Advice needed

Okay guys, I would like to ask for advice from people who have been there before. I know I have had it relatively easy in my quit and am thankful for this. But when I start thinking about the improvements I have constant pain, phlemy throat, overly tired, sore mouth, loose teeth, put on 2 stone. I know that these are all temporary things and that my body will soon be back to how it should and I will feel fantastic. This doesn;t bother me because I know this. I have had craves and thoughts of I WANT A CIG. Again, this really doesn't bother me because I know its temporary. This morning has been different. This morning the thoughts have been 'This quit isn't going to take and I don't mind'. I know that this is the addiction trying to assert it's hold but I really don't think I would mind if the quit doesn't last tho I would very much like it too. Any advice you can give guys? Is this normal or is there someone who has gone through this during week 6 or afterwards? As always, I appreciate the help and support. I should state that I actually don't want a smoke at all. I'm just concerned about the feeling.

21 Replies

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  • Hi Mark, sounds to me like there are doubts creeping in. I think you should try to put your mind back in the place it was when you began this quit journey. How did you feel then? why did you quit? Write it all down in a reply to this.

    Ask yourself, are you happy to start smoking again and accept all that comes with it? including the self loathing and the knowledge that you are being a mug?

    i am only at day 10 mate so perhaps not qualified (actually - yes i am! i dont remember anything about needing qualifications to join this forum) so - take a trip back in time and remember how you felt.

    do you really want to be a smoker again? the answer is no so you need to find your motivation?

    good luck fella.

  • Hi Mark

    its your smoking side trying different tactics as its normal ones dont work anymore it likes to find another approach to try and tempt you back

    but the further along the quit you go the stronger you will get

    just keep saying no i dont smoke anymore every day will help you to reinforce it

    your doing such a great job

    :D

    onwards and upwards

    Carol

  • It smoking side trying to get u hooked again. Don't give into it. Stay strong. Tell it back off. Ur stronger than it

  • I'm getting a bit of this wanting creeping in over the last week or so , this is my week 8. ..but I want to be a non-smoker so much more than I want to be a smoker. I keep reminding myself that this feeling is just that...a feeling that's trying to drag me back to my old ways. A few seconds, at its worst minutes, and it's gone.

    I have cigs left in a drawer from when I started my quit, so I know I can go and have one anytime I like. But I am sticking with choosing not to smoke for loads of benefits rather than satisfying a fairly fleeting desire.

    I think it's part of the habit, the OCD nature of smoking having a final blast to persuade us that smoking is the best way when in our heads, hearts and bodies we know there is not one single good thing we get from it. Not one cos I am not going to count the momentary "Ahhh" moment that needs more and more nicotine to get it .

    Stay strong,Mark.

  • those pesky thoughts are soo annoying and so

    FALSE

    :eek:

    Your smoking side is tempting you to smoke by giving you false memories of how good it would be to actually smoke again but its all lies once you get passed a certain time you forget the actual reality of smoking so your smoking side will create false memories to make you yearn/crave for one

    if you did say inhale a ciggy now you would automatically start coughing and choking and thinking wtf is this disgusting taste :eek: it can also make you retch if you want to get a sense of how bad it would be smell a ciggy that has been stubbed out you will soon realise the truth

    stay strong by saying no i dont smoke and i am not going to give you that power over my life again

  • Thanks for the comments and the encouragement guys. I think it's just freaking me out because it was so matter of fact in my head that it wasn't going to take, even though I have no desire or craving to smoke. Just wondered if anyone else has gone through this.

  • hi mark i was like you a few weeks ago thought i was going mad didnt want to smoke but had this feeling of whats the point and found myself questioning every little thing about my quit im so glad i pushed on with the quit the feelings soon went so stay strong and keep going you are doing so well :D:D:D

  • we keep talking about this little demon or monster living inside of us playing tricks on us to tempt us back in. Sorry but i dont buy that anymore. There is no monster, it is all in the mind. I am controlling my thoughts (i think) because i just dont "want" to smoke - in other words i have no desire to smoke. End of story. I really think that if you are having these thoughts (not cravings) then a part of you "wants" to have a cig. Thats the thing, do you "want" to smoke or not. Definition of want below.

    want (wnt, wônt)

    v. want·ed, want·ing, wants

    v.tr.

    1.

    a. To desire greatly; wish for:

    Good luck.

  • we keep talking about this little demon or monster living inside of us playing tricks on us to tempt us back in. Sorry but i dont buy that anymore. There is no monster, it is all in the mind. I am controlling my thoughts (i think) because i just dont "want" to smoke - in other words i have no desire to smoke. End of story. I really think that if you are having these thoughts (not cravings) then a part of you "wants" to have a cig. Thats the thing, do you "want" to smoke or not. Definition of want below.

    want (wnt, wônt)

    v. want·ed, want·ing, wants

    v.tr.

    1.

    a. To desire greatly; wish for:

    Good luck.

    For some people it is that easy and for others it is so very hard. I really don't want to smoke but I personally don't think it can be stated as easily as you have put it, although I do get where you are coming from. From my perspective, to say it is about want doesn't cut it because for years I wanted to not smoke. Laws of addiction are crazy. I am fortunate to have attempted quitting before so I know the pitfalls and I know that the addiction will try to pull me back in whatever way it can. I just wasn't expecting the thoughts I have had today. I have had cigarettes in my coat pocket from the day and hour I quit - I have at times not had my coat with me but all day today my coat has been with me because it's so cold and I have not smoked. Yes, there does have to be a want there but it isn't as simple as that - if it was then everybody would be non smokers.

  • good point mark. Its a crazy messed up addiction in so many ways.

    I, like you, am trying to make some sense of it all and as long as we keep talking and sharing, we will be victorious.

    take care and good luck

  • Call it a monster, call it a demon, call it your inner junkie, whatever - we all have that voice inside at one point or another. It nags away at you. 'It's not a question of if you'll cave, just when' it whispers. 'You've done really well so you know you can stop again whenever' it wheedles. 'I wonder if I'd still like the taste of a fag now?' it says. 'But I liked my old smoking life better!' it whines.

    That persistent little voice can say any number of things. I found mine got particularly whiny when the initial thrill of quitting wore off, and being smoke free started to feel more normal. I started to 'miss' smoking, and think about it such a lot - not in the sense of powerful craving, just a constant presence in my mind. Thought I'd go nuts.

    But you HAVE to power through this. It will pass, like all the other stages pass, and you'll be so glad you didn't listen to that voice. Keep using all the tools you've used to get you this far. Hang tough.

    I'd recommend you read the link in my signature!

    Helen x

  • Hey buddy, I hear you loud and clear and what sums this up is what Magic stated above, its hte *want* you now need to control.

    Some reffer to it as a demon or nicotine monster but, it is the *want* you need to assses and deal with.

    I have had this through last 10 days, I know its not the craving its that *want* to deal with this is to deal with the craving, try to carry on as normal and forget about it! i knows its easier said than done, as I am there with you!

    for 4 weeks i was grand, strong, did not want then it just hit me from no where. This is the addiction part, your brain i still associating habits,stress mode and *WANTS* that cig, its powerful!

    you know your doing strong, you know why you quit, sit back, breath, its tiring i know but soon your brain will associate these situations with none cigs. if that makes sense. i have been reading and reading and reading last few days on my own behaviour and where does this come from, its easy for someone to say stop thinking about it unless your in that state of mind where it over powers you.

    It will go, mine are subsiding greatly but still there, i know i will never smoke again but it wont stop me thinking of them and enjoying the smell. My brain will just have to get used to it!!

    keep it up mate, you are doing so so good. do you not think maybe coming of the champix a bit early has anything to do with it ?

  • Well said dj. I totally agree. Soemone else on this forum always says that they want to be a non smoker more than they want a cig. Again, it comes down to the want. i just dont think we can carry on blaming a mythical thing for our thoughts.

    I know that we are all addicted, but after the first few days, if you havent come to terms with the fact that you will not smoke again, the want will always be there.

    Please, please dont think i have this cracked and i hope that it doesnt come across that way. Believe me, I am shitting myself about getting caught out.... yikes! - i am just trying to look at this from all angles.

    we are a good team you know, us lot.

  • It's all about covering angels and being prepared for every eventuality. I think you may be right Derek, that it is to do with coming off Champix early. On the flip side tho, Champix was making me feel worse than I am now so I have got rid of some physical symptoms. Each minute will bring me closer to losing mental symptoms. What is encouraging is that none of the triggers are there. The smell of a cig makes me want to be violently ill. The though of loosing my breath and having a mad cough is unbearable. There is absolutely no desire to smoke. I am still determined that this is the quit and I know that there are plenty of bumps in the road. I just find that I can cope better when I can understand the reasoning behind things and the best way for that is to talk.

  • "advice needed"

    Good afternoon Mark basically you've answered your own question it's the disease/addiction which making you think this way. Myself I was fortunate with my quit as I'm also a recovering alcoholic of 22 years standing so I basically new what to expect in my nicotine quit. There is a saying within a circle organisation I attend (no prizes for guessing which) which goes "alcoholism is the only disease that tells you that you haven't got it. The exact same applies to stopping smoking. We're not actually trying to stop smoking what we really are trying to do is break the addiction. Hence that feeling of lethargy not the correct word to describe that feeling of "is all this suffering really worth it,lets take the easy way out; have a fag immediatley springs to mind. It's the nature of the beast unfortunately but fortunately it does get better I cannot say when but let the testimony of other members of the the forum be the proof.

    All the best with your quit it does get better and YES it is worth it.

    Michael a.k.a:-lefoy123 in Glasgow

  • You've got the right attitude Mark, keep truckin along, tomorrow or in a few days, you will look at this thread and be so grateful to have talked it out and to have stuck with your quit. Our challenges hit us in different ways, sometimes massive craves, sometimes sweet whisperings beckoning us to just have one more teeny little puff, and sometimes maybe just a little thought trying to confuse us and our intentions. They are all hurdles to cross and luckily it gets easier the further along we get with our quit. You are totally gonna do this, I can tell!!

  • Again, thanks guys. One of the traits that I have is that I will always ask questions that I know the answer to but I don't realise at the time that I know the answer. Its only through discussing (and reading back in the case of the forum) that I realise I already knew the answerand had in fact already said it. It just helps me to have it all laid out and if, like this thread, it starts a healthy discussion then it has done some good. Thanks guys.

  • Well said dj. I totally agree. Soemone else on this forum always says that they want to be a non smoker more than they want a cig. Again, it comes down to the want. i just dont think we can carry on blaming a mythical thing for our thoughts.

    I know that we are all addicted, but after the first few days, if you havent come to terms with the fact that you will not smoke again, the want will always be there.

    Please, please dont think i have this cracked and i hope that it doesnt come across that way. Believe me, I am shitting myself about getting caught out.... yikes! - i am just trying to look at this from all angles.

    we are a good team you know, us lot.

    Hey Magic, dont think about getting caught out just deal with it when it happens IF it happens, my sis and mother never had that so i guess in my family im the fxxxed up one haha...

  • Mark, your doing great mate, really really good! it wil ltake a few days to settle down i think, this is the problem with aids as posed to cold turkey we have to go through it twice lol.

    hugs for ya you can do this ((x))

  • Mark, don't give in - I've experienced similar - I think my first 4 weeks were pretty crap and since then its been better. I tell myself every day I'm not going to smoke today and don't think about tomorrow or next week.

    I hope my quit sticks but I know I'll have to be wary even in years to come. Thats the thing with this addiction, you're always going to be an ex-smoker, not a non-smoker and only ever one puff from going back. So don't do it - it will pass so just try and stay with it.

  • Dont do it!!!

    Iv got to this stage every time Iv quit and given in to it telling myself it was easy to quit and that I can do it again.:confused:

    Within a week you will be smoking the number you were before and by the end of that week you will be kicking yourself and saying you have to quit again.

    You have come so far,dont glory about the fags remember the horrible things about it and why you gave up in the first place.Get over this little hicup and you will away again............:D

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