Ive relapsed

Hello everyone,

I want to be honest about my pit falls in life so i ahve come to let you all know. I wasnt ready yet, i knew i was going to relapse on my holiday (4 weeks time in magaluf) which is why these last 4 days were so hard because in my head i already had :mad:

But its ok, I have quit before and been smiling each day so i know the difference. Its ok though, for whatever reason i am hanging on to this addiction and i need to figure out why until i can quit completely, as i was not physically addicted for the last nearly 3 weeks! (quit cold turkey). I will do it, im only 24 so i cant help but think its because i feel like im haning up my 'party hat'? when live gets serious maybe i will get serious.

But just to warn those who really DO WANT to quit and are worrying, you cannot have one puff, i woke up these morning and the demon was back already even after just 2 ciggerttes yesterday! madness! i am a smoker again. and it is abit gutting im not going to lie.

Anyways ill be back when its time again :) good luck everyone xxxx

7 Replies

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  • Oh Nikki, that's a shame.

    Not going to nag or anything like that but think *very* hard before you carry on smoking.

    I quit smoking at 24, it wasn't exactly easy, but it was a CT quit 'cos i was ill for a week - and then got nagged into not starting again. That lasted 18 months before I was incredibly stupid.

    Anyway fast forward to last December, when I was 28. Almost 3 years of smoking later, my quit was far harder than only 4 years before.

    If you start smoking again now, (WHY????) how long will you go on sucking in cancer causing chemicals into your body before you decide it's "time"?

    Smoking is nothing to do with your "party hat" it's a drug addiction - end of.

  • Ohhh, Nicki, you were just one day in front of me, they say that week 3 is a git.

    I do hope you brush yourself down and get back here pretty quick.

    I feel sad that you think of it as giving up your party hat rather than all the benefits you would be gaining....just think how much longer you could dance/rave for with clearer lungs.

    I guess as ALL the people you are going on holiday with are smokers it would have been hard 24/7 with no non-smokers about.

    If you try to give it a go again, come back here, get the support from us all.

    Lots of love and all the best fro your next quit xx

  • Ah Nikki, that is a shame but you are brave to face up to it and to be honest.

    I first quit when I was a few years younger than you and also felt a bit like the 'party days' were somewhat over or would never be the same again... I went CT and after a few months was back on the fags.

    Fast forward 8 years and I am on my second attempt using a bit of NRT, and it really does not feel like I am doing this under duress at all - I am ready to quit and can see a good night out being just as fun without the fags - something which I could not have done before, so I'm sure you will feel the same one day.

    But, as Gemma said, this second quit is much much harder, so if you can, go for it sooner rather than later but only when you are totally ready and when you do not resent the quit - in a weird way it should be enjoyed as it is an achievement!

  • Thank you for your replys! i dont think ill be smoking again for too long to be honest. Its hard to explain but ive had a surgery that has dramatically changed my looks, for the better and im single. I am 24 and dont plan to party until im 26 lol But i was the party girl when i was younger and i guess i just want one more 'i dont give a ****' before i get back serious again. That is the honest reason. Thats why quitting before was easy because thats where i was at, i was like im done with all that moving on in life.

    I know is Bo**ox, but everyone has there thing and i happen to of been given a second wind of 'teen' fever so im just gonna go with it and i know ill naturally come back to being sensible.

    Cya in a few months :)

  • i dont think ill be smoking again for too long to be honest.

    That's what I said and it took me almost 3 years to quit.

    I do think you need to sit down and ask yourself why you're starting again. What is it that smoking *adds* to your life?

    Is that worth spending a huge amount of money on, for something that smells horrible and causes a multitude of diseases?

    Am only a few yars older than you, but have felt much fitter since quitting and look years younger as well.

    Whatever your reasons, the longer you smoke the more addicted you get and the higher chance you have of developing a serious illness further down the line. There will *always* be a good reason not to stop now, but after Christmas/birthday/holiday whatever.

  • Sorry to hear it! You're explanation to me is not one of clear thinking. The demon has you again and is tricking you into thinking you can quit any time you like. That's not true, I'll be the first to admit this is what I did for years; tricking myself into just one more pack.

    It will only stick if you make it stick!

    The thing I like about partying without smokes, is that I don't wake up with a horrible heavy chest, coughing and spluttering my way to make tea with a hangover, and choking myself further with a smoke. I guess it all comes down to willpower, I managed this after 5 days CT.

    Anyway enough of my babbling, it's bordering on shouting! See you back in a few years probably!!! :(, when I've long been in the Penthouse! :D

  • illusion

    Hi Nikki,

    it's very useful to hear how people feel when they start again after quit - and is valuable in helping us all continue - so openness and honesty very much appreciated.

    Thinking 'the party is over' is addiction talking. The party starts when you stop smoking. Addiction plays all kinds of tricks - I know listened to them for forty years and still have them in my ear on day 40 of quit. Not smoking is a major investment in your health and appearance - the benefits will be there for you to see.

    Come and join the party again - kick addiction out.

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