today, tomorrow, the next day, next week, next month and onwards. You are strong and can do this, you are better than a plant MrsMash! Good luck! :)

  • Its rather obvious really Mrs just don't put a fag in your mouth and light it, nothing to fear, you are still treating your fag addiction as some magic medicine that will make your life, your mental state, your world just that little bit better.....but it doesn't does it?

    I was like you a year ago, 'think I might stop when I have had this last fag' or 'think I might stop after my holiday' 'think I might stop after my goldfish birthday' 'think I might stop after world peace'

    When you realise that stopping smoking will not change you as a person (apart from health and wealth of course) that if you were a happy person as a smoker...then you will still be a happy person as a non-smoker,if you were a miserable b-u-g-g-e-r as a smoker,,,then guess what you are still that misery!

    Anyways I'm waffling now-fags only change your life in one way-it ends it prematurely...thats it xxx;)

    So throw those 2 fags away-you don't 'need' them and lets dust down and just get on with been a non smoker eh@

    big hugs and smiles xxx

  • Mrs Mash...

    Oh I so remember my dilemmas - the split telling the other.

    So feel for you but this has to be your decision as IT IS YOUR QUIT and yours alone.

    My advise though, being as you are asking is carry on smoking until YOU are ready. Everyone can say don't but you won't listen. So get your head cleared. Maybe read Allen Carr and take his advise. You don't need to be told the dangers, you know them yourself. Russian Roulette is a game to be played with consequences. There is a hell of a lot of help here, waiting when you seriously are ready.

    Wish you good luck, good health and courage xx

  • Apologies ....

    I've just re Read and You are giving it another go !


    Thata girl ! :))

    Good luck routing for you ! X

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