I am new here, I found the site by looking for some inspiration to stay a non smoker. I want to be a non smoker but I also want to have a cigarette right now. I know that if I have one I am unlikely to leave it at just one, so I am hanging on by the skin of my teeth and not rushing out to buy a pack.
I am feeling somewhat cheated right now, my taste hasn't improved, I don't feel any better, I don't look any better, in fact I feel I look worse because I have put a stone on. the weight gain depresses me and thus I eat more.
I am even dreaming I have started smoking again and in my dreams I am really angry with myself that I started again, however instead of feeling relief it was a dream, it has started cravings like I never knew possible.
Until now I could not believe how easy it was to stop smoking, it has been a breeze until recently. I have been very annoyed with myself that I didnt try to stop before now. I smoked for 28 years avg 30 a day and never really tried before. Things are stressful at home right now so maybe this is why I miss it more.
I stopped the Allan Carr way and yes of course everything makes total sense to me, the cost, my health the smell etc but it doesn't stop me wanting a ciggie and wondering how I am going to go without one for the rest of my life. Mad isnt it? If the weight gain doesn't stop then I feel I am going to be seriously at risk of going back.
Phew that was a proper whinge for my first post. I am sorry I don't mean to be all doom and gloom, it's a frame of mind right now that I hope someone else has been through and can give me some hope it will pass.