I am not happy as a non smoker

Hey Folks,

Just dont know what else to do. I really am not happy as a non smoker, my life does not feel complete and I cannot cope with day to day emotions. My hubby thinks I might need to go to the docs and get some medication but I seriously seriously do not and have not felt myself since I started my quit. Nothing is satisfying and I am still crying about it.

At this stage should this not all be away. I was feeling bad last week too but thought it would ease after a while. I just want to smoke!

Sorry for ranting AGAIN!

Jill xxx

21 Replies

  • Jill

    No sure what I can say, I doubt I'm the 'sympathetic' ear you may need !

    Firstly, you've gone 4.5 months without a smoke, that should be celebrated, it must have taken a mass of willpower and dedication.

    Secondly, there must be health benefits that you are enjoying now ? If not then you're certainly doing your body a massive favour for the rest of your life.

    Finally, life is likely to feel incomplete until the brain registers that smoking is not normal practice, I'm guessing that every day for the past few months has been a battle not to do something that has for years (pressumably) felt natural - this may be something hynotherapy can help with ?

    Clearly I don't know how you're feeling but going so long is such an achievement and I wonder if you realise the upside of that ?

    I wish you well

  • i know how you feel

    Hi Jill

    This really isn't going to help you, but, if it is any concilation I know exactly how you feel!! I gave up on valentine's day and have been low, miserable, nasty and fat ever since!!! I like routine in my life, I feel out of sorts all of the time. I don't know how much longer I can cope with feeling like this either.

    I really hope that we can both wake up tomorrow feeling alive and refreshed and not wanting to smoke.

  • Thanks!

    Well I dont really see many health benefits at all, infact much the opposite. My doc said in the beginning it was "the toxins leaving my body" but what is the excuse now for the ulcers and coldsores. I know long term it will be better for my health but what if I am always feeling like this? Surely a life of feeling content is better than one of feeling unsatisfied. Arrrggghhh I just want the "feeling" that feeling you get from taking somthing deeply into your lungs.

    I notice from your sig you quit for 6 months before, if you dont mind me asking, was it the "just one" thing that made you unsucessful that time?

    Thanks for the advice!

    Jill x

  • I am so sorry Jill that you are still missing the thought of smoking as that is what I think it is, it’s a thought and I truly believe that if you were to light up today you would regret it more than you could possibly realise.

    I gave up before and like you I thought that I had no purpose in life when I wasn’t smoking, so after 11 very hard months and a family upset I went and brought some cigs, yep you guessed it I was a smoker again, was I happy and contented after starting again, let me think, was I F*** I was sad and miserable that I had given into a stupid idea that smoking was enjoyable, did I quit straight the way no I didn’t because it seemed harder than ever so I smoked for another 20 years and did a load more damage to my body and then one day I stopped and although I did have some very sad days were it was like losing a very very close friend, I got there in the end, no one said it was easy, no one said I wouldn’t miss it but what everyone did say, and they were right, was that eventually I would feel better both physically and mentally and that once I had reached a certain point I would never want to smoke again.

    Guess what I don’t want to smoke again and I am now happy to be a none smoker.

    This will get better when you sit down and tell yourself why you quit in the first place and keep reminding yourself that you chose to do this for all the right reason and that smoking again would be for all the wrong reasons.

    I hate to be harsh and say there is only one person who can keep this quit going and that’s you, we will give you all the support you need but we cannot do it for you I wish we could, hang in there gal you will do it just rant on here and let us get you back on track.

    PS you are lucky like me to have a OH who at least tries to understand.

  • Miles- Thanks for taking the time to reply when you are having a hard time too, I think Jamangie is right, it is just a thought. I truely hope you make it through too, I mean we have made it this far, who would have thought it eh? My husband is so proud of me and tells me all the time but I dont think he gets how much I miss it, jees when I talk about it I feel like crying.

    Have any of you's seen the scene in friends when Chandler sneeks a puff or some random persons cigerette from behind them, well I was that close yesterday. I thought the smoke smelled AMAZING but yet a month ago it repulsed me! A person in the apartment below me was smoking and it was wafting into my window and boy, it smelled good.

    I know in my heart I can't smoke again, I honestly do, I dont want cancer or heart disease. You know up until about 2 years ago I had convinced myself that I could stop so easily and wasn't that addicted, how wrong was I!!

    It is funny how our mind plays tricks on us. And when I looked at the price of cigs in the garage yesterday I was gobsmacked, they seem to have went up by about 70p since I smoked, how does anyone afford it?!!! I say that now but I ALWAYS found money to smoke, used to hunt through silvers for enough lol, like a junky looking for a hit, yuk!

    Thanks again!

    Jill xxx

  • Hiya Jill,

    This may not help much but I think that if you were to have a cigarette you would actually consider it laughable that it once made you so unhappy to not have one! This by no means is me trying to get you to have 'just the one' because we all know how bad that can turn out but I'm just trying to get you to put things into persepective....

    Why don't you write a list of what would be better if you smoked and why (e.g. Having a drink - because it would numb your taste buds so much that you'd taste the alcohol differently). Maybe it'll help you see that your life really wouldn't be better if you smoked.

    I went on holiday last weekend with 2 smoker friends (there was only 3 of us) and I can honestly say that a lot of smokers are selfish in terms of what they 'want' (a fag!). Why don't you think about what you want (apart from a fag of course!)? Maybe set yourself a new goal as the novelty of quitting seems to be wearing off.

    Also, re: the skin problems... could it be that you're eating more fatty foods and that's why your skin hasn't cleared yet?

    Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time btw, you should feel so proud of what you've done! Don't give up now, you'll turn that corner any day now :)

  • Hi Jill,

    I quit (Oct 2009) with a large bunch of folk some of whom felt pretty wretched around the 4 to 6 month period. Depression, tears, misery, self doubts ... you name it some felt all of those for a while. Not all felt bad I grant but for those that did, it was at times hard going. One or two fell by the way side whilst most pushed on through, some using St Johns Wort to help, exercise was taken up by some .... copious amounts of wine/beer and chocolate were consumed.

    Who can say for sure if what your feeling is down to not smoking, maybe it is maybe it's not :) Personal experience of quitting and remembering those of my quit buddies I'd say, or very much hope, that you are not far from turning a corner when hopefully moods, energy and all round normality will resume once again :)

    I've put in a link which explains a little of the effects on our metabolism that quitting can cause. Apologies if old news ..... if new news, hope it helps a little.


    Wishing you well

    Pol x

  • 'I notice from your sig you quit for 6 months before, if you dont mind me asking, was it the "just one" thing that made you unsucessful that time?'

    Mine was a stressful situation that I should have been able to handle without resorting back to the weed - lessone learned, remove all smoking products from the house when quitting !

    At the time I thought one wouldn't hurt, but one became two and within a day I was back up to 15 a day. Many people I know have tried the 'just one' approach and become full time smokers immediately, it really doesn't work and will undo all the hard work.

    Not only that but those who have gone back to smoking said the 'just one' cigarette was disgusting and made them ill, but carried on smoking until the 'normal enjoyment' returned ? ? ?

    Do yourself a big favour Jill, find another way of dealing with the cravings, one single puff on a fag and I'm sure you will regret it.

    Be strong !

  • Jill,

    Since my quit, I have gained 27 lbs., almost hate my husband (who really is a dear for the most part), have chronic sinusitis, pimples (AT MY AGE), now strep throat, did I mention MOODY & BITCHY (my poor children), can sleep at the drop of a hat, have no energy...am so bloody proud of myself.

    Went to the docs yesterday; he informed me that many long standing, heavy smokers, for about a year after their quit, go thru the mill with respiratory infections, moods, weight gain...

    Jill, most of us struggle with the thought of smoking vs. not smoking. I loved smoking. I would stick one in every available orifice and lite them if doc said it was healthy. If you have to suck back on something try an inhalor, take out the nicotene and suck back on air or peppermint oil (I do when I am murderous). Read and re-read your quit reasons. Make lists of the pros and cons; go to the docs, not necessarily for medication, but to talk to him, ask his advice

    Jill, wish I had a magic wand to make it better; it will pass if you can give it time.


  • Jill, Jen's right (in fact we had a similar discussion about our feelings yesterday)...definitely go thru the reasons why you quit, run them in your head over & over again..it doesn't stop the depression but it helps. As for missing it...yep, so do I...stupid, I know & I didn't realise how often I would reward myself for good behaviour with a fag until lately...I noticed it especially working on the garden. I must have done everything round...'If I get this done, I can have a fag!' Both myself & my OH have both admitted we miss it but we can't go back....we made that promise to our 10 year old son & we won't let him down. I still get the odd ulcer & pimples & bleeding gums & insomnia & restless leg syndrome &.....the list goes on but I will NOT let my life be ruled by a bloody fag again! & yes, I'm the same...my friend stayed the weekend with us & she's a smoker...the smell didn't put me off, in fact I was almost drooling at one point (not a pretty sight, believe me!) but I just can't face the thought of going thru the hell of quitting again. I can really sympathise with the depression too...I really went thru it, still am every now & then but not sure whether it's the lack og cigs or some underlying stuff going on. I hope you can get thru this, Jill, I really do...best of luck, hun :)

  • A tenant came by the other day to pay rent; he had just had a smoke. Not someone I have ever found even remotely attractive. It was all I could do not to grab him and stick my tongue down his throat he smelled so good. Nothing like the smell of fresh ciggy smoke. Stale smoke YUK

  • Oh, pmsl, Jen!!!!! Bit drastic, tho! :D:D:D

  • aahhh, but I didn't, but I really must say, that fresh smell of smoke did smell rather attractive. Funny how it hits you; yesterday when I went to docs a heavy smoker must have just left the room and it still ponged.

  • Yes, stale smoke reeks but at times, fresh can smell enticing!!!

  • It takes time, the smokes have been part of your life for a long time. It will take willpower and a lot of hard work. The drug tells ya you need it, it tells you you will never feel complete. BULLSH@T. Stay the course, weather the storms. Ive been quit since August 2009 and I have had some minor blips, but the total is 5 smokes since. Beat the drug and the addiction.....keep trying and remember smoking will kill you, I found out my estranged father passed away a couple of months ago. Guess what from.... Lung cancer..... My Mother passed away 2004....... smoking related. Quitting is worth it and in truth there is no other option. It took me around 6 months to get stable, another 2 to stop thinking about smoking at least once a day, a year and things started looking up and became doable without constant thought. This site and the people on it are a GREAT HELP. Use the site whenever you get the crave.

    There ya go old doom and gloom is back LOL. Goodluck with your quit. Hey to everyone I know still here:D

  • Oh Jill, I'm sorry I missed this before. I completely sympathise - and I think you're doing terrifically well to keep on trucking when things seem to be against it so much.

    There's been some good advice on here. The ones that are comforting me (because I've been finding it tough lately, though not as hard as you) are the year pluss-ers. Even the ones who really went through the mill for six months or so seem to have come up smelling of roses in the end.

    Obviously it's tougher for some than for others. But in a way, those who suffer longer have MORE of an incentive to keep going, rather than less. Because at the end of the day, let's face it, we don't want to be poisoning ourselves, and would we or could we put ourselves through this again?

    Just one other thing... I'm sure you shouldn't still be getting cold sores and ulcers as a quitting related symptom. They could be because you are very run down/stressed. Don't be afraid of seeing your GP - I'm not suggesting you need anything major, but you might find that anaemia, or vitamin deficiency, or hormone imbalance might be making you feel a lot worse than you need to be feeling. At least rule these factors out before you reach for a fag!

    (BIG HUGS)

    H xxx

  • Morning Jill,

    How are you feeling today? Hope you have a great day.


  • The support from you guys really makes me feel better, I have to say I still feel doubtful but the sun has came out and I am trying to be in a better mindset.

    My hubby and I where talking last night and I was telling him how I feel and he made a very valid point. He said "Jill, you stopped smoking and started taking a new pill at exactly the same time" then it clicked, maybe the weight gain and emotions and spotty skin etc is linked to the pill too. Soooooooooo I am going to come off this pill and see if my mood increases becasue I really do feel teary! Hopefully there will be no baby Jill's running around soon though lol :-/ I almost hope it is the pill because otherwise I might be just crazy then :-/ lol.

    hels, I was at the docs, he said I had a viral infection that was leading to all these small things and gave me an anti viral thing, doesn't really seemed to have helped but who am I to doubt them eh?!

    Onwards and upwards everyone

    Thanks again!

    Jill xxx

  • hi jill hope u are doing ok

    you and OH could definately be on to something with the pill i have gone through endless types of pills and after a couple of months i end up on the brink of depression it took a while to suss what was causing it for me

    i went through an awfull lot of different types and always ended up the same

    now my doctor wont prescribe them to me, hence i have 5 kids lol

    seriously its definately worth considering with how u are feeling

    i do remember once when i was taking one of the pills and feeling bad that i threw a plate down the stairs and my OH luckily i missed him i then i threw my pack of pill down at his head and shouted its these making me do it . it sounds funny now but it wasnt at the time

  • Well, Jill...that sounds positive & it also sounds like your frame of mind is a bit better too. Keep going, hun...we're all willing you on! :D

  • Hi Jill - I could have written your opening post myself when I was at that stage of my quit!

    I felt like my normal self had been replaced by some miserable fat creature with no purpose at all, and everything would probably have been OK if I hadn't been daft enough to stop smoking.....

    It was so bad that I'd pass corner shops on the bus, and seriously think "I could get off at the next stop, go in there, and buy a pack of 20 - then everything would be OK again.

    Well I didn't - and it WOULDN'T - but it soon got better, as Pol said it wasn't long after feeling so bad that I and others too seemed to turn a corner (or go round the bend!) :)

    Sunshine definitely helped cheer me up, and it's getting to that time of year where we should be getting more of it!

    Hope you're feeling better now - or if not just now then very soon! xx

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