Just Lost It!!!!

My santity :o

Having some friends round tonight with a fire in the garden (no intention of burning them...... yet:mad:) and was trying set up some sort of shelter but was having some issues when i could feel myself getting a mass craving and in turn getting more stressed and stressed and stressed when BANG i lost it, I was screaming in the garden F'ing and Geffing and kicking the shit out of the shed....... wife went inside (and took the dog), neighbours hid behind curtains.

I ended up facing a corner with my head against the wall taking deep breaths to try and calm myself.

I have to admit that when i'd calmed down it really frightened me as was thinking what if i'd been in an argument with someone and that had happened...... i could have hospitalised them (or worse:eek:) without batting an eyelid.

Honestly it was like the Incredible Hulk (ok, so i don't look like him) but the intensity of it outstanded me.

I can hear Bruce Banners words now "Don't make me angry, you wouldn't like me when i'm angry"

I've been stressed before and had cravings but NEVER like what happened.

I know you should try and take yourself out of a situation when you feel a craving combined with stress but it was like a tidal wave and i was riding it!!

Anyway, i'm calm now, not had a ciggie thank god:cool:

7 Replies

  • i completely understand that....i just now had a moment where i felt that if one more thing was placed on my back i would break..then i told myself that having a cig wouldnt solve all these problems so why do it..to feel worse?? it happens but the important thing is that you got through it without smoking and noone was hurt, right??:eek:

  • Wow, scary!

    I do understand. I find a good cry helps. But if you're manly that's not the default option. :p

    Hope you're feeling better now xxx

  • lol hels...crying always helps me get through it...and remember camper it takes a real man to cry!!:D

  • Cry?, does tears of rage count?:)

    I'm a lot better now thanks, glad i didn't have a ciggie as i'd feel i let myself and everyone else down....... and the thought of having to go through the last 3 weeks (and the time to come) all over again is enough for me to say NO to ciggies........ but it was my weakest moment since i stopped smoking.:(

    I've heard a lot about the 3 three's ie 3 days, 3 weeks and 3 months when the cravings can be bad and people are at their weakest, i wasn't sure if i believed in it but after todays escapade then i'm now not so sceptical.:rolleyes:

  • OK Pete too many girly hormones going on here.................crying?? Real men??

    So here it is man style..............shed should know better so it got what it deserved!!!

    Nieghbours should mind their own business, so should count themselves lucky you didn't jump the fence a shove your size 10 up their jacksy!! ;)

    Dog should have been trying to cheer you up instead of hiding with its tail between its legs!! :rolleyes:

    And finally wife should have been building shelter and none of this would have happened in the 1st place!! :D

    Now I hope that has been helpful, and if I catch you crying like a girl there will be trouble!!! :p

  • John, you're a star my man, you never cease to cheer me up :D

  • S'ok Pete,

    I threw a tantrum the other day. A real good and proper tantrum. Tears and snot flying, screaming, f-ing and blinding, arms flailing, raging against the unfairness of it all, face smeared in make-up.....it was spectacular.

    Problem is I'm 33 years old :o:D

    When you are 3 it's barely acceptable, but understandable, when your 33 it's just downright wrong!

    I felt soooo embarrassed afterwards, I'm usually so much more controlled than that.

    So I can somewhat empathise. I think it's about learning to cope with situations that are REALLY pissing us off. In the past I would have a fag. Like we've lost our coping strategy and forgot to put a new one in place.

    In future (if there is ever a need again) I'm going to try and stop myself and remove myself from the room, situation, whatever. Maybe have a think about what you will do different in case there is a next time....

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