anger issues

Today (day 4) hasn't started well. Been going through paperwork and not got anywhere really and had a couple of frustrating calls. Found out my daughter has exceeded her call allowance on phone gggrrr:mad: after my repeatedly reminding her not to do it. Money is a huge source of stress for me (and a big reason for my quit).

For 2 pins I could have picked up some cigs. Started to feel deprived, like I need 1 to keep me going. Is the stress to do with not smoking or just life? I don't know. :( I just saw someone - a young person outside their house, smiling and lighting a cigarette. I need help to deal with stress I think :(

15 Replies

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  • You don't need anything. Smoking isn't magically gonna make any of the stresses go away. Just breathe deep, relax & keep going.

    In a few years that smiling, young person you saw will likely be coughing their guts up, and forking out £10+ per pack for the privilege.

  • Yes I know that I really do. Having a difficult day today - compared to last 3 days which were quite easy.

  • Hi JoC,

    Hope you feel a little less stressed, deep breaths eh.

    Not worth spoiling your quit for, as well as me losing a smoking buddy.

    We are doing well getting to day four, see you on day five.

    Joanie X

  • JoC,

    I have made it to week four, and the anger only recently ceased a bit for me. It was so bad at times that I would hold grudges over the simplest things for hours and hours, letting my blood boil and the stress erupt. I look back and am almost scared at how angry I was at times. The good news, is that things are better now, it has been over four days without an anger spell, my new record. I dealt with it all by going for walks, drinking lots of cold water and listening to relaxation technique stuff I found on the net. I truly felt alone and blamed everything on not smoking, but fought through it and now things don't bother me as much. Stay strong, it is temprary, and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

    Vike

  • Same here to be truthful. Have had some particularly weak moments when I could have cracked and amazed at how angry I really was. But you know, like I did that it will pass. 3 mins max. And each craving is one less craving to have - they do become less and they do become weaker and weaker. I'm only on my fourth week but already I have more energy; don't stink and laugh in the face of ppl lighting up.

    Believe. You can do it too. All this anger will pass. Honest!

    AN

  • Hiya Angry peeps.. When i was a smoker i hardly ever got angry i didnt have the puff. i would just quietly fume with a malevolent grunt or a black look(can i say that) i'll change it to a dark one. i was often feeling like this and the world deserved it...... Now im a non smoker boy do i get angry, but its different ,its clean and sharp and thunders like a mountain stream when the snows have melted.. i find myself roaring at situations like when things dont work for no reason and only sometimes. i get angry cos my mums old and on her last legs i get righteously indignant when i hear politicians lying through their teeth boy do i get angry ,...but this time around now that i dont smoke im getting my puff back and getting really pro-acive and huffing and puffing and blowing castles down. i love my anger it shows me where im disappointed its my best freind now that smoking has gone out out of my life. Anger is now my best friend ever, not anice friend not a bit nice but so loyal and genuine, and together we are taking action not acting anger out mind, just taking action, in cool smooth ways like writing a letter spelling it all out, or saying no when the ex comes a mithering. Im much nicer now that i dont smoke sitting fuming denying life and how much a lot of the world is pooh.Im getting my puff back and hitting it back, thwack their it goes. slammed into a wall and melted, the cloud its leaving under has more substance than itever had.

    Mashx

  • Jo,

    I do empathize, I really do :(

    Anger and hate is the worst part of the quit for me, and I don't have any answers, even my doctor asked me why I am putting so much pressure on myself, great excuse for continuing to smoke NOT :mad: i really don't know what to do, but I don't want to continue smoking. But I don't want to feel how I am feeling inside, cos I am alienating myself from everybody. That is not a moan btw, just how I feel right now, and I wanted you to know you are not alone. We will work it out (sounds like the Beatles I know) and everyone says it gets better???? Sure they are right.

    So lets hold tight hey,

    Love to you,

    Zoe xxxx

  • Thank you all for your lovely supportive replies. I love this forum, I really do. Its gives me encouragement to hear from you peeps who have been there and dealt with it (and not lost your sense of humour) :D

    I did cave yesterday - so I guess a false start but I haven't given up giving up if you see what I mean. Back on track to day :)

  • Hiya Angry peeps.. When i was a smoker i hardly ever got angry i didnt have the puff. i would just quietly fume with a malevolent grunt or a black look(can i say that) i'll change it to a dark one. i was often feeling like this and the world deserved it...... Now im a non smoker boy do i get angry, but its different ,its clean and sharp and thunders like a mountain stream when the snows have melted.. i find myself roaring at situations like when things dont work for no reason and only sometimes. i get angry cos my mums old and on her last legs i get righteously indignant when i hear politicians lying through their teeth boy do i get angry ,...but this time around now that i dont smoke im getting my puff back and getting really pro-acive and huffing and puffing and blowing castles down. i love my anger it shows me where im disappointed its my best freind now that smoking has gone out out of my life. Anger is now my best friend ever, not anice friend not a bit nice but so loyal and genuine, and together we are taking action not acting anger out mind, just taking action, in cool smooth ways like writing a letter spelling it all out, or saying no when the ex comes a mithering. Im much nicer now that i dont smoke sitting fuming denying life and how much a lot of the world is pooh.Im getting my puff back and hitting it back, thwack their it goes. slammed into a wall and melted, the cloud its leaving under has more substance than itever had.

    Mashx

    Can I just say how impressive, amazing, and powerful this post is? I loved it, and I've re-read it several times.

  • anger and irritability

    @Dgee Not quite so sure myself! Anger is not an emotion that I want to experience too often.

    If Mash is saying that he feels emotionally liberated then that's fab, but having mountains of anger is not.

    I have to say that I'm much less irritable since I quit, how bizarre is that :confused: Anyone else?

  • Smoking dulls the senses - that's why in times of stress or grief or basically flipping our lids we reached for a cigarette. It did its job very successfully too .. until the immediate effects of the nicotene wore off. Then the lack of nicotene for smokers causes withdrawal resulting in stress.. catch 22 and difficult cycle to break.

    It's that instant dulling of the emotions, whatever they may be, that disappears when we don't smoke.

    I don't know if I'm more irritable or not dotdot .. feel nervy a lot of the time but it is probably nervous energy that I need to channel through exercise.

    Hey, well done on reaching your 1st month! :)

  • Thank you all for your lovely supportive replies. I love this forum, I really do. Its gives me encouragement to hear from you peeps who have been there and dealt with it (and not lost your sense of humour) :D

    I did cave yesterday - so I guess a false start but I haven't given up giving up if you see what I mean. Back on track to day :)

    Sorry to read about the cave, JoC....but it's great to read that you're back on track - onwards and upwards.

    If you aren't aware of HALT (Hunger Anger Lonely Tired) then it may be useful to look at this aid to preventing relapsing when dealing with the recovery process of quitting smoking. I've linked to a blog here but there are any number of different sites on the web that could give you more information.

    Cav

  • I too have less anger ,irritability, stress since quitting and its because i dont smoke any more and i also acknowledge my anger when its triggered rather than try to sweep it under the carpet by smoking. Acknowledging anger is loving it,and it will get better . deny it and youll hate it which means your ashamed of it( coz were brits) and afraid of it, and thats a definate recipe for keeping it, and it always leaks out somehow. I stand by what I say which is love it , act upon it, dont act it out and pretty soon you'll be a happy bunny.

    Mashx

  • Anger

    If I started smoking again I would fly into the most un controllable rage with myself after going through all the withdrawals etc, so I hope to God I never smoke again but I say to myself every Day I am not smoking today it's less pressure, I am on 10 mg patches now and into my third month of not smoking xx

  • less stressed

    I too feel less stressed just feel fed up and fat. I am working on the weight though. Everyone attempting to give up deserves a big pat on the back. I is not easy and this forum is a great place to vent feelings share experiences and support each other. I dont think I could cope without it now.

    I log on as soon as I get in from work and it gives me a lift to read allyour posts I dont feel alone in my quit.:)

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