Will i ever be happy? :(

Hi guys i'm feeling miserable..

I don't think it's possible for me to be happy without cigerettes..

Each time i've quit i've felt so depressed that i've had suicidal thoughts throughout

I tried whilst on anti-d's.. it didnt help

I'm trying off them and i feel like crap

I dont know what to do with myself.. i dont want to live miserably and i dont want to die of cancer.. :( help

17 Replies

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  • Hi there. I dont write on here often but your post struck a cord. On day 4 of my quit I felt that I would never be a 'whole' person again if I was a non smoker and became quite sad and low. Looked at the positives of not smoking and booked a rather extravogant holiday for November this year that I will not be able to afford if I even have 1 cigarette. Someone once told me that giving up smoking is like a bereavement of a close friend. Its hard at first and you feel lost but eventually time will heal and you will learn to get through the day without them. I find long walks and (as embarrasing as it sounds) I carry an empty nicotine inhalator in my hand all the time for comfort. I was laughed at for a few weeks by friends and family but they now realise that its a better option than me smoking. Good luck and I hope you win the fight x

  • Crazy here!

    I feel your pain, even at 2 mos, sometimes feel like I'm missing something.

    I've started walking too, short jaunts for now. I'm carrying a tennis ball, rolling it, squeezing it, and bouncing it as I go! Crazy maybe, but works, keeps my hands busy! People that see me probably think I have a screw loose. I don't care, it helps ME!

    Your reward as your quit progresses is more than you will/ can imagine. Hang in there.

    Cathy

  • You will, it just takes time and willpower. Tie a knot and hang on, find something to do to take your mind off the craving. Mint's, Gum, Lollipops, whatever it takes. Working out, running or riding a bike is a good thing too. I'm close to 3 years and its sooooooooooo worth it. 3 to 6 months is the toughest, don't drink and keep a list in your mind why you are quitting and go over it everytime you get a craving.

    Good luck you CAN do it.

  • Hi Strawberry may i ask u were you happy with cigarettes or has this depression come about since quitting?

  • Aw Hun sorry to hear you're a bit down.

    I think because we are so focused on the early days of our quits we sometimes give the nicotine addiction too much credit.

    I can promise you it will get easier and life can be even more fun without the stupid things.

    Do something nice, give yourself a treat, you can do this.

    As has already been said, you are young and you won't have the MISERY of smoking for years until you wake up and see sense xxx

  • Hi Strawberry, I am sorry you feel like that. I'm at day 2 for the 2nd time but I can see that it will get easier. I am really shaky today but I don't want a cigarette. I never want anything to dictate how I spend my life again. We'll get through this and there are so many people anxious to help. Hang in there!!!!!!!

  • Wow Laureli,

    That really is positive. I think you are right because it is an added incentive. I'm going to go ahead and buy the laptop and I'll need to keep away from cigarettes to pay for it :-)

    Where are you going on holiday?

  • Thanks for all the support.. you guys are great <3

    In reply to mash.. i've recently 'recovered' from depression and come off the meds and all that.. i feel like when i smoke i'm just about stable but when i try to quit it knocks me back over the edge :/

    My counsellor always said to me to not take on too much but how long can i wait? It's been 6 years i've waited to feel better and its still not happened -.- what can i do.. x

  • Thanks for all the support.. you guys are great <3

    In reply to mash.. i've recently 'recovered' from depression and come off the meds and all that.. i feel like when i smoke i'm just about stable but when i try to quit it knocks me back over the edge :/

    My counsellor always said to me to not take on too much but how long can i wait? It's been 6 years i've waited to feel better and its still not happened -.- what can i do.. x

    I know exactly how you feel as i've been there. Depression is an awful illness.

  • Depression really is horrible. Can I ask what method you are using to quit?

    DAY2DAY - Thank you for making me feel normal :D Nice to know Im not the only person who has to have something in their hand. The tennis ball thing made me chuckle :D

    UNA - I have booked a holiday on the south coast (UK) for my family and dogs and also a cruise and stay in Egypt for myself and my daughter. Funny to think that in March this year I could not afford to even have a weekend away! All of it is being paid for by my smoking fund so no slip ups possible. Enjoy the laptop :D

  • Depression really is horrible. Can I ask what method you are using to quit?

    Atm i'm just using nicotine gum.. I did buy an e-cigarette but its broken before i even get a go.. typical!

    Do you think that its really the nicotine causing the depression?

    I was reading the other day of all the different antidepressant style chemicals in cigarettes.. i just feel like surely if its a nicotine withdrawral problem then taking the gum would make it go away?

    xx

  • Laurali, I hate to think of how much money this stinking habit costs. I'll be able to do so much more if I can crack it. I was thinking the other day that I should get a car. I haven't bothered since I moved back here because I have a bus pass. I didn't want to pay out for tax and insurance which cost a fraction of the money I've been throwing away. What kind of thinking is that.

  • How I did it

    Hey, just read all your posts and this is how i did it after ten years of smoking and two years of trying to quit. Sorry for the typos. What I am going to say is only what I feel. People are free to disagree.:-)

    There are three kinds of people who quit.

    1. Cold turkey

    2. The kind who slowly reduce and come to a stop day by day.

    3. Unsuccessful ones

    Cold turkey.

    Not all of us are blessed with the will power to quit cold turkey. For many reasons I must say. The people who do, are lucky. If you quit cold turkey the only way to stay away from not starting again is to avoid the things that make you smoke in the first place, things like alcohol, coffee, friends etc...

    Reducing slowly.

    The kind who try to slowly reduce smoking day by day(with the help of tabs, nicotine patches, nicotine gums or another form of NRT) and by reducing the number of cigs they smoke by (n) number a day or a week etc. This sometimes works but sometimes it doesn't. You might be good at slowly reducing and then one day(saturday) or a friends birthday you smoke your guts out telling yourself you'll be back to quitting or reducing from tomorrow. Then you are back to square one. Some of us may end up quitting some of us may not. Which leads us to the third kind.

    Unsuccessful ones.

    These are the people who keep trying and trying . I'd say don't quit trying. Never quit trying. Every time you try to quit (from personal experience) you are one step closer to quitting. Never feel left down.

    Now this is how I quit and though I feel its different for everybody you could give it a shot and if it works buy me a drink(lol) ... just kidding...

    Steps:

    1.Pick a day to start( if you are unsuccessful keep trying)

    Remember to quit smoking is easy you don't need will power. Start like this. Always think there are two people in you. You and the smoker. The smoker in you makes you feel like you need a smoke when you fight with your mate, when your work gets to stressing, when you are looking out at a beautiful scene(having a smoke then makes you feel like you are enjoying the environment better), when you go partying you need to get out have a smoke and he/she also tells you always always have a coffee with a smoke. Now you should know all this is just BS!!! Total BS!!!. Having a smoke does not make you feel better in anyway( it does make you feel great only when you are having a smoke and a little while after). Once you successfully quit you will know what I am talking about.:-).Now, you are going to show the smoker in you who's Boss!! Now how do we do it....

    2. Write down why you want to quit.

    Why do we all want to quit. This is one thing that is common to all of us. We want to quit to stay healthy. We want to live longer. Its easy to find out the benefits of not smoking if you just google it. Most of the smokers say '' don't tell me why to quit tell me how''

    3. Write down the things that make you smoke in the first place.

    Now everyone has different reasons to smoke, here are a few. A cig while driving to work sounds interesting, maybe when you are working you and your mates at the office say ' hey lets go down for a smoke', when you go our for a coffee in the evening you feel like having a coffee and a smoke( trust me I used to love doing this every time I used to go to Costa or Nero),

    when you go partying you need a drink in one hand and a cig in the other(thankfully in the UK you can't smoke inside, the outside is too cold to smoke) etc... so basically everyone has different reasons and times they smoke. Make sure you write all this down even the smallest thing. Always remember sometimes you've looked for a lighter and realized you didn't have one and ended up not smoking that cig in your hand.So, make sure you've penned every minute detail down.

    4. Write down How you plan to quit( don't worry if its difficult).

    Its is the most important. Making a plan to quit involves many sacrifices at different levels. Trust me once you quit you will feel like your on top of the world, mentally and physically. Now, how to quit. Every reason for you to smoke, which you have written for the above mentioned point make sure it doesn't exist. Here are a few examples- when you go partying if alcohol makes you feel like smoking don't drink its simple. If you can't not drink in a party just don't go. It maybe your best friends birthday or whatever. Just remember their lungs aren't for sale.:(. At work tell all your friends that your trying to quit smoking and not to call you downstairs( there are some who will respect your decision and help you out but there are other F***** who say ' Bugger/dude just come man!!! Its ok quit from tom.' These guys mean no harm but their brains can't function any better just stay away from them at least for a while. In your car no lighters, make a strict rule your not going to smoke. Your car will be cleaner(notice the roof doesn't become black anymore) and smell better. When you go out for coffee sit inside and if you are with friends who smoke and they would obviously not want to sit inside then just don't hang out with them. Remember your friends are the reason you smoke try to always hang out with non-smoker when your trying to quit because every time you want to smoke you need to go far away for a smoke and generally you feel like the odd one out. So by doing this you have reduced 60-70% of your smoking. The rest you need to tell yourself you need your life back and not be owned by a stupid stick. All of these thing are very small thing you could alter in your daily life when you are trying to quit. Once you've quit for a couple of months/years and are sure you won't start again you can hang out at a coffee shop with all your smoker friends and not smoke. Trust me!!.

    5. How you could do this.

    This is where you need to have alternatives for smoking. There are many.

    Tabs, nicotine gums, nicotine patches, e-cigs, sprays everything and I have tried everything.

    Tabs- only temporary and if you stop having them you can know the difference slowly. Also there is a chance for you to get addicted to them itself.

    Gums- There are good gums and bad gums. But when you chew them your entire mouth burns and your throat. It also tastes like shit!.

    Patches- THE BEST. The best place to buy them are on amazon. They are cheap compared to the stores. I got the niquitin ones. There are three steps and diff mgs so get the one that suits you. The best part about these are when you put them on at night before you sleep you don't know its on you and the next day you don't feel like smoking and you can control your cravings which will slow help you quit. I tried these and it helped me. There is one side effect though you get CRAZY dreams its like the matrix I kind off got addicted to them they are so real and cool.

    E-cigs - are ok but these are also highly addictive. Some are not worth buying. Remember you need to quit TWO things 1. is the fact that you smoke 2.is that habit itself(hand to mouth motion). The e-cig has no way to solve the hand to mouth habit.

    Sprays.

    Nicorette spray is good. I've have tried it but on the longer run it isn't that great and it is expensive. So, no point.

    6. Have a deadline.

    Reducing over six months is deadly because there are chances of screwing up because the time frame is too big. I'd say for an average smoker(10-15) a day 2-3 months reducing and quitting time is perfect as you also will be on patches. Remember during this time don't do want ever that makes you smoke. If you have to sit at home at watch TV all day do it. Its your life three months of sacrifice will make you live years longer.

    7. Plan how you are going to stay a non-smoker.

    For the first two months while quitting and four months later I feel its better to stay away from all those things that made you smoke. Once you kick the habit you also need to quit the hand to mouth motion. So, after you stop wanting to have a smoke(your body i mean) you will still feel like smoking even though you don't have a craving for one because your hand feels jobless so hold on. When you feel like smoking have a chocolate it helps reduce the cravings for that minute, figure out something else to do etc.. If your feeling depressed for not smoking, read about the positives of a non smoker online , just know your almost there, think of something else to do and just listen to some music. Remember that one smoke will bring you back to square one so don't even think about it. Think about all the benefits you will have. You can workout better, run faster, you are above all smokers in everyday, you smell better, you can smell better, you say money, you don't have oral odor, your teeth look clean etc... So many many many reasons. And once you quit your body kind of acts weird for a while but don't get paranoid its ok. If you feel lazy just sleep it out its better than smoking. If you are stressed at work for some reason go sit somewhere quiet( even the pot) and calm yourself down. Take a deep breathe(not on the pot) practice some yoga I hear it helps and constantly interact with people who make you feel good about quitting smoking not people who say 'light up'. Its our lives its time to take control.

    Vow!!! Im impressed I can actually write well. Basically I'm 27 years old, started smoking when I was 17. I'm perfectly healthy, I smoked 10-15 smokes a day. Tried 100 times or so to quit with many aides. Didn't work. With patches or without. One day for some reason, I woke up and said f**** this is it, its time and just quit(with the help of nicotine patches again) and followed all that I have stated above. Sat at home for the first month. Reduced partying from 8 times a month to 1.

    Hope this helps. I haven't smoked for 6 months now I can't stand it. Please share this with your friends if you find this useful. You can always mail me on mrinaljavaji@gmail.com if you have any further questions. I'm always happy to help.

  • Interesting post above.

    I actually don't think cutting down slowly is any use as an approach, because all you're doing is making yourself miserable by waiting longer periods of time between cigarettes. So basically, you're spending all your time saying "oh no.. Another 4 hours/6 hours before I can have another one"

    I don't agree with your cold turkey point either.

    Avoiding all the trigger points is important in ALL methods. Not just cold turkey. I think the main point with CT quitting is to tell yourself that you are free from nicotine, and it's not a drug that you need in order to survive. If you can get that point through to the mind, then cold turkey is not the monster that it appears at first.

    And in answer to the first post.. YES! You can be happy without cigarettes. I have been smoke free since 4pm on the 9th September 2011. Just over 9 months. I'm obviously not happy all the time, and still get things that piss me off etc. But I would never say now that smoking would make me any happier. On the contrary. It would mean that all the effort I spent to get here would have been wasted.. And the great secret is.. Once you get over the cravings, you will wonder why you even smoked in the beginning!! :) Good luck

  • Interesting thread. I'm no happier or sadder than when I quit (nearly 4 whole days now - whoopidoo!). Smoking never made me happy and not smoking is certainly not making me feel sad. Anxious, worried, edgy, nervous - maybe but certainly not sad. Not smoking is making me feel more confident in general about myself, and I fully expect this feeling to increase further. Also I've just noticed I'm a sight better off financially! About £30 in 4 days already!

  • Hi Strawberry

    Back to basics. Can you be happy without cigarettes? Of course you can! And at the end of the day, that's the end point you're trying to get to. Most of us would not deny it's tough in the early days, we get tired and irritable and experience all sorts of uncomfortable feelings and thoughts.

    We can then be fooled into thinking that smoking is the only cure from this misery. Remember - it's nicotine addiction - and smoking is the cause of the misery. Every cigarette leads to the need for another. Cut of the supply for long enough and the nicotine monster dies.

    Stay open minded and experiment with the various NRT options available if you can't manage CT.

    Remember what it is you're trying to do - to be free from the slavery of smoking. Here's something ridiculously truthful - being miserable because you can't do something that you want to stop doing?!? :confused:

    Really hope you're doing OK. Best of luck, we're all rooting for you. Please post to let us know how you are.

    Shazza

  • SS, You should never just come off anti depressants you have to wean yourself off em first. And you will feel crap not just because of your quit but because youve stopped your meds too. I havent started my quit again yet but i will when i can get my life back. But good luck with youq quit.

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