Anger management - any tips

[nsd_user663_62376]

Hi all

Day 26 today and I can't believe that I haven't slipped yet. Although not smoking is becoming easier, I seem to feel angry all the time. The slightest thing will set off feelings of anger and resentment. These are the sorts of things I would normally take in my stride.

Any tips for handling the anger?

[nsd_user663_59644]

Such a good question, but in general it does seem that yes indeed we do get a little snappy:(:( (well I did) and I don't have the answer, I did get to the point!........ I used to breath in exhale, and the reply. ......... But the good news is it does settle and our minds revert back to normal, I personally think that it's part of withdrawal process,

How well you are doing

[nsd_user663_62313]

Hiya, I can really identify with your post and I'm with H and T in that it's part of the withdrawal process and that damage limitation, ie. hiding in your house or whatever is appropriate for you is one solution to what is a TEMPORARY phase.

For me, I was so angry that I literally would have murdered anyone or anything that moved! It was horrible and quite a shock to be confronted with the force of these feelings and being able to share it honestly on this forum, and receive understanding and acceptance helped me to navigate these choppy waters - particularly as my black and white thinking made me believe it would be forever.

I don't think it will be forever and we're here to help you ride the storm. I just made sure that I kept out of the way of those I might hurt with a vicious tongue and if I felt tipped over the edge, I'd just explain what was going on.

One more thought, as time goes on I realise that part of my smoking was about 'coping' with certain feelings - or should I say, suppressing them. But they don't just magically go away unless they're expressed (appropriately) so now I'm not smoking I'm having to give room to my anger etc so that it can dissipate and GO.

This will pass and remember to be kind to yourself through this stage.

[nsd_user663_60964]

Kaz, it might help to have some sort of physical outlet for your rage. Do you have a particularly overgrown bit of garden that needs hacking back for example? You know the sort of thing I mean. May as well try to put it to constructive use whilst you have it because as the others have said, it will pass, honestly.

You're not half doing well you know.

[nsd_user663_59642]

Hi, Kaz........your smoking history is very similar to mine and I totally understand the anger thing!

I have found that the best thing is to nip it in the bud. Be constantly aware and on the lookout for situations where you might get frustrated and lose your temper. As soon as you recognise that such a situation is arising, stop doing whatever it is and do something else. Even if it is just a thought of an anger-inducing situation........stop that thought and think of something else, anything at all to put a stop to the thoughts. Just do not let these anger-inducing situations grow into monsters.

Also, I found that by looking at such situations as "attacks" by the nicotine monster I was easier able to deal with them and make them go away because I recognise that they were "tests" to see who was stronger.....me or the nicotine monster.

So it was a two pronged attack from me.......

1) look out for the situations arising and nip them in the bud and

2) look at the situations as "attacks" by the nicotine monster and know that you are a far superior being to that stinky little idiot.

Plus, of course, use the forum to let off steam/get things off your chest/have a good old moan/scream..........we've all done it and we all understand!

PS Almost forgot....as others have said.......this phase of the quitting process will pass and with every situation that you "win" you will be strengthened and the nicotine monster will be weakened. Every time you beat such a situation, it'll be another one marked up to you and you can visualise the nicotine monster slinking back to his stinky hovel knowing that he has failed yet again...always a pleasing thought!

Val

[nsd_user663_62083]

All advice above is good stuff. Being able to recognise the anger is a good thing but you have to learn not to feed the anger so walking away from situations where you feel the rage building is a good idea. My problem was the stress I was under at work. I should have had a couple of days off. My real rage only lasted a week but I am more irritated by people now but I find it easier to walk away. Exercise like gardening, boxing even dancing are good ways to channel that anger and leave you in a better mood x

[nsd_user663_61728]

I found the thing that made me angriest was myself getting angry at stupid little things. I was mad at myself for letting stuff get to me and once I realised that it was easier to deal with. But it is hard and everyone else is right, all you can do is wait for it to pass whilst maintaining effective crises management i.e. avoid situations you know will frustrate you.

But do not panic, it will pass. Hope that you have a calm weekend! x

[nsd_user663_40088]

Its not the anger as such, its more you have lost your coping tool. Anger or anxiety used to be an excuse for a smoke, now you can go that as well makes you angry so you find you just flip out.

Personally I had to address what it was that was making me angry and I found it was actually nothing to do with quitting smoking it was genuine things in my life. If they are things you cant change then you need to find new outlets to manage them. I chose a Bath and a herbal tea with relaxation music. 15 minutes and it all seemed all so unimportant again

[nsd_user663_62392]

find something to do that will exert that little bit of anger, turn that extra emotion and energy into something positive

better out than in

i usually go for a walk if i ever find myself getting annoyed in any situation, put the old mp3 player in and i am good to go

LLMMx3MRi0s

[nsd_user663_62376]

Many thanks to all, some excellent advice there. Now just to get through the working week without upsetting anyone .....

[nsd_user663_2681]

All the best for this week xx

[nsd_user663_62294]

Hi Kaz, I hope you are coping better now, the advice on this thread is great. I feel that's it's like I'm looking for an excuse to fail and smoke. 'I get angry/sad/upset/stressed and NEED to have a fag' kind of thoughts. It does pass and as some-one else suggested, looking at those moments as the Nicotine controlling your thoughts will help. Keep strong x