11 weeks and finding it really hard now

Hello everyone,

I am new here, I found the site by looking for some inspiration to stay a non smoker. I want to be a non smoker but I also want to have a cigarette right now. I know that if I have one I am unlikely to leave it at just one, so I am hanging on by the skin of my teeth and not rushing out to buy a pack.

I am feeling somewhat cheated right now, my taste hasn't improved, I don't feel any better, I don't look any better, in fact I feel I look worse because I have put a stone on. the weight gain depresses me and thus I eat more.

I am even dreaming I have started smoking again and in my dreams I am really angry with myself that I started again, however instead of feeling relief it was a dream, it has started cravings like I never knew possible.

Until now I could not believe how easy it was to stop smoking, it has been a breeze until recently. I have been very annoyed with myself that I didnt try to stop before now. I smoked for 28 years avg 30 a day and never really tried before. Things are stressful at home right now so maybe this is why I miss it more.

I stopped the Allan Carr way and yes of course everything makes total sense to me, the cost, my health the smell etc but it doesn't stop me wanting a ciggie and wondering how I am going to go without one for the rest of my life. Mad isnt it? If the weight gain doesn't stop then I feel I am going to be seriously at risk of going back.

Phew that was a proper whinge for my first post. I am sorry I don't mean to be all doom and gloom, it's a frame of mind right now that I hope someone else has been through and can give me some hope it will pass.

20 Replies

  • Hi Jo

    You are not whingeing or moaning anymore than most of us have done all the way through.

    I think you are doing amazingly well, 11 weeks is fab, and I am way behind you as Im only in week 5, but I have found it really tough from day 3 and have had terrible cravings, mood swings, depression as well as eating far too much and yes most of us girls and guys have gained weight.

    From what I have read (which thanks to this forum has been loads) the 3rd month is the hardest of all, and I am dreading getting there !!!!

    Just aim for your 100 days. Have you got a quit counter, it really helps me. Every time you log on it tells me how many days,hours,minutes you have quit, how many cigs you have not smoked and how much you have saved, it does help to keep me focused. If you want the link let me know.

    I am sure you will find a great benefit by joining this forum, everyone is so helpful.

    Keep going and well done


  • Hello Jo

    Firstly 11 weeks is bloody wonderful, hell I've only done 8 weeks so you are doing so well my love.

    Let's face facts, ALL smokers have to give up at some stage because it will kill us, so my theory is I may as well do it on my terms than let some junior doctor with spots TELL me I have too.

    Look sweetheart this is so hard, everyone of us on here will tell you that. I now have depression, I have spots, I've gained 1.5 stone and frankly I'm a miserable old trout but I'm a miserable old trout who has stopped smoking for 8 weeks because of sheer will power.

    Jo you are better than me because you have stopped for 11 weeks, and you should be very very proud of yourself. I'm not going to tell you not to smoke, however do you honestly want to go through the last 11 weeks again? because if you start smoking again there will be a stage you will have to start again from scratch.

    You can do this, and we will help you.


  • Welcome to the forum Jo!

    Have a look at these:

    Terrible threes

    Another good one

    Hope it helps! You'll feel better soon, promise!

  • 3 month issues

    Hi Hun u need to off load, thats what this site is about....I wish this site had been here last time I tried stop 3 1/2 years ago....... from experience 3 months is a brick wall..... try and get over it and you will be fine..... now I am forwarned I aim to get over that barrier. good luck and keep logging in sue xx

  • Wow, thank you everyone for you kind words of welcome, how nice it is to know that there are people who just "get it".

    I have only one smoker really close by who thinks I am doing great. Aside from that I hear no real words of encouragement anymore cos they are all non smokers, cant see what all the fuss is about and think I am well over it by now lol. I have to admit tho, this time 2 weeks ago I thought I was well over it too ! How wrong I was.

    Well fancy that about 3's - who would have thought it.

    I would love to have one of those quit counters Dee (loving the username lol)

    Unfortunately I havent been able to put the money I have saved from not buying cigs to one side cos I had a financial crisis that has robbed me of all my spare cash, such a shame cos I was spending £230 a month which would buy me a lot of clothes lol But on the plus side, at least I now have the spare money to ease the financial crisis, i would be in proper trouble without it I guess.

    Thank you all for taking the time to welcome me, I fell a lot less isolated now :-)

  • Hi Jo

    Welcome to the site and RESPECT lady for getting to 11 weeks on your own....without everyone here I would never have made 11 days...

    Everything you have mentioned we are all heard before so it is just the quit and NOT you. You are amazingly strong.

    Congratulations for getting to 11 weeks....I sincerely hope I wiill get there too.

    Stay strong, you are an inspiration.

    Lorna xx

  • Hello and welcome, I am glad you read about the threes. They are real are they not. While I cannot guarantee that the quit will get smoother after this phase I can only say that mine sure did.

    Here is a link for the quit counter it is a free download


  • Hey Jo (where you going with that gun in your hand?- sorry, old Hendrix ref!!), good to see you here. I'm a bit behind you in quit days and am sorry you're not feeling so great. But, the fact is you are actually doing incredibly! 11 weeks? My gawd, that's some impressive stuff!! You should, regardless of not feeling super shiny fabulosa ra ra groovy, be so proud of yourself! That is just brilliant.

    I am sure this is just a blip on your quit horizon, and probably just a bit of a 'feeling down' time- might have felt pants even if you were still smoking, who knows?- and you can get past it without reaching for a stinky death stick.

    Stay strong, keep posting, ask for support and you will get it. XXXX

  • Hi Jo :)

    11 weeks that's great well done you but sorry you're having a tough time just now

    This I think is a case of the terrible threes but you'll soon be through yhem and then it really will get better again for you just hang in there OK and don't worry about the weight that will come off again once your body has healed and your metabolism goes back to normal which it will it just takes time

    So yes what you're feeling is normal for lots of us but it does get easier and better Promise

    Oh and don't worry about having a whinge we really don't mind and most of us have done it anyway

    Below is my standard welcome and advice post which I try and give all new members

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathising with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    This link is good for the psychological part of quittinghttp://whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Symptoms.html

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here OK



  • Hi Jo

    I can do nothing but agree with everything thats been said by the others, just to emphasize that what you have done so far is amazing long may it continue, there is no way i would have got this far without the support from this site whether it be a moan, a joke, just some banter or letting off steam (whixch incidently i apologies for in advance of future transgressions lol).

    So keep coming back cos everyone is really friendly. well some of them, well one or two of them, .......occaisionally .....once in a while!!!!! lol

  • Jo,

    welcome to the NSD forums.

    If it helps? I went through a bit of a time shortly after i came off my patches (@ 10 weeks), and it was tough going, i had a bit of self doubt beyond which i wasn't prepared for and isolated myself off from folk quite a bit too, i wasn't feeling that 'success' feeling, and being honest felt more than a little down.


    Its just a passing thing, and you do regain ground on your quit soon enough.

    I'm feeling much much more positive of late.. so definitely my advice to you is to ride through this bit.. yeah its a bit tougher going, but you are up for this challenge, and you will pass it too.

    Chat on here any time, and ask any questions you want.. post anything you feel you need to vent to get you through any tough moments, and you never know, you might just find other folk have been through much the same.

    Good luck.. and hey?! 11 weeks is a really good achievement so far you know? BE PROUD OF THAT!!!!

  • Hello Jo

    Hi Jo - and welcome.

    I just echo what everyone else has said - but mainly that 11 weeks is brilliant! Keep at it.

    You seem to be around the same stage I was at when I had a real problem. I felt like crap and really couldn't focus. I was quite sceptical about the dreaded 3s - but not now.

    It seems hard - but keep at it. You will come through and feel so much better.

  • Hi everyone,

    Wow this is such a supportive friendly group, it's fab.

    Well not long after I posted my post I got even more fed up about the weight and ate even more. I really wanted a ciggie, the cravings were the worst ever.

    I then had a brainwave - I can hear you all laughing and groaning at the same time - I would go back to smoking cos ciggies and a coffee would to be my 'snacks', I would then lose the weight, plus the extra bit I was carrying anyway and then give up again so that when I put on the weight I will be an average weight for my height. I knew people would be disappointed in me but not being able to fit into my clothes is making me feel very depressed.

    So I hatched a plan. A smoking visitor went to use the loo, I robbed a fag out of their packet and hid it until everyone left the house. Can you believe it ! ? I am 42 years old and I was reduced to stealing ciggies !

    I made myself a nice cup of coffee, found a lighter and took it along with my stolen booty into the lounge. I couldn't wait to feel that 'ahhhh' feeling. My hands were shaking when I lit it, I took the first deep puff and nearly died there and then on the spot.

    I could not get over how horrible it tasted. It did not taste anything like I remembered ciggies tasting - there was absolutely no similarity whatsoever. This was a proper, full on chemical taste hitting the back of my throat. As a hair dresser I really have some horrible chemical smells coming my way but nothing has matched this foul taste.

    I tried very hard to get one puff that tasted how I wanted it to taste but it didnt happen. What did happen was a massive feeling of feeling very poorly. My head started to swim, my hearing was fuzzy and my eyes couldn't focus too well. I put the ciggie out and had to wait for the feeling to pass (a good 10 minutes) before I could get up and go and chuck the nipped fag down the loo.

    So thats what I did at the weekend, not good is it but I do now at least know for sure that they never tasted nice to begin no matter how much you think they do.

    I have now started a proper diet lol

  • ahh glad to see you ditched that smoke down the loo.

    Having that one taste may serve to help you realise that you really don't need cigarettes in your life in order to be happy.

    Check out this post in one of the other forums on here though, it details about junkie thinking, and its quite relevant to what you wrote with your reasoning for having as smoke in the first place.. read and digest, its a rather good post in all honesty.


  • So I hatched a plan. A smoking visitor went to use the loo, I robbed a fag out of their packet and hid it until everyone left the house. Can you believe it ! ? I am 42 years old and I was reduced to stealing ciggies !

    Hahahaha, that is so funny. Cod, just like being back at school.

    Thank you Jo for the laugh.

    If I ever crack and nick a roll up from my OH then I hope it too tastes as disgusting as your stolen one (still chuckling at the image) and is a massive let down.

    It was a very risky plan on many levels, but one that has reinforced your quit and helped mine too..... cheers

    *still chuckling*

  • Hi Jo

    That so made me laugh. Well done for firstly admiting it, and secondly for putting it out. Look this is not easy and I would love to try a ciggie to see what it tastes like but I don't trust myself.

    Get over Christmas and then we are going to start a fat club social group on here and you can join with the rest of us lardy ex smokers.

    Giving you a hug (now no pinching sweets from small children:D).

  • Hiay everyone,

    How are you all doing?

    I have just re read my post about trying to get that ciggie to taste how I wanted it to taste and couldn't. Aside from the massive weight gain, one of the biggest things was still liking the smell of a freshly lit ciggie. THAT is what I wanted to taste but it just wasn't happening lol. It was absolutely horrible, probably the worse things I have ever tasted in my life.

    I am now getting to dislike the smell of a freshly lit fag, so i cant see it being long before I ask my visitors to stop smoking and i am pleased that it will be for smell reasons as opposed to me finding it hard not to be tempted, so I think I am making progress.

    I am very pleased it tasted horrible cos i am feeling totally fine about quitting again now, the dreams and cravings have gone again and I am sitting here marvelling at how easy I have found the whole stopping smoking thing haha. Its mad that only 4 weeks ago i was fit to kill lol And of course it means I have stopped for 15 weeks and and half way into month 4 - I am amazed.

    I got the stop smoking counter thing, It comes on every day and reminds me of how well I am doing, its a fab little tool

    How is everyone doing? Was Christmas hard for anyone, I was expecting it to be but it was ok.

    Diet starts Monday, have to do something to try and shift this 2 stone and stop stuffing my face 24/7.

    No good having 'managed to quit smoking but died of obesity' on my headstone eh lol

  • Hi Jo. I've been off the forum for a few weeks and have just read this thread for the first time. Your post about the nicked ciggie and your attempts to get that "taste" really helped me (and made me chuckle :D you have a great way with words). We've all been tempted, and its so reassuring to hear it tasted awful.

    Totally get what you say about liking the smell of a freshly lit cig. I'm really hoping that I will at some point start not liking that smell. It feels like I'm being held back abit by that.

    Thanks for your posts - you are an inspiration to people like me who are a couple of months behind you.

  • Jo

    welcome to NSD. I was lucky enough to come across this site very early in my quit, and without it there is no question that i would have started again so making 11 weeks is an AMAZING achievement. Different people are affected in all sorts of difference ways through their quit but there is one thing we all need and that is support so dont be afraid to come here and let off steam EVERYONE understands how hard it is.

    Once again well done and hang in there

  • Hi Jo

    Thanks for the post...I so know that feeling wanting a cig and believing I would have that lovely taste I remember so well...good to know I would not get it!!!!

    Glad you found us all, we do try to help each other...bit of a mad band really but we are all mad together.

    Good to have you on board....xx

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