Embarrassed to be back!

The counter in the corner of my screen shows that I last visited this lovely forum on the 28th of September 2009! So like many others, I'm back in the saddle again for another attempt...

I've used Champix a few times now and I'm back on Champix now too - it's the only thing that's truly worked for me in the past, the only problem has ever been myself and dealing with breaking the habits (and convincing myself that rationally, I have no reason to smoke). It's all in the head.

My wife and I are desperately trying to move house from an area which has left us unhappy and between Christmas and New Year we finally got an offer - so we should be on the move, so it strikes me as being no time like the present to get rid of the habit once and for good, as Next corner sofas don't pay for themselves ;)

Anyway I hope to visit here a bit more often than last time. I went down a very slippery - and I'd guess a well-trodden route - of recently keeping my habit completely hidden so only me (in theory) knows I was continuing to smoke. It's cost me a fortune not only in fags but Lynx to mask the smell and sweets from the garage that I really didn't want but I just "really needed to get out of the house and have a fag"! Pathetic really...

Hopefully the shame of doing this as a fully-grown bloke has pushed me into doing this for the very last time... good luck to everyone else on their day 1's, you've all got it in you to kick it for good, no matter what method you've chosen!

8 Replies

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  • your brave not embarrassed

    welcome back and dont be embarrassed about the fact you gave in or beat yourself up about your failed attempts thats all in the past just focus on this one not many people succeed on the first attempt and need to try afew times before succeeding try coming on here when you get a craving join the new year quitters found in social groups if you click on quick links you will find it in there

    onwards and upwards

    regards Carol

  • Thanks for your kind words Carol.

    I kind of wish that I had a list of proper reasons to stop but a) they would all be the usual reasons that everyone cites and b) it just boils down to being the right thing to do.

    Stopping is a way of controlling my life and to stop smoking being in control of me. The Champix is simply the thing to hold my hand and encourage whilst I do it.

    Having been here before I know there's always a lot of enthusiasm at the start of a quit but in reality you get out what you put in, much like "dieting", it's a choice of lifestyle you need to adopt rather than a fad diet.

    Had a couple of "moments" today at work and as a result of lack of breaks my working day does seem longer(!) but already I can take a fuller breath.

  • having control over your body and what you put into it is reason enough surely breathing in poisonious addictive fumes that do so much harm to your body is the best reason of them all its down to re educationing your mind and re learning to live a life without cigerrettes we are all addicts to the cigerettes its just choosing not to let it control you on a day to day basis i know my personal demon is always going to be in me but the longer i go without the weaker he becomes but every now and again he will try and tempt me back but im never going to let me as i dont want to become a slave to something that not only harms me but all the people i have personal contact with especially my grandsons as its scary on a really big plus side the money you save and the money the government cant make of every pack you buy is an added bonus

  • Welcome

    Hey welcome to this wonderful place, with great, friendly people!!

    Biggest piece of advice from me is to stay positive, hard sometimes as you probably know from past quit attempts, come on here if the day seems long if you can, it helps reinforce your quit and chat to some like minded people.

    Good luck :D

  • Thankyou Carol & Sara :)

    I'm already looking forward to moving onto day 2. Feel strangely optimistic but I know the next couple of days are the weird ones - got more than enough going on to distract me!

  • Hey HH, don't feel embarrased :eek:. The fact that you are trying again shows that you are well committed to quitting, so well done YOU :).

    Wishing you all the best,

    Zoe ;)

  • Know exactly what you mean bud - I was acting like a smoking ninja!:D

  • Hiya HH

    I was doing exactly the same. No one knew I had started again and the times I have gone into my bedroom *to change* (just so I could sneak into the back garden to have one) is amazing. I didnt know I had that many clothes.

    I have been out shopping and come home with nothing. just so I could have one.

    Its pathetic really.

    Well no more I am back on the straight and narrow and I hope you follow that path too.

    Lillie

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