So, I was sitting down with my girlfriend yesterday evening. She was looking to me to answer her endless string of quit-smoking questions. After all, in my infinite wisdom I did quit for about five years several years ago, so I have "a lot of experience". She has never quit before and needs some guidance.
"What happens when the novelty wears off?" she asked me.
"What do you mean", I responded, "What novelty?"
"You know. So you quit. It feels all shiny and new," she said. "After a while not smoking is no longer new and the shine has gone. What happens next?"
At that point, I had to admit that I had no idea how to handle that question.
Thoughts?
Michael.
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ok have to say that its not like having anew car/toy its a new way of life so novelty doesnt come into it at the end of the day no one is saying you cant smoke anymore its your choice not to
most of my family smoke but they are all behind me for giving up i know since i have stopped that my health has improved no end and i dont stink anymore
plus for me my grandson is my biggest reason not to smoke
but everyone has there own reasons why they stopped and why they arnt going to smoke anymore
i see what you mean but then again there is always a new ness to anything that is new in your life especially if its life changing which giving up smoking is after all its a whole new life style and takes alot of courage to continue especially if you are still around people that smoke
well like with anything really you can only take one day/craving at a time and just try to find away through it
i think some of the threads on this site are great for when the craving gets to me i just read my list and read a thread or play a game online (i have quite afew i play on here) till it passes or chat to one of my mates
Yes the novalty does wear off and then, as alot of people find, it gets boring. You hit the 'I can't be bothered with this anymore stage', 'i'm bored of always thinking of it' etc etc etc
Best thing I can suggest is find a hobby. Get busy. The less time you have to sit around and ponder it the better.
The novalty of my quit ran out a couple of weeks ago and I had a rough few days with it. Not with harsh cravings like in the begining but in the 'I could really just have a smoke now' thoughts going through my head every couple of hours. Like a seductive voice whispering in my ear about something that would feel great. I told it to bog off and did something else.
Being prepared for it is the key, expect it and you can deal with it.
"What happens when the novelty wears off?" she asked me.
A loooooong time ago I posted a thread about just that.
The fact is you deal with it, learning to live life as a non smoker where the quitting thing isn't new and exciting is an integral part of it. Only when you it feels normal and the thought of smoking feels alien does it really sink in that you've done it, you've quit!
I'm not saying that you can let your guard down, you can't, but its all about embracing a new mindset in which smoking is nothing but feeding a drug addiction, with no (or at least precious little) pleasure, reward or benefit.
Its totally doable BTW the 1 year+ room is full of people that have successfully turned their backs on smoking.
So when the novelty wears off, and the motivation starts to ebb away you just have to make a concious decision to exercise your choice to "not smoke" but if you get your head round this quitting business you can and will succeed.
I have given up for over a year before, and replaced the smoking addiction with a gym addiction. One of the problems was when I was unable to go to the gym for a while a year later, wham the smoking was back!
This time I have not changed anything, and honestly, I think it is simply a case of thinking "This is me now, I am a non-smoker" and accepting there is no going back. There is a novelty to start with and the cheerleaders to go along with it, but then they kind of fade away. It is a case of changing your mindset and recognising that it is no longer around. I don't think there is a magic bullet, just willpower, determination and a recognition that it just is.
It is simply a case of strength of character to get through it. Looking at the positives of your new life, compared to the negatives of your old smoking life. Personally I am grateful that I am not heading outside in the terrible weather to smoke! That in an of itself is almost enough for me! I am grateful that I don't have desperate runs to the store.
I think this is why the quit has to be for YOU and YOUR reasons, because once the novelty wears off it is just about YOu and YOUR quit.
Why should the novelty wear off, your girlfriend is still with you and there must have been a point were you and she felt all excited about being together and has she got fed up with you (only you can answer that) remember that like your relationship your quit will evolve so there does come a point where you dont think about it, as its a part of your life like smoking was.
So I know we all seem a little dim to you on here and we never seem to be able to understand your questions, so if I have also misunderstood your question, or your girlfriends question Im sorry.
It seems that the basic principle is to replace the slowly waning euphoria of not smoking with that of a newly-found interest. But, therein lies the fundamental problem... What to do instead? That is, is it really essential to substitute the smoking experience, or can one live by doing pretty much the same as before less puffing the dragon?
Michael.
I think its Kevin of the Woofmang tales that came up with the phrase trading the lies for the truth. That is what you have to replace smoking with, an understanding that its an addiction rather than a hobby.
Basically you do live your life as before but you have to break the associations you had with various situations and smoking, whether that be stress, joy, reward, boredom or whatever.
Initially that may take a certain dogged determination, but the more times you face a situation the more experienced you get at not associating it with smoking and understanding that the association is a result of needing to maintain your nicotine levels before you could get on with dealing with whatever is situation is.
I won't lie the transition from novel to normal can be challenging, but its something we all go through on the way to a successful quit. You just have to stay focused.
Sorry~Michael if I came across a bit sarcy but I do think that it’s a totally unique experience and we all deal with it in different ways so possibly there is no answer.
As you have quit before and for quite a while maybe your girlfriend thinks you have all the answers and when you get right down to it this forum is huge but I don’t think even on here we have all the answers.
Good luck in your quit and for your girlfriend as well, so long as you feel better there doesn’t need to be any answers really but if asking the questions makes people feel less alone then it’s a good to do it.
Isn't this forum great! I really hope that this thread has helped you because it certainly has been a huge bonus to me.
I read Nic's original posting and all the replies and they addressed many worries for me, having caved in at 5 months in the past. That could have been absolutely nothing to do with the nicotine addiction at that point, but I had smoked 20+ a day for over 30 years. I am one of these people who needs to know what is happening and by preparing for what will happen I can get through.
Thanks everyone, this has given me another bullet in my quit arsenal. Ange
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