Day 70 something - disaster

I don't want to discourage anyone by this post, but I have a need to confess.

2 hours ago I smoked half a roll-up.

I didn't even have a massive craving for it...it was, like someone else said, a f**k it moment. And I enjoyed it. That's the worse thing.

I have cut my Champix down to one a day, probably about 4 weeks ago and for me the cravings have slowly re-emerged. This morning I forgot to take one at all.

Is the Champix that powerful or am I that weak???

It's shaken me because I thought I wanted NOT to smoke. And today I chose to smoke.

Please god, don't let me sabotage myself.

I haven't posted here for a while. Now I feel maybe I should have. Perhaps it would have kept me focused.

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  • I don't want to discourage anyone by this post, but I have a need to confess.

    2 hours ago I smoked half a roll-up.

    I didn't even have a massive craving for it...it was, like someone else said, a f**k it moment. And I enjoyed it. That's the worse thing.

    I have cut my Champix down to one a day, probably about 4 weeks ago and for me the cravings have slowly re-emerged. This morning I forgot to take one at all.

    Is the Champix that powerful or am I that weak???

    It's shaken me because I thought I wanted NOT to smoke. And today I chose to smoke.

    Please god, don't let me sabotage myself.

    I haven't posted here for a while. Now I feel maybe I should have. Perhaps it would have kept me focused.

    Hi,

    It is not the end of the world, just jump back into quitting ASAP if you feel strong enough.

    To be honest maybe you should question if you actually do want to quit or if this is right time. Perhaps you should consider the method of quitting smoking, maybe Champix is not for you?? Perhaps question the reasons why you are quitting because smoking for a WTF moment sounds like you are not there mentally.

    Either way half a roll up over a 70 day period is still an achievement in itself, I wouldn’t beat yourself up too much

    Mark

  • Elizabeth, it's so easily done. It's not always the huge events which we arm ourselves for, but the fleeting moment when we let our guard down.

    Like you say, it's all about choice. Time to take stock before you tumble completely off the wagon. You've had a cigarette - do you really want all the cigarettes that will follow it? Thousands and thousands of them? Make the right choice.

    And stick around here, it really does help keep you on the straight and narrow :)

    Take care,

    H x

  • Thank you Helen and Mark

    I don't want to start smoking again. If I did, I'd only want to stop...so what is the point??

    Today was a moment.

    I'm going to try and forget it.

  • Hi Elizabeth -

    Don't be too hard on yourself - and please don't think it is a 'discouraging' post. Isn't that why the site is here - for support, help and advice through every stage of quitting?

    To let us all know what's happened strongly suggests that you're not going to use this 'lapse' as an excuse to return to smoking. You've said it yourself - it was a 'moment'. You may have enjoyed it - but you wouldn't enjoy being a smoker again.

    You have 70 days under your belt. Tomorrow is still Day 71 for you, in my book.

    And well done for posting so quickly - hope it has helped!

    Sue

  • Try not to worry about it, I know how you feel when those moments happen... They happen loads for me throughout the day but I haven't given in yet... Soooooooooo close so many times!! But don't give up giving up you can do it, this is a stressful time of year but it will be a new year soon so try and focus on a smoke free new year :)

    I did buy some tobacco the other day as I just wanted to smoke but haven't smoked it yet :confused: :eek:

    On Christmas day it will be 2 months for me so I dont understand why it is getting harder.......maybe because I had to give up rather than wanted to .......

    Oh I dont know I just keep telling all the younger people I know never to start on this evil weed!!!!! :(

  • Hi Lizzie

    This is a shame but not a disaster. You just keep going because you have come too far to throw this away now. :o

    Hopefully, you will have more time over Christmas - try and keep in touch on here regularly - it does help to keep your resolve up, I think.

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