Sorry but I HAVE to let it out!!!!!!

I'm on week 3 but all of a sudden I wan a baby!!!!!! I have wanted a baby for a while but not as bad as now, it was like I could control it while I was smoking but now I really can't sop thinking about it, my partner can have kids so there is a slim chance of me to have a baby, he said he wants a baby, but then he doesn't. I don't know what to do :-( I can't take not being able to smoke if I'm having to think bout this!!!!!! Please help :-(

15 Replies

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  • I'm confused - i thought you had a baby? You mentioned post natal depression in your last post?

    Either way - you dont want to start smoking again if you want to try for a baby! i thought the broodiness may be part of your body getting healthier - just speculating tho - no expert!:)

  • Yeah I have a little boy who is 3, 4 in September. I don't know what it is but it is doing my head in.......

  • Maybe see how it goes for a while with the not smoking and see how your partner feels in a few months. The feelings of broodiness do come and go. Visit the supermarket if not and watch tantruming toddlers and see if that puts you off for a bit, lol

  • That's the problem I already have one lol, he is 3, 4 in september, I just need away to stop feeling like this :-( I might seem crazy but I don't know what to do :-(

  • I could be wrong because I'm not a woman but I would say this could be your excuse to start smoking again. We all go through it I lost my sister last year and my first thought was If I started smoking again everyone would understand. This was followed by other things, a court case, problems with my daughter, not being able to work because of the weather then I lost a brother.

    Fortunately I managed to come through all these things without smoking and as you can see it's now over 15 months.

    It may be possible that although you don't realise it you are telling yourself the only way you will deal with this and get rid of this feeling is to start smoking again, then it will go away. It could simply be an excuse in you brain to allow you to smoke. You can then tell everyone "I had to smoke again to stop me wanting a baby"

    I could be wrong but I hope in some way I have helped. As I said I'm not a woman, don't give up giving up please.

    Jack xx

  • Hi CL

    Great advice from Jack, and I think he could be right!

    I am female but I've never wanted children so I'm not an expert either but wouldn't it be better to bargain with yourself? You shouldn't smoke and be pregnant and not smoking increases the chance of you getting pregnant, so maybe if you set a number of months of not smoking and you can then think about having another baby?

    So a sort 'if Im not smoking in 12 months, I'll have a baby' kind of thing!

    As I say I've never wanted kids so maybe not the best person to answer! Whatever don't give in!

  • having a baby

    crazy lady. If you want a baby so desparately (not just because you a bored coz you cant smoke) then have a baby. Obviously if you oh agrees. me and my h cant have children naturally. But I have chosen to stop smoking so that in a few years when treatment is an option I will stand a better chance. I would agree to wait a while, but please do not start smoking again.

  • Hi CL. I'm afraid I do go along with the thoughts that your mind is focussing on something that perhaps is out of reach in order to give you a reason or excuse should you end up smoking again. I can certainly remember in the early days, getting particularly upset or annoyed or obsessed with things, because I had a couple of failed attempts previously I recognised it as setting myself up for a reason to fail.

    Try to stay calm (easily said I know) but you have to find something more positive to focus on instead of things that are out of reach at present. On the plus side think of not smoking as paving the way to a happy and healthy conception in the future, but perhaps not for now. Be careful of setting yourself goals at the moment. The mind has some re-adjusting to do. If you can try and focus on something more current in your life, smaller achievements that will make you feel good about yourself now.

    Don't start smoking again, you have managed for 3 weeks which is fantastic, focus on that brilliant achievement and push on. One day at a time!

    Lorraine

  • hi c l

    i remember writing a very similar post near the beginning of my quit with regards to being desparate for another baby (considering my youngest is only 8 months at the moment) it seems bizarre thought now looking back

    maybe it was an excuse that if i didnt have a baby i could smoke (which i didnt) but i think more for me pregnancy makes me feel like i am totally secure in my life and that nothing and no one can get to me wen i am pregnant and that it offers me a really positive feeling wen i am pregnant

    i feel for me it was these secure feelings i was craving as i felt quite out of control near the beginning of my quit, the quitting created a feeling i hadnt experienced before as this is my first serious quit and i wanted that secure feeling of being pregnant

    the feeling have faded to normal levels now for me personally i always want another baby even though i have 5 kids already i just love being pregnant and being a mummy

  • My advice? Watch three episodes of "One Born Every Minute" back to back and then ask yourself if you really want to do that again right now?!

    That programme brings tears to my eyes and I am a bloke....god knows why you'd want to go through all that twice/three times/more.

  • omg watching one born every minuite makes me more broody i think yeah i could do that again definately lol

  • u would think having a child is a strong enough motivation to quit but when u are a full time smoker even the children arnt enough to make u quit not until u are ready to do it yourself

    i have made every excuse under the sun to continue smoking in the past even smoked through my pregnancies much to my disgust now but at the time i could justify it as i was a nicotine junkie who would have my fix watever

    i have seen many people say "if i have a baby i will quit" only to see them a couple of years later smoking right through there pregnancy because a full time smoker will justify it nine times outta ten

  • i know what you mean boo - though i dont have kids, i guess it's kind of like when people say "why do you smoke when you know it causes cancer?" :rolleyes:

    D'oh! If it were that easy, to say "oh yeah cancer is bad i wont smoke anymore" no-one would. Ditto kids, money, relationships - you can you use these things as "back-up motivators" but the main one has to be YOU, cos you want to.

    Sorry if that's a bit rambly - was telling someone at work i'm having a hard time today re not smoking and they said "dont smoke, it's bad for you" - made me so mad:mad:

  • God this forum is amazing...... I do watch one born every minute and I get really broody at it.

    I also smoke thro my pregnancy but I never got to feel or see what other mothers could see as I didn't know I was going to be a mother till I was 6 months gone and then I had my son at 7 months.... At the time I just wanted to feel what everyone felt when they was pregnant.

    I don't know what made me feel the way I did, and I have never felt like that b4.

    My son keeps me on my toes and I love that feeling. I know I am ready to be a mommy again, but my motto is everything happens for a reason, so I will have a baby when the time is right. I'm just glad I got my son :-) I might not have my family but it's there loss.....

    Thank you everyone for all you help, I never knew one forum could be so much help :-D

    You all should be very proud of yourselves :-D

    Once again thank you x x x x x

    X x x x

  • You've gone past 2 weeks it's not easier but you may now find it easier to deal with it and say no.

    Well done

    Jack:)

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