Saying hello and letting it out

Hello to anyone that reads this. I'm 54 years old and have smoked for most of the last 39 years. I'm on my third try with Champix. The first time I stopped for 2 months, the last time, from March 2013, I stopped for 14 weeks (the longest I had not smoked for since I started the disgusting habit), completed the couch to 5k running programme, getting my 5kms completed in under 30 minutes. I'm still astounded by that. Shortly after I started the smoke again, my body just could not deal with the running and I let it peter out.

I love my sports activity - particularly tennis, swimming, cycling and Bikram yoga, but the impact from smoking is so obvious now. Plus I have severe colds for much of the winter months. I'm just coming out of one bout (temp peaked at 39c), which has really knocked me and resulted in four working days lost. My last bad bout was only in January! In addition, my father died unexpectedly on Christmas Eve from myocardial ischaemia, which resulted primarily from smoking. If he had stopped, we would have still had him here for a few more years as everything else was working fine. I know I'm going the same way; physically, I can feel it.

So, my third Champix prescription. With my ill health last week, I didn't desire to smoke, but even under those conditions I still managed to smoke a whole pack of ten, well smoked half way down and then stubbed out. I'm much better physically today, my cold is clearly abating. I'm also, from today, into my fourth week of Champix. In 2013 I stopped smoking at the end of the third week. So it feels as if this is the right time again. I know No Smoking Day is looming, the 11th March, so I want to get a run up to it. I'm returning to work tomorrow and that, the 24th February, will be my cease day.

I just don't want to fail again. It actually frightens me that I'll fail again.

28 Replies

  • Welcome back walkabout, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. I'm sure he is up there willing you to quit, and as much as he wants to meet you again, I don't think he'd want it to be any time soon.

    Don't go walkabout again!

    Seriously, if you can do 14 weeks you can make it stick for good :)

    This time, how about posting regularly, and I mean regularly, on the forum until at least your 1 year quit point?

    Most of the successful quitters on here, me included, glued themselves to this forum for at least the first year. It helps in many ways :)

    Make this your final quit, you'll be so glad that you did :)

  • Hello to you, and a very warm welcome, my word you seem to be having such a horrid time, and smokng won't ease any of that!!!! But great news ahead if you can do fourteen weeks you can do it, many people including my self have had a few failed attempts,

    Please post and read often , it can often be the difference between staying quit and caving.

    Great to have you with us, sending a little luck your way, look forward to your future posts

  • Thanks to both of you for the encouragement and good wishes. And Capitan, when I read your response regarding my father, well, I'm still having trouble stopping my tears, the first real time since his passing. Perhaps I'm feeling raw following my first post. Anyway, thanks.

    I can appreciate that smoking won't ease any of the bad times; not doing it can only increase the good! And I'll see what I can do with regard to regular posts.

    Here we go.

  • Hi, third time lucky with the champix :) being a 1st of December quitter I get the psychological boost you'll get from the march quitters following behind. All the best for tomorrow x

  • I didn't mean to make you cry walkabout, but your dad always did, and still does, want the best for you.

    You can do this, and seriously, stick close to the forum this time.

  • Thanks very much Caroline. Yes, I'll be a bit ahead of the game, and congrats on nearly 3 months.

  • It's okay Capitan. I regard my reaction as a good thing, just surprised by it! I've flagged the forum pages and will set up at work so I can pop in every now and then.

  • I've flagged the forum pages and will set up at work so I can pop in every DAY.

    ^^^^^ I've just amended that slightly for you walkabout :p

  • I'm sure you will manage this time, I'm on day 7, my inventive is going to Florida in Sep, been 3 times before, but my daughter will be getting into her exams etc next year so not sure when we will be back, I've gone the patches route, tried CT Friday and Saturday but was just a bit too early I'm just concentrating getting through minute by minute lol

  • Thanks Jess.Yep, those minute by minute points can be the weak ones. They can sneak up and ..................Bam! And exciting about Florida for you. I'm going in April for a couple of weeks. Which actually reminds me, although I know there are Americans that smoke, it is made less easy over there for smokers than here. Some more restrictions and of course an ambiance of disapproval permeating the atmosphere. I went to Utah, Colorado etc touring national parks early last year and just didn't bother smoking. I stopped for two weeks cold turkey; I was fine, a bit sulky :rolleyes: though!

  • Hi there, so sorry about your Dad. He will be so proud to know you are trying to stop. I am on day 1 again today so we can hopefully support each other...I am doing CT again but open to nrt if I struggle again.

  • Hi is it going for you? I have felt a bit shameful coming on here as I didn't stop, only reduced substantially, which I suppose is alright. Need to restrain from beating myself up.

  • ........just seen captain's amendment.......:)

  • Hi Walkabout, As you can see I have been here a long time but properly since 2012 and STILL trying desperately to kick this disgusting addiction... I am on my first day of patches which is fine, its further down the line I struggle, like you ive done about 14 weeks, lets make a deal, we will both get to that penthouse and open a bottle of bubbly when we do end of Feb next year :)

  • Hi Donna I hope all is going well with the patches. Phew, end of February next year seems a long time away. That would be an achievement.

  • Walkabout, you've gone err.............walkabout!

    What did we agree? Mmmmm?

    Whatever is happening, log in and let us know :)

    On a side note, your name reminds me of an adolescent crush I had on Jenny Agutter back in the 70's, I'd have given quite a lot (at least my prized marble collection) to have met her back then ! :p

  • Hello Capitan

    I felt a bit shameful to come on here again as I didn't stop on the 24th. I have cut back a lot though. And even with that can feel the difference in my health. Anyway, thank you for your continued support.

    Ah yes, the Jenny Agutter film. I'm more of the Railway Children generation!

  • Dear all

    first, I'd like to thank everyone who posted early last week (!) giving support and encouragement. And second, my apologies for wasting time and not coming onto the forum!

    My quit day came and went and I was still smoking. Over the past week though, my intake has fallen from 20 to maximum seven a day. Today it's been two, over eight hours ago. Now getting hot flushes and a little irritable. But.......I'll manage my work day without having, and that leaves just the evening. At least I'm not feeling nauseous today, which is what happens when you take champix and carry on smoking into week four! Again, thanks for the support.

  • No need to feel shameful or apologetic walkabout, it's your quit :)

    Do you want to quit, or just cut down? I know that I could have never quit by gradually cutting down, I'd have ended up back to full blown smoking very quickly. If you think it will work for you then fine, whatever it takes :)

    You may find, however, that continually drip feeding the nicotine into your system by the physical act of smoking may make it very difficult for you to finally wean yourself off them for good.

    Only you can make that judgment call. One thing that is true is that repeating history will ultimately lead to the same end result, which is something to think about :)

  • I want to quit. I want to start running again. It just seems that I'm at a stage where I'm having that tussle that smokers are very aware of at the moment - 'I can', 'you can't' Although I do know I can. That part of me just needs to win out, if that makes sense.

  • Hi walkabout, I never had the privilege of choosing a quit date, smoking chose it for me, was so ill so that was that. Aren't you feeling rubbish on just a couple of fags a day? My feeling is that having just two would mean I was craving for a fix all day but still occasionally topping up on nicotine. I've not taken Champix so know nothing about it, but thought you were to stop smoking after week 2?

  • Cutting down is better then not...are you setting a quit date...wishing you all the best you sound like you want to quit but maybe not quite ready...but you will be x

  • Thanks very much. I believe you're right, not entirely ready. Still in the two minds pulling in different directions.

  • Hi, know exactly what you mean bout being in two minds! I've been like that since 6th Jan!! I'm just on patches at the moment, the rough plan I had in mind was cut down so that stopping wouldn't be too much of a shock to my system! But it started to feel like those few smokes I was allowing myself were my treat for being good!!!!! Obviously that's not where i want to be (grrr!) I never thought I would want to stop, even losing my mam to copd 4 years ago didn't deter me from fact my smoking increased but the effects on my health lately must have finally made summat click! I was nearly hospitalised at Xmas and that scared me, its happened before but normally once I'm recovered the fear dissolved and i never did anything about it! Please don't let failed attempts previously worry you this time, only you will know when your ready but don't let that little voice influence you too much are doing so well already!!!! Take each challenge as they come and keep posting!! Xx

  • I wish you well, alleycat. You can do this, and I can as well. I lost my father on Christmas Eve prematurely due to blocking of arteries, through smoking, and my smoking increased immediately afterwards. I've had two serious colds since Christmas and like you once getting over them going into smoker denial thinking I was alright to carry on. I've had a good day today; zero cigarettes for over 28 hours. Pleased but nervous! All the best to you. I'll be interested to see your journey and posts.

  • You wouldn't be here if you didn't want to quit eventually walkabout, just being here is your subconscious mind letting you know that :)

    Stick around and start posting more, it may well give you just that extra push you need to go for it.

    It seems daunting to go for a quit, I know, I did it after 31 years hardened smoking, but you know what, it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. There were some tough days yes, but nothing unbeatable and I'm 3 years quit now. Nothing, and I mean nothing, would ever get me lighting up again. I've learned that you can face anything without a smoke in your hand, millions upon millions do it every day :)

  • Thanks Capitan, and I hope you're right (still hedging my bets there by not actually saying you are right!! To be honest I'm protecting myself against another fail).........however, I have gotten to the point of being in a position to post in quit Day 1. I'm quietly pleased about that. How did you deal with the tough days? I know the bad day, the events/circumstances that came together when I cracked last time. So I know they'll come.

  • How do you deal with the bad days?

    It's a difficult question as everybody is different. Firstly, go out of your way to avoid situations which have caused you to lose a quit in the past. If it's drink, then knock it on the head until your quit is solid.

    I did it because I hate to lose. Once I had decided to quit for good (it was only supposed to be 1 day out of respect for a friend that died) there was no way I was going to be beaten by a plant. I had tough days on Day 4 and Day 8 but no way was I going to smoke, I hate to lose.

    Go to bed or take a shower or a bath, take up sport (I now swim 5 miles per week) and keep coming on here and posting.

    You know there will be tough days so it won't surprise you, but plenty of people on here have quit for good so you know it can be done. Believe it gets better, because it really, really does.

    You're not giving up anything, you're choosing to live a healthier, happier life :)

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