It's hard today

Having a hard time today. I think it's because I'm still angry and also for the loss of the machine. How I wish it was bedtime and I could get this day over. I'm not giving up though I know it won't get any easier if I have to do it again. I 'don't' want a cigarette and I don't have any because I smoked them all before I quit. Don't know what I do want. Wish I was able to go to sleep during the day but I never have so I suppose the hours will just drag on. I wish I could get rid of the taste in my mouth. I had it for the 12 days I wasn't smoking and it's back again. Its a taste that makes me think about cigarettes but I know they don't taste like that. I tried everything to get rid of it last time and only alcohol worked. Far too early for that :-) One addiction is enough!!!! I must have been on here 20 times today checking the messages. I can't get motivated to do anything at all. Lets hope everyone else is having a better day.

6 Replies

  • Hi Una

    The first few days and even weeks can be very testing....

    I myself found it quite difficult to start with, but I found reading old posts enlightening.

    They help in 2 ways...

    1. They help educate you with regards to your quit and

    2. They act as a distraction when all you can think about is smoking.

    There are some heart warming accounts on here from people who went through exactly what you are going through now and they have come through the otherside, showing if you educate yourself so as to know what to expect and you keep at it, you will get there....

    Good luck

  • Hi John, This is my 2nd quit. First one lasted 12 days and was a lot easier than today. I got straight back on the horse :-)

    I must have read hundreds of messages and I do find it helps to know others have felt the same as I do now. I am so thankful I have this forum to come to.

  • Rant, rave, find distractions... Do anything to not smoke! Let's get through the day! My anger is startinmg to show up, buit nowhere near peak levels yet. Stay strong Una, revioew your reasons for quitting! Here for u,


  • Oh Una, I am sorry you're feeling so rubbish. And the weather isn't helping, it's so bloody miserable. My mood is absolutely crapulous too.

    I read about your machine breaking and everything - such a blow - but it's just amazing that you're back on the wagon straight away, you should stop for a moment and take stock and BE PROUD that you're showing such strength of character.

    It seems to me that a lot of your unhappiness at the moment is because of isolation. Would you consider doing something new, that gets you out of the house and into contact with other people? A night class, volunteering, join a choir or something? Loneliness is a killer for creating craves - remember HALT (Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired) - and taking some positive action to help with those feelings might really make the quit an easier process to deal with.

    Anyway... I really hope you start to feel better soon. Stay strong, because it's all really worth it in the end.

    Helen x

  • LOL, thought I'd stumbled into an AA meeting. HALT Oh yes, my ex husband was an alcoholic so I know a lot about that. That's why he became an ex :-)

    I haven't shouted at the computer yet. Still time though Vike.

    I have hunted for something to get me out of the house but haven't come up with anything. Wouldn't mind doing a 3rd year Japanese course but I can only find 2nd year. Don't think I'll join a choir after 50 years of smoking. Doing courses is ok but I go to NZ twice a year so spend at least 4 months away. My son pays :-) I'm only miserable when I come home. Not that I think of this as home.

    Last week I was happy most of the time. I kept thinking of all the things I could buy with the money I would save. Now I have to go 6 months without smoking to buy another machine. Every morning I woke up and thought another £10 not given to the government. It made me feel good. I was going to buy a laptop at the end of the month for my embroidery and knitting software because I use a Mac and I had to put windows on it. With a windows laptop I could take it to bed and then I wouldn't associate it with smoking.

    Another couple of hours and it will be one whole day. Yippee

  • Going good now. I feel better than I have all day. And you?

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