day 29

hi all one more day to go and then one month. Been out today to a place called barton marina was cold and grey and windy. Hadnt been in the car ten mins and we end up arguing. Im getting fed up with it we just never seem to agree on anything sooner or later im going to say thats it. Still not lit up though. Im beginning to think whats the point in our marriage just crap. No hols to look forward to nothing ever gets planned. Im not used to this way of life if you can call it that. Do you think age matters i am 8yrs older andmy OH has never been married. Oh i dont know. Rant over. But problem still their.

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  • hi all one more day to go and then one month. Been out today to a place called barton marina was cold and grey and windy. Hadnt been in the car ten mins and we end up arguing. Im getting fed up with it we just never seem to agree on anything sooner or later im going to say thats it. Still not lit up though. Im beginning to think whats the point in our marriage just crap. No hols to look forward to nothing ever gets planned. Im not used to this way of life if you can call it that. Do you think age matters i am 8yrs older andmy OH has never been married. Oh i dont know. Rant over. But problem still their.

    Oooh the company I work for sells cakes to a shop there. The butcher, the baker, the ice cream maker its called lol

    I am no marriage expert but I think you should both maybe talk about things more, maybe tell eachother the problems you're seeing? Neither of you are mind readers so you need to be open about what's frustrating you. After that then you can make a decision or resolve the cracks.

    Good luck x

  • Don't light up

    Hi there Fleetwood.

    Have been lurking for a while and only just registered. But I've been following your posts and have been encouraged by how you are keeping up the quit despite having to deal with some fairly stressful situations.

    Sorry to hear you are struggling with the OH. :(

    I'm no marriage counsellor but I wanted to post to say that whether your relationship is bad at the moment or not, lighting up won't make it better. So don't light up. You are doing great.

    Good luck.

    x

    Niki

  • :cool: Thanks all I do go on a bit dont I. Rochelle we have talked and talked but seem to go round in circles. And yep I passed the butcher, the bake the icecream maker. But as usual we didnt stop for a hot drink. Its a nice place.

    Im defo not about to start smoking, I have been through hell and if i was going to light up I would have done it by now.

    All the best

    Jacqui

    Quit Date: 10.2.12

  • Sorry hun, things sound like they're really shitty for you right now. Hope they get better x

  • Hey,

    Just wanted to say my heart goes out to you, not knowing whether to stay or go in a relationship is really hard. I ended up leaving OH in 2009 and we moved back in together in 2010, still have our ups and downs, but I think if we had not had that break one of us would be dead by now as we are both stubburn!

    Maybe, if you have relatives you could make plans for a weekend apart, think things through, see if absence makes the heart grow fonder? Not read your back story as been so busy recently, but thinking of you xx

  • So sorry to hear this Jacqui. I've been married for 25 years, and I don't think any long term relationship is going to be plain sailing all of the time. For me, there are a couple of absolutes that need to be there in the good times and the bad. They are mutual respect and the sense that even when driving you nuts, that your OH is actually an ok person. If you can both also hold on to the ability to laugh about yourselves, then that is the cherry on the cake.

    If these things can be kept alive, then you can get through the lack of romance, no money, no excitement, irritating habits, or whatever leaves you feeling dissatisfied. That's not really what marriage is about anyway.

    Maybe some joint counselling would help you both to voice your feelings without descending into arguments?

    Well done on holding on to your quit - that is really good news. :o

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