Anger has reached breaking point for me

Hi All.

I want to start by saying i'm not a person to go looking for sympathy or to be passed the tissue box but i'm going through hell.

This last entire week has seen my anger and moods reach epic per-portions and i can sadly say it's affecting my relationship now. My girlfriend is already seriously ill and has her own problems to contend with and i'm not helping.

I must confess i have come very close to smoking on a couple of occasions but managed to hold out as i don't want to throw another quit away. I can't keep doing this as the strain it puts on myself and others is truly unbearable The thing is i'm not really craving which i suppose is good news but it's the other side of this quit i can't handle. I'm short tempered and always seem to be waiting to snap.

I've been weighing up the options in my head(like you do)

1) Don't blow this quit now after all the hard work you have gone through to reach the 6 week mark.

2) Stop hurting the ones you love, You are making there lives a misery and yours,so have a fag. So what if it leads to another one and so.

3) I have major issues going on in my life and quitting now is not good timing.

These are the 3 main questions that keep on circling my thoughts. I pick one but the next day my thoughts change again.

I even started to cut down my food intake last week and went for moderate walks but that went straight out of the window the last two days.As i said earlier i'm hardly craving but my emotions are going through the roof.

I'm under it

:mad:

11 Replies

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  • Mornin Rogue, well first of all , dont u be usin no Snus :D

    Seriously tho mate , please dont smoke , you are only a cupla days ahead of me and you have done so well, u said you have been going for walks ?? well continue these , for one u will walk the anger off hopefully, and second it will shift the extra pounds we are accumilating hehe :) you are doing great we are both into our 6th week and its took guts too get here so keep fighting , it will pass in time its got too get better xx

  • Hang in there, keep moving forward, no point in giving up now when you know you'll have to start the quit all over again. Addictions serve a purpose, they fill voids that we have and the healing process is not always easy and emotions of all kinds will surface. You will get through this rogue, no doubt about it. You're doing all the right things... keep taking long walks, walk of the anger, take deep breaths, surround yourself with nice things, and try to think of positive things..... anything that can warm your heart is a go, it will help you stay calm. You've most likely smoked for many, many years..... this may take a bit of time you know..... it is well worth it. For some it's craves, some suffer from physical issues, some have depression, some gain tons of weight, and some experience anger...... it sucks but you'll come out of it like most successful quitters.... happy! Happy to have beat this addiction and to get your life back. Best of luck to you, please stick with your quit x

  • Rogue,

    Like Scousemum and Bella I'd like you to dig deeper and stick this road out.

    Pretty much pushed for time here in my real world....but is it possible that you have Nico Demon sitting on your shoulder whispering and lobbying large against your quit? Everything else to do with your quit is, as you say, going swimmingly, and it only seems that lacking is the final switch of perspective that will take you from the stressful situation to seeing and walking towards the 'light at the end of the tunnel'.

    Keep on keepin' on,

    Cav

  • Hi Rogue

    You're dealing with some crappy stuff in your life at the mo so have you considered that how you're feeling might not just be down to quitting? Stress is a nasty thing and will effect people in nasty ways so it might be worth having a chat with your GP - just a thought :)

    One of the hardest parts of quitting for me was learning how to live as a non smoker and learning how to cope with each little crisis or mood without automatically reaching for a ciggie. I took up gardening, started going for bike rides etc. and slowly but surely my coping strategies no longer had smoking attached to them.

    It takes time to learn to live differently so stick at it - you're doing grand :D

  • Having a smoke is not going to solve the problems and will only make you feel even worse. It could well be that your anger isn't half as bad as you think it is. Have you tried speaking to your girlfriend about it, and apologizing for being in such a sh*tty mood? What does she have to say about all this?

    Cut yourself a bit of slack. You are going through a life-changing event and if that means being crabby, angry, depressed, or whatever, then try to accept that it's a temporary situation and that your moods will stabilize soon enough.

    You could try holding your tongue and go punch a pillow if the going gets tough, or you could simply say "I'm, being a big jerk because I stopped smoking and it's not as easy as I thought it was going to be. Sorry for yelling at you!" :D

    My point is, you need to allow yourself to be in a mood, but you also need to let others around you know that you're going through a tough time. It will get easier faster if you allow yourself to be upset and express yourself.

    Alex.

  • Thanks all for the kind responses and suggestions.

    My girlfriend is a alcoholic of 23 years or so and over the last 6 months she has deteriorated before my eyes. I knew she had a drink problem but never really knew how bad. The lengths she would go through to smuggle drink into the house is simply astounding. I tried to look for tell tale signs of booze in the house but never really found it apart from the stuff i allowed her.

    Well you wouldn't expect to find a bottle of Vodka hidden in the washing machine amongst clothes would you ? It was only 2 months ago she told me how severe her problem is.

    Anyway she has only just over over a serious bout of phenomia and now a ultrasound scan has picked up a kidney abnormality. She will need to see a urologist about this problem. Her weight has plummeted and she is always tired.

    It's horrible to she her like this and i've got a horrible feeling i know what it is. :(

    I'm hoping now you can understand why i'm questioning this quits timing as my girlfriend is not stable both mentally and physically.

  • Oh....well that's a plain shit load to be dealing with. My sympathies for the load you're having to carry, Rogue.

    Some how I can't bring myself to state, "well, just get back to smoking"...it's not gonna come from my lips/finger tips. With all the carp that's happening around you in the real World it would be good to get one good outcome through it all...you stopping smoking.

    But I'm not carrying your load, Rogue....although I wouldn't want you to use that as your excuse.

    My thoughts are with you, big guy!

  • Rogue,

    Sounds like a tough time for you and maybe it isn't made any easier by the sudden mood swings of changing your habits. But imagine if you started smoking again .. you would still have everything going on around you and only snatching at instant nicotine highs to get your through it .. momentary relief with the result that you will also have being a smoker to contend with on top of everything else.

    I don't mean to sound doom and gloom re taking up smoking again but I just don't think that it would resolve anything.

    It's an odd time of the quit .. neither with the impetus of the new start or backed by the existence of time between so I suppose it comes down to just not having the action of smoking that will take us on to the next level. As previous posters said see the light and allow yourself to live in the good bits .. and pamper your girlfriend.

    If it's getting too much and you find yourself on the verge, why not get some gum .. that way you won't pick up the smoking habit again.

    Ride it rogue .. you know you can. :)

  • Hi Rogue, sorry to hear you are having a bad time at the moment. You need to look at it this way. The problems you have will not be solved in a week or two. So therefore if you start smoking again because you think it will help then you will be smoking for a long time. It wont help you and you have done so well with your quit up to now. You can always come on here and let off steam we will always support you and not just with the smoking. I hope you dont start again. By the way how do you do a double quote? I dont think you showed me how to do that?

  • Anger has reached breaking point

    Good Evening Rogue, you're most definiteley between a rock and a hard place on this one. You've set out various scenarios on how to deal with your anger issue. My advice is to go with the one which sits most comfortably with you.

    My thoughts on the matter are for you defer your quit to such a time when it would be less stressful for all concerned. However the decision is entirely up to you,that in built feeling we all have for what is right and wrong will guide you on this one.

    i.e:- let your conscience be your guide.

    Michael a.k.a:-Lefoy123 Glasgow

  • Hey Rogue.

    I'm sorry that life is throwing you a bum deal right now. And it sounds like these problems are going to be with you for some while....

    So the question is - what choices do you have?

    Do you want to face them as an angry person or a calm, thoughtful person?

    Do you want to face them as a smoker or a non-smoker?

    Ultimately, there are some things that you can control and some things that you can't. Focus on those things that you can influence. I really wish you and your partner well.

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