Will I ever manage to do this?

I don't even know where to start really. I've just finished the Allen Carr Easyway course (including the back up sessions) and I'm still smoking. Wonder if I'll ever be able to stop. Feeling like a bit of a failure, quite emotional, hugely disappointed, all of that rubbish. Don't quite know where to turn next or what approach to take next! None of my family smoke, they can't understand why I do it or why I don't just stop so I suppose I'm really looking for a bit of support (aren't we all). I know all the reasons why I don't want to do this I just can't seem to stop lighting the wretched things. :confused:

13 Replies

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  • Hey Shellydoll,

    I've been out for 1 month, 7days....an dI felt the exact same as you do...I tried patches, guilt, carrot sticks, celery sticks (after my fingers turned orange form the carrots...lol) and nothing worked for me...and then i tried Champix...it works....i have many posts on here with details of my quit up to now...what happened to me when i was on it....

    You will meet a lot of supportive people in here....me included...who will help you fight the good fight...and believe me, its a fight that is worth fighting!!

    samartel

  • hi shellydoll,

    It seems to me like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself, which is making it more difficult for you. Some people respond really well to a 'I WILL do this' way of thinking, but maybe you could do with having a more laid-back approach with yourself?

    I never thought I could get this far, but I just decided to go for it, and if I failed, then I would learn from it.

    And as samartel said, maybe you could try Champix, or NRT - don't know if you've tried them before.

    The main thing is to keep trying - and the fact that you are shows that you aren't a failure :)

  • Hi Shellydoll. i did it using patches 19 days ago. the ten mins before i quit was the hardest 'should istay or should i go now' there comes a time when you just have to jump. i did and im still falling, funny thing is im ok. and this forum is a fantastic net. dont wait too long. look at your reasons to quit and honour them.

    Mash x

  • Am sat here crying like a loser! Can't tell you how touched I am that you all made the effort to post, makes me feel a bit less alone and a bit less ridiculous. And yes, Calamityjen, I suppose I am putting a heap of pressure on myself, I don't mean to, I just want to get it done and get on with my life! Samartel, I have made an appointment with my Doctor to talk to him about Champix or Zyban so will keep you posted (can't see me until 8th November though, flipping NHS!!!). Thanks Mash too, I have a whole list of reasons why I don't want to do this anymore, I somehow have to get it out of my routine. Congratulations to all of you for doing so well, hopefully that'll be me at some point.

    Heaps of love for lifting my spirits, ever so slightly.

    x

  • HIya Shelly, you can do this if you really want to. That last step, saying this is it, no more, is the hardest one you will take. I was always *going to* and never quite managing it, it was always tomorrow, tomorrow, next week, when Im off work etc.

    Take that step, be brave, if you cant do it this time dont give up on giving up. No one on here will judge you, we havent just waved a magic wand and given up with no problem, Im sure the vast majority of us have made many attempts prior to this one.

    Just remember that on this forum you are never alone and never going through something that someone else hasnt suffered, you will get lots of support and a helping hand to help keep ou on the journey.

    Take care hunny and good luck.

    Lillie xx

  • Hi Shelly

    If you are seeing your doctor on the 8th November, then you have lots of valuable time to start educating yourself so that you know what to expect. There is masses of information on this site, so my advice would be to stop getting anxious about quitting and start reading! You will see posts from people who have felt just as worried and stressed as you who have now successfully stopped smoking and are feeling justifiably proud of themselves.

    It can be done, Shelly, and if you start to prepare yourself now, by the time you quit, you will be feeling more optimistic and excited than you are now.

  • Thanks so much Lillie and Mrs T, I assure you I have been reading all evening!!! I recently turned 30 and I always promised myself that this would be when I would sort it out. I just wanted it to be quick and painless! Obviously it's not and the last couple of months have realistically been the first time in my life that I've properly thought about doing it and of course I'm freaking out because it hasn't been an instant fix. I've never ever posted on forums before and it's such a relief to know that there are other people out there who get it. Rest assured I will keep you posted if the Dr allows me to try the drugs...

    Feeling quite a lot better now though, am a very grateful girlie to have found you all!

  • hi Shelly

    dont be so hard on yourself ! starting the quit is one of the hardest parts

    have to be mentally ready to stop then with a bit of will power and a lot of support (this website is ideal as there are people who are all going through it) do some reasearch on which way you want to stop and plan before you jump good luck !! (although luck does not play any part!!)

  • Hi Shelly,

    Champix has really helped me, I'm on day 14 now of no smoking.

    I've made many attempts in the past. One lasted 3 years, another 3 weeks.

    I got to the point where I was thinking about quitting every day. I tormented myself.

    And now I don't have to think about giving up ever again because ALL I have to do is not smoke...

    One day at a time!

    Good luck

    LizzieX

  • Hi Shelley,

    I'm so glad you've made an appointment to see your GP, I think you sound like an ideal candidate for champix, but even if not then I'm sure you'll get help and support there.

    I don't know about you but I found it impossible to quit for years because the thought of a forever without cigarettes was just inconceivable. Smoking was 'The Thing I Do' and I identified myself with it. To take away the fags was to take away a huge part of my identity (I thought). So I kept clinging to them.

    Turns out that a) I did not, and do not, have to worry about forever. I just have to choose not to smoke TODAY, and that is fine. And b) although this part took slightly longer to adjust to, I have stuck with it and figured out that fags are sod all to do with my identity. I am still me, just not a me who is deliberately inhaling poison - therefore, if anything, a better me.

    This is absolutely possible. Just take that first bold step!

    Best wishes,

    Helen

  • Hi Shelley,

    I'm so glad you've made an appointment to see your GP, I think you sound like an ideal candidate for champix, but even if not then I'm sure you'll get help and support there.

    I don't know about you but I found it impossible to quit for years because the thought of a forever without cigarettes was just inconceivable. Smoking was 'The Thing I Do' and I identified myself with it. To take away the fags was to take away a huge part of my identity (I thought). So I kept clinging to them.

    Turns out that a) I did not, and do not, have to worry about forever. I just have to choose not to smoke TODAY, and that is fine. And b) although this part took slightly longer to adjust to, I have stuck with it and figured out that fags are sod all to do with my identity. I am still me, just not a me who is deliberately inhaling poison - therefore, if anything, a better me.

    This is absolutely possible. Just take that first bold step!

    Best wishes,

    Helen

    totally agree with helen

    i always thought smoking and me came hand in hand anyone who knows me friends and family had little faith in me successfully quitting and i cant blame them i did come across as a confirmed and very dependant smoker for sure

    and here i am almost ten months later still quit, still going very strong, and feeling the most free and happy person ever

    i am one of the dreaded reformed ex smokers trying to get the message over how bad it is to all my smoking friends and collegues and i dont do it to be spitefull in any way i just see smoking for wat it is so so clearly and want to help them

    i think where i was so confirmed and dependant in my smoking it has clicked a massive switch in my brain that makes me understand it for wat it is

    shellydoll if i can do it u definately can this forum has been my lifeline and read read read knowledge is power, use wat ever NRT u need to it doesnt matter how u do it as long as u get there in the end

  • Hi Shelly and welcome :)

    A good tip is to not think about giving up forever, or even a week, as when we are still smoking it just seems impossible and out of reach. But just think of giving up for 1 day. And if that is too much, think of giving up for 1 hour. Any of us can stop for an hour however many we smoke. And 1 day at a time, 1 hour at a time, soon mounts up to a lot of days.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Zoe

  • A thousand people were asked if they could stop smoking forever, they all said no. when asked if they could stop for an hour they all said yes.doing now is enough and its always only ever now. Im betting you will manage.

    Mash:cool:

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