What is happening to this forum?

I have noticed in the last couple of days the lack of new thread on here. Has no one got anything to say anymore :confused: Month three for instance has been sitting for three days with my thread;

forum.nosmokingday.org.uk/s... and it had not moved, this thread will remove it. Maybe I'm not seeing threads that have been posted, most of what I'm seeing is posts on threads that are days old. I don't see any point in giving advice to someone who had mad cravings two days ago because I'm sure they would have dealt with it by now. Even congratulating someone who reached 2 weeks three days ago they may have started smoking again or the thread is so old they are not likely to see your message.

You can all tell me to get to hell out of it or tell me to shut up if you want to but I have also noticed all this doom and gloom. Many poeple complaining as to how they feel not being able to smoke, well I don't really want to say this but it was their decision to stop because they don't want to smoke anymore just like I did.

I know we all go through difficult times I for one as some of you know have had the lot threw at me. But it was my choice not to smoke and a great one at that. So come on people let's see some new posts and yes please tell us when you are finding it hard that's what we are all here for but try not to complain because you have stopped smoking. Try to rejoice in the fact that you are getting rid of something you don't want, something that will do you a lot of harm and perhaps one day kill you.

Okay that's my rant over with and I wish you all a very happy smoke free day.

Be a happy quitter.

Jack:):):):

66 Replies

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  • Oops.

    I wish i had read that before i just posted my new thread. (week 3)

    Sorry Jack. I am feeling ok but this place is good to have a rant. :o

  • Hi jack :)

    I to have noticed this place of late is all doom and gloom nobody seems to have fun threads anymore

    It's getting bloody boring here just lately to put it mildly

    If anybody feels they're not getting support or are being ignored please PM me I try hard not to miss anyone out but there is only so much I can do without the support of others to help me help you

    If you PM me I'll try and help no matter what the problem as will Jack I'm sure

    Love

    Marg xx

  • Marg you are dead right. I don't believe I'm the world best quitter and there are times when I could murder a cigarette but I don't have a gun, anyway you get put in jail for murder and I would just start smoking again if that happened.

    Seriously I have bad times as I'm sure we all do. I'm coming up for three months come Tuesday and for what little experience I have I'm here to help as Marg says through a thread or through a pm. I believe I have helped a couple of people through PMs already. One is still stopped after more than 3 month and the other is in their second week second time around.

    I would just like to see more humour and happiness on here. I would like to think when some are down they could come on here and be cheered up plus get a smile or a laugh at some of the threads. And let's see some more new threads I would like some new ones to answer.

    Come on everyone, let's be happy you can see just under my name it says Happy happy Jack.

    see this is happiness;

    i415.photobucket.com/albums...

    Jack :)

  • Hi Jack :D

    I know what you mean we all have bad times I did and I know you have but that's all we here lately there used to be a few fun threads here but they got frowned on by some and seem to have stopped completely now

    Most of us have struggled aat some point or are struggling but a bit of humour helps honest

    Like you I help via PM's sometimes if asked it soedn't matter I'll help any way I can

    Love

    Marg xx

  • Ok so humour you asked for and humour you will get, I wake up every morning absolutely boiling over with happeiness because I have quit and I am still quit.

    I rejoice every single day that I am smoke free and smell free in fact I smell great.

    I have just spent the most money I have ever in my life spent on skin creams etc so that I can possibly look better as well, but hey I know there is nothing out there that can make miracles.

    I love walking now and find I have more energy and want to do it more often.

    I wish that every one could feel as I feel because quitting would be easier for them as for me once I had come to except the fact that Im not going to smoke again and stop torturing my self with if onlys life got better.

    So there you are how I feel athis very moment in time.

    How I will feel tomorrow or the next day I dont care but to day is good and I am Happy Hungry (as usual LOL)

    And any one wants a piece of my happiness then Im ready to share.

    Was that happy enough for you LOL Hi Jack Jack and all on here xxxx

  • Ok so humour you asked for and humour you will get, I wake up every morning absolutely boiling over with happeiness because I have quit and I am still quit.

    I rejoice every single day that I am smoke free and smell free in fact I smell great.

    I have just spent the most money I have ever in my life spent on skin creams etc so that I can possibly look better as well, but hey I know there is nothing out there that can make miracles.

    I love walking now and find I have more energy and want to do it more often.

    I wish that every one could feel as I feel because quitting would be easier for them as for me once I had come to except the fact that Im not going to smoke again and stop torturing my self with if onlys life got better.

    So there you are how I feel athis very moment in time.

    How I will feel tomorrow or the next day I dont care but to day is good and I am Happy Hungry (as usual LOL)

    And any one wants a piece of my happiness then Im ready to share.

    Was that happy enough for you LOL Hi Jack Jack and all on here xxxx

    All I can say is I love you to bits because that's what we need on here to show the beginners it's all worth the pain.;)

    A great big hug from me,:)

    Jack xxxx

  • Thanks Jamangie :D

    That's cheered me up no end

    Here's a hug from me as well hun

    Love

    Marg xx

  • Thank you Jack Jack and Margeret and I love you 2 LOL, I love threading but do tend to agree that we have to be careful not to become maudling LOL

    I threaded the other day and was asked what was the point HUH the point of a thread in the general area is that you can put whatever you like and then the rest can read it post on it or not bother doing anything with it. Choice thats what this forum should be about.

    I am glad that there are people on here that are willing to assist some one else who is struggling and make there quit easier if they can, have only been on here 8 weeks but think it would be a shame if it was to become a forum for long term quitters and not the newer ones.

    I know im not a long term quitter so Im grateful for help and support and always willing to give it, not g etting maudling am I LOL xx

    4231

  • BUT

    I haven't stopped dancing yet... since we met on the first day...... i haven't stopped loving this forum yeeettt!!!

    tra la la la la la la......

    passes round a cup of cheerful fairy sparkles and a jolly big grin..... ahhh and a bouncy boing for all......

    boing boing boing boing boing

    Love Zebedee!

    xxxxxx

  • Oh Zosie I am Boinging round my sitting room like a nutter, which Im told is what I am.

    My Grandaughter is looking at me gone out cause Im typing and singing so will Boing off hee hee

  • hi Chrissie I saw you last night and was quite cross at you for jumping out from under my bed and scaring me!! I have forgiven you now though LOL

  • Bradders he reckons hes not scared of anything LOL I want tell him your going xx

  • Maybe I've frightened everbody away with this thread. Hmmm:confused:

    Jack

  • not a chance of that jack...... sorry if i have moaned a bit well ok more than a bit but on a plus side i dont want any cigs....... i love not wanting any cigs....i love smelling the clean washing that still smells nice after a few days, and food is fabulous xxx

  • Mary you just keep up that positive approach, it's great. You must be about day 17 now so that's pretty good going. You'll still get bad days for some time to come but you'll find them easier to deal with. I'm having a bad night tonight but tomorrow's a different day. :) Just give me some chocolate and I'll be okay.

    Jack xx

  • its 18 jack i just checked lol...... im just taking one day at a time..... not thinking about anything other than life. im getting sick of the sight of chocolate but feel free.....dont get all angry with yourself jack or with anyone else, you are doing extremely well 3 months i cant wait till i can post i have quit 3 months, 4 weeks is my longest but with few here and there in between that,so i suppose that wasn't really 4 weeks, so hey this is my longest lol 18 days exactly at 10.30 roll on thurs and 3 weeks done xxxxx

  • Mary I joined this forum 3 weeks into stopping, I never thought I could go that far never mind three months so if you keep strong you will get there. It was all uphill but it seems to be levelling out now and soon I think it will be downhill.

    Incidently this was my first time of stopping and yes I told mtself many times that I could never stop. I hope that people like me can give people like you hope to get there. Like I've said many times your not giving something up you're getting rid of something you don't want.

    Keep going,

    Jack xx

  • I dont think you have frightened anyone away Jack - you voiced your opinion whilst not having the best of days mate

    Happy, Sad or bloody miserable is all part of the quitting process so i hope everyone continues to post their emotions as only true addicts understand and it stops us from boring the pants off others

    Hope tomorrow is better Jack

    Well Done You

    Chrissie x

    Chrissie the funny thing is I wrote this thread when I was feeling great earlier today. It was the evening time That I was not feeling too good and I don't know why. I think I got angry because my kids were going to their friends house and they have to take food with them when we would never dream of their friends coming here and having to bring their own food.

    I'm back feeling very proud of myself right now it's over 12 weeks, 2 days to go to 3 months.

    I also hope everyone continues to post their emotions because they are important to all of us. But I hope they will post their happy emotions along with the unhappy emotions.

    You have been and still are a great contribution to this forum so thank you.

    Jack xx

  • Happiness is Champix (for me anyway)

    Hello Jack,

    Read your post with interest, however I don't know if I should be on this thread as I am only just about to go into day 11 smoke free. I do get a lot of comfort and support from reading through the various threads.

    I am very pleased with my progress to date and also with the encouragement that I have received from this forum. I, in turn am trying to help others who are a little behind me in terms of quitting and it can be annoying if they aren't reading their messages.

    I, like yourself, am 63 years old and had been smoking for 50 or more years and I remember well the time that smoking was a pleasure. However, wisdom comes with age and inspite of many previous attempts to quit (the longest being 3 months) I was determined to give it another go, primarily because of a lengthy chest infection I had. I am quitting with the help of Champix and this forum. (Just to finalize any possible comments about suicidal tendancies, let me just add that Champix works fine for me....End of that debate).

    When I do post a thread or reply, I try to remain as upbeat as I can, firstly because thats how I have been feeling for the most part on this quit, and secondly because people don't need to be reminded of what they think they are missing or giving up. Sure, there are times when I feel a little subdued but that is nothing against the cravings which I went through on previous attempts to quit. Even my wife has noticed that I am not the grump that I was on other quits.

    This forum can take a lot of credit for that too, because I am among like minded people who have been there or maybe just starting. I can also find the time to write something here, and that helps to keep my mind occupied.

    So thank you all for your support and thank you Jack for giving me something to write about.

    Cheers.....Aremess :)

  • Hi Aremess, it's a pleasure to meet you. You are welcome on any thread on this forum it does not matter how long it is since you stopped. Please feel free to post or thread anywhere you like.

    You are correct, when you get older you do get wiser and see things in a different light. I'm sure like me when you started smoking there was nothing or no one to tell you how wrong you are and how bad these things would be for you. No one told us that we would be addicted to them the rest of our life.

    I don't know if you read my thread in month 3 "Are we self brainwashed" because I am sure now that I could have stopped smoking a long tome ago if I had not told myself so many times I can't.

    You are using Champix well I know some people who have used Champix and they are now non smokers. One guy I know stopped a good few months ago with Champix and I know he will not smoke again. The method you use to stop is irelevant to stop smoking any way you can is what matters.

    Champix may have some side effects but I do not believe suicide is one, end of debate.

    It is important to be upbeat when posting I have had days when I could have screamed and smoke 100 cigs one after the other. I come on here and have seen someone desperate for help and I've been very positive even though inside myself I wasn't. There are many following us and it is important that they feel this long and rock road is worth it but it does not necessary have to be a lonely one.

    Read and write as much as you can I found to do that not only helped others but it also helped me .

    Keep in touch,

    Jack

  • Kindred spirits

    Thanks a million Jack,

    What a great response from you. I think that we are kindred spirits and have both gone through the glory days of smoking when it used to be glamourised. Do you remember "You're never alone with a Strand". The 50's and early 60's truely were magical times, but I had better not go there or I will be writing all night, I think my mind is permanently stuck in that era.

    My Dad gave me my 1st smoke, on my 10th Christmas. It was a Wills Whiff cigar, I went green and then threw up. I don't know if it was dads attempt at aversion therapy or not, but clearly it didn't work. By the age of 14, my mum was giving me 5 ciggies a day along with a "but don't let your father catch you" warning. From the time I left school I gradually got up tp smoking 20 a day. That was probably the most in any one day, but over the last few years I had cut back to about 10.

    There is no doubt about the way that smoking effects your health, but as you rightly say "back then, there was no-one to warn you of the perils of smoking and no health warnings".

    I had tried most of the NRT treatments and tried Zyban twice. The 1st time on Zyban was when I stopped for 3 months, but I never felt as good using that as I do with Champix. I think I am meant to be on it for 3 months in total. I am glad to hear that you had success using it and that you know of others who have quit using it. As I mentioned earlier, I have done the debate about the merits or the side effects of Champix and if it works for me, then I have to tell it as I find it. Others may not be as fortunate.

    I wish you well as you approach the 3 month mark, Jack and I hope that we will still be corresponding when I reach that milestone, by which time you will be nearing 6 months.

    Well thanks again Jack, and good luck.

    Aremess.;)

  • Hey Jack!!!!

    heres a big smile and a (((((Hug))))))

    To start your week off fabulously.

    xxxx

  • Its always been argued that this is a non smoking forum. A place where you can rant and rave. And thats the point of it. So it is going to be mostly filled with people posting their problems.

    People should feel able to post when they feel rubbish and I do agree that this is not a social networking forum but a no smoking forum.

    The forum ebbs and flows though. Its sometimes full of explosive arguments, sometimes idiots, sometimes very amusing and upbeat issues. But. Its main purpose is to support people who struggle.

    Re the general thread, it has become a bit more diluted of late. I personally don't think the forum is handled as well as it could be. The mods could post more often and be more open. I, for one, temper what I say for fear it will be deleted or spark an argument or upset someone.

    Fi x

  • Jack

    Not quite sure exactly what you are getting at here and if I am missing the point than I apologise.

    I agree that we are all here because we want to give up smoking but if we all found it easy and had nothing to moan about then what would be the point of joining a no smoking forum.

    I have had endless day ones and not once do they make me feel positive and upbeat even though I want to give up smoking. If the forum is just for social networking instead of venting your feelings then what is the point of it?

    Hi Titch and thanks for your response. The word "moan" is probably what I'm speaking about yes this a no smoking forum and it is a place where you can vent your feelings but is it not also a place where you ask for help?

    I am no different to any of you in respect of stopping smoking. I went CT and it has been as hard for me as it has been for any of you and still is hard even at three month. I challenge any of you to find one of my posts or threads where I have moaned about stopping smoking. I have came on here and asked for support when I have been struggling and yes I got support thanks to people on here. I have also came on here when I have been feeling really bad and gave my support to others so I don't understand why some think that I think this is a social forum.

    My main point was although this a no smoking forum it does not have to be a unhappy one. Everyone who comes on here is here because they want to stop smoking and I admire and respect them for making that decision. But this is their decision as it was mine, a very difficult decision and one which if they carry it through will effect them for the rest of their life. The point I keep trying to make is who made the decision to stop and why should they be unhappy about it. Please come on here and by all means rant, rave, vent concerns, ask for help but don't sit down and feel sorry for yourselves. If you were to make any other commitment in life to improve your life would you not be happy about it? If so when you decide to stop smoking be happy about it, it's a comitment you're making to improve your life.

    Okay now I've had a rant some may agree, some may disagree. It would nice if you all did agree but I don't expect you to do so for one minute as we are all individuals. I made a decision to stop smoking and so far I have done just that and I am very happy about it. You ones that are int he early stages stick with it and one day you will feel the same.

    I hope this does not aggrieve anyone.

    With great repect to you all,

    Jack:)

    Jack

  • Hi Titch and thanks for your response. The word "moan" is probably what I'm speaking about yes this a no smoking forum and it is a place where you can vent your feelings but is it not also a place where you ask for help?

    I am no different to any of you in respect of stopping smoking. I went CT and it has been as hard for me as it has been for any of you and still is hard even at three month. I challenge any of you to find one of my posts or threads where I have moaned about stopping smoking. I have came on here and asked for support when I have been struggling and yes I got support thanks to people on here. I have also came on here when I have been feeling really bad and gave my support to others so I don't understand why some think that I think this is a social forum.

    My main point was although this a no smoking forum it does not have to be a unhappy one. Everyone who comes on here is here because they want to stop smoking and I admire and respect them for making that decision. But this is their decision as it was mine, a very difficult decision and one which if they carry it through will effect them for the rest of their life. The point I keep trying to make is who made the decision to stop and why should they be unhappy about it. Please come on here and by all means rant, rave, vent concerns, ask for help but don't sit down and feel sorry for yourselves. If you were to make any other commitment in life to improve your life would you not be happy about it? If so when you decide to stop smoking be happy about it, it's a comitment you're making to improve your life.

    Okay now I've had a rant some may agree, some may disagree. It would nice if you all did agree but I don't expect you to do so for one minute as we are all individuals. I made a decision to stop smoking and so far I have done just that and I am very happy about it. You ones that are int he early stages stick with it and one day you will feel the same.

    I hope this does not aggrieve anyone.

    With great repect to you all,

    Jack:)

    Jack

    hi Jack

    Echo all your words and agree 100% with what you say ..... Jack why dont you go into the General forum join in with the posts even post your own threads, doesn't matter what they are or how crap they are if you see mine you will understand what i mean :) but in the General Room you can have a laugh there are a number of threads in there you can choose to join, like i said start your own as Zo did today, that goes for everyone new or old posters, I am sure you will have plenty to post about share your sense of humor anything. and besides Zo is leading the conga in there and it is getting very messy ....

  • Thanks for your support I'm already in the gongaaaa is it my pants that are ripped?:D

    Jack

  • Thanks for your support I'm already in the gongaaaa is it my pants that are ripped?:D

    Jack

    yep ...........

    so you gonna get in there on a regular basis ... pass the days away Jack ...some threads get you a bit :mad: some a bit :confused: and some well to be frank effing stupid but each to their own and whatever gets them through their quit ..well live and let live is what i say

  • Just so people know I've removed those posts which took this thread off into oblivion.

    Please lets not totally divert the threads :)

  • Thanks,

    Jack

  • Hi Titch and thanks for your response. The word "moan" is probably what I'm speaking about yes this a no smoking forum and it is a place where you can vent your feelings but is it not also a place where you ask for help?

    I am no different to any of you in respect of stopping smoking. I went CT and it has been as hard for me as it has been for any of you and still is hard even at three month. I challenge any of you to find one of my posts or threads where I have moaned about stopping smoking. I have came on here and asked for support when I have been struggling and yes I got support thanks to people on here. I have also came on here when I have been feeling really bad and gave my support to others so I don't understand why some think that I think this is a social forum.

    My main point was although this a no smoking forum it does not have to be a unhappy one. Everyone who comes on here is here because they want to stop smoking and I admire and respect them for making that decision. But this is their decision as it was mine, a very difficult decision and one which if they carry it through will effect them for the rest of their life. The point I keep trying to make is who made the decision to stop and why should they be unhappy about it. Please come on here and by all means rant, rave, vent concerns, ask for help but don't sit down and feel sorry for yourselves. If you were to make any other commitment in life to improve your life would you not be happy about it? If so when you decide to stop smoking be happy about it, it's a comitment you're making to improve your life.

    Okay now I've had a rant some may agree, some may disagree. It would nice if you all did agree but I don't expect you to do so for one minute as we are all individuals. I made a decision to stop smoking and so far I have done just that and I am very happy about it. You ones that are int he early stages stick with it and one day you will feel the same.

    I hope this does not aggrieve anyone.

    With great repect to you all,

    Jack:)

    Jack

    Morning All :D

    Jack I agree with what you're saying here People should be happy to have quit the fags and although we all at times have a moan or a rant about how we feel, the craves or whatever this is all normal and it does help to get the feelings out and also get support

    But this forum is not the happy place it once was by a long way and I don't know why that is at all

    But the fun part is in the main definately missing lately which is a pity IMO as I always found the fun threads helped me through the bad days when nothing else could

    But lately all we seem to get here are the grumbles there is nothing to balance it out at all and that again IMO id a great pity

    Come on folks lets have smoe real fun threads here again that we can all join in with

    Love

    Marg xx

  • I realise everyone has different challenges when quitting. Because I am 'in the zone' this time on my quit, I feel really happy and positive. I have been thinking twice about posting because I only have minor craves and I feel so happy that I don't smoke and I feel that perhaps it the forum focus is people experiencing dificulty and I worry that my postive posts might be viewed negatively (if that makes sense). But I still post because I think that all people's experiences are good or bad.

    I agree with Margaret, a bit more fun wouldn't go amiss. But a moan and a groan is OK too!

  • Hi Jack, and all to all other posters on Jacks brilliant thread, before I write any more I would just like to say this is my opinion uninfluenced by any and showing no favouritism LOL

    I think to some extent Jack has a valid point and that maybe a few have misconstrued his thought provoking intentions, we all at some point while using this forum have bemoaned our quit and if we check back in our early threads most of us will see that’s true ( I moaned lots LOL ) and as a few have pointed out this is what the forum is about and intended for quitting smoking, it is to give us somewhere to come to moan, groan, check that how we feel is “normal” and to some extent I believe to so******e with people who are also going through the mostly hard process of becoming a non smoker.

    But if you were new on the forum and all you read was how bad it is to quit and every thread was negative you would I’m sure feel slightly daunted by the prospect.

    Not only do we need to read how bad some days can be we also need to read how fantastic other days of our quit have been, mostly for me I’m pleased to say that they have been and still are in the majority good Days!!

    Giving up smoking is a life choice that can only be made by the quitter and no one else; if however reading down beat threads kills your quit then you were never committed to your quit in the first place.

    But as we all know Good Days and Bad Days are what make a quit and if during my 9 weeks and 5 days (had to get that bit in LOL) of quit I had only come on here and threaded the bad bits any newbie would think that my quit was all bad so most Days I come on and say how good or bad it is today.

    So back to the point I think Jack is trying to make??? (Correct me if I’m wrong Jack, I feel a slap coming on LOL) is come on and yes tell us how bad you feel so we can support you but also come on and tell us how great you feel so we can celebrate with you and show new quitters that it’s not all doom and gloom.

    Also if some feel the site has lost its way then just look and see that we are all non smokers now and if the site helps one to keep on track then it is doing its job and as there are many more than one long term quitter on the forum then it’s doing a great job.

    So to finish to anyone who disagrees with my post, great come and tell me.

    And that’s another great thing about this site its freedom to say within reason what you think.

  • Hi Jack, and all to all other posters on Jacks brilliant thread, before I write any more I would just like to say this is my opinion uninfluenced by any and showing no favouritism LOL

    I think to some extent Jack has a valid point and that maybe a few have misconstrued his thought provoking intentions, we all at some point while using this forum have bemoaned our quit and if we check back in our early threads most of us will see that’s true ( I moaned lots LOL ) and as a few have pointed out this is what the forum is about and intended for quitting smoking, it is to give us somewhere to come to moan, groan, check that how we feel is “normal” and to some extent I believe to so******e with people who are also going through the mostly hard process of becoming a non smoker.

    But if you were new on the forum and all you read was how bad it is to quit and every thread was negative you would I’m sure feel slightly daunted by the prospect.

    Not only do we need to read how bad some days can be we also need to read how fantastic other days of our quit have been, mostly for me I’m pleased to say that they have been and still are in the majority good Days!!

    Giving up smoking is a life choice that can only be made by the quitter and no one else; if however reading down beat threads kills your quit then you were never committed to your quit in the first place.

    But as we all know Good Days and Bad Days are what make a quit and if during my 9 weeks and 5 days (had to get that bit in LOL) of quit I had only come on here and threaded the bad bits any newbie would think that my quit was all bad so most Days I come on and say how good or bad it is today.

    So back to the point I think Jack is trying to make??? (Correct me if I’m wrong Jack, I feel a slap coming on LOL) is come on and yes tell us how bad you feel so we can support you but also come on and tell us how great you feel so we can celebrate with you and show new quitters that it’s not all doom and gloom.

    Also if some feel the site has lost its way then just look and see that we are all non smokers now and if the site helps one to keep on track then it is doing its job and as there are many more than one long term quitter on the forum then it’s doing a great job.

    So to finish to anyone who disagrees with my post, great come and tell me.

    And that’s another great thing about this site its freedom to say within reason what you think.

    All I can say right now is HALLELUJAH This is exactly what I'm saying we should be posting good days and bad days and also coming on here to support the newbies who are having bad days. Not just coming on here and complaing about our bad days and only using the forum for that purpose and please that statement is not directed at anyone in perticular it happens with a small minority.

    Jack xx

    Thank you Jamangie for you help to explain maybe what I was trying to.

    Jack xxx

  • by the way Jack!... congratulations on your 3 months quit.

    I know its 10pm tonight n stuff, but wanted to give you a shout out now as its such a great achievement and didn't want to leave it til most folk are in bed :)

    3 months is 3 months!!

    well done that man!!

  • Well done on your 3 months Jack :D

    Gaynor x

  • hi again Jack

    Congrats on your three months, bet it never felt like you would get there at the beginning did it.

    Thats my next milestone cause thats when quacks put you down as non smoker, the cheek of it LOL

    Have a good one and no you know what hee hee

  • Hi Jack, and all to all other posters on Jacks brilliant thread, before I write any more I would just like to say this is my opinion uninfluenced by any and showing no favouritism LOL

    I think to some extent Jack has a valid point and that maybe a few have misconstrued his thought provoking intentions, we all at some point while using this forum have bemoaned our quit and if we check back in our early threads most of us will see that’s true ( I moaned lots LOL ) and as a few have pointed out this is what the forum is about and intended for quitting smoking, it is to give us somewhere to come to moan, groan, check that how we feel is “normal” and to some extent I believe to so******e with people who are also going through the mostly hard process of becoming a non smoker.

    But if you were new on the forum and all you read was how bad it is to quit and every thread was negative you would I’m sure feel slightly daunted by the prospect.

    Not only do we need to read how bad some days can be we also need to read how fantastic other days of our quit have been, mostly for me I’m pleased to say that they have been and still are in the majority good Days!!

    Giving up smoking is a life choice that can only be made by the quitter and no one else; if however reading down beat threads kills your quit then you were never committed to your quit in the first place.

    But as we all know Good Days and Bad Days are what make a quit and if during my 9 weeks and 5 days (had to get that bit in LOL) of quit I had only come on here and threaded the bad bits any newbie would think that my quit was all bad so most Days I come on and say how good or bad it is today.

    So back to the point I think Jack is trying to make??? (Correct me if I’m wrong Jack, I feel a slap coming on LOL) is come on and yes tell us how bad you feel so we can support you but also come on and tell us how great you feel so we can celebrate with you and show new quitters that it’s not all doom and gloom.

    Also if some feel the site has lost its way then just look and see that we are all non smokers now and if the site helps one to keep on track then it is doing its job and as there are many more than one long term quitter on the forum then it’s doing a great job.

    So to finish to anyone who disagrees with my post, great come and tell me.

    And that’s another great thing about this site its freedom to say within reason what you think.

    Hi Jamangie :D

    HOORAY At last someone who knows what jack has been trying to say on this thread as have I this place is here to help people quit but it doen't have to be all doom and gloom we're always here to help people along but we also like to help them celebrate not only the milestones but the good days people have along the way especially in the early days they mean so much then to everyone but maybe especially the newbies who need to know that we do all get really good days among the bad even early in our quits

    I know when I first stopped it sometimes was the only thing that kept me going I'd come here feeling really bad or down and read not only the people at around the same time quit as me but further ahead and I could see there were good times to come for me as well

    Do you have any idea how good that made me feel way back when

    This is why it saddens me that many people now only post when things are bad for them as they should of course to get help and support but pleas also post the good things that happen along the way even silly little things like how good it feels the first time you reply to the offer of a fag with NO THANKS I DON'T SMOKE I still remember how good it felt the first time I said that to someone

    Just silly things that made you fell better it all helps those coming up behind you to see that there is a life after fags

    Thanks for reading

    Love

    Marg xx

  • Goodbye

    I'm sorry to post this, and i've struggled with whether I wish to post or not, but as i've decided to quit the forum apart from a couple of milestones I wish to post on I feel I have to.

    There have been plently of good posts. Sometimes the forum goes quiet for a few days but that has always been the case. The main posters on this thread have been longer quitters, not the newbies. And a newbie who posted has not really been given much of a reply. Just ridden over by the further comments of how negative the place has become. I know of people who now won't post negative comments on here because of this thread. Despite how you bag it up it still comes across that people shouldnt moan all the time even though we tell people to rant and rave.

    I dont like to see veiled comments about coming to see someone about the contents of their post. It saddens me to see that some people have been pushed away from this forum for not having the freedom of speech that is so clearely going on here. There is a serious issue regarding who is allowed to say what and what the moderators moderate. I think that this post has a had a negative not a positve effect for some quitters and that is what we have always tried to avoid.

    I know i'll be shot down in flames. But to be honest? The spirit has gone from here for me. The forum will go on in another format. Just not one I will be participating in.

  • Fi, no don't go. Please. Pretty please.

    I also am finding it difficult to stick around here at the moment but don't we know by now the that the forum ebbs and flows, changes and then changes back and when it changes back again it will not be as good without you here. I agree with you completly that anybody should be aloud to post how they feel and if this thread has stopped people from doing that then this thread should be pulled now.

    There is a place for fun and giggles and laughs and that place is in the General forum, there is also a place for rants and raves and that place is wherever someone feels like it.

    I stopped smoking 6 months ago, and without this forum I would not have managed to this, if I came to the forum today and read that I was only encourged to post when I was happy, or even worse, post I was happy when I was not I don't think I would have stuck around.

    Fi, please don't go, the forum needs you, we need you, I need you.

  • Oh dear. I'm sorry, I can't sit back and watch this. Jack, I still love you to bits but I am desperately sad that your thread has resulted in this.

    Fiona, don't go. You have been a tower of strength and support to so many, which includes me.

    And Titch love, don't take anything personally.

    TBH I haven't found this forum a helpful place to be for a long time. I have lost my quit again due to some devastating family news and this place would be the last place I would look for support because frankly I feel it's just not there.

    There are new threads, but they get lost very quickly. There are some who seem to pick a forum at random of an evening and bump up nearly every thread in that forum. I counted 17 in 30 minutes one evening. And due to that all the new posts of the day disappeared.

    Whether the forum is just too big or badly managed I don't know, but it's certainly not the friendly helpful place it once was.

    Sorry if my opinion is unpopular, I just can't stand seeing people upset or alienated, it shouldn't happen.

    Jenni xx

  • Jack has left the building.

    Bye

  • This is not the real world, I've checked!

    I really do not get involved in the politics of this board (and yes there are politics because it's human nature), however I think some people are forgetting 2 vital points about this board.

    1. This is not the real world, this is an internet support board. In reality there is a good chance most of us would not be 'friends'. So I have no idea why people get overly sensitive.

    2. We have all given up a drug, that makes us tetchy, intolerant AND moody.

    There are days we have all thought about either jumping from the roof or murdering someone and we come on here to rant or cry. Unfortunately with the whole quit process we have more bad days than good, hence the reason for so many negative posts.

    However some posts may start out negative and become fun (remember the marmite thread!). Obviously some go off on a personal vendetta but that is just personality clashes with some people needing to get a grip.

    This board is fine, it works and there are some weird and wonderful people on here but let's face it this is an internet board not the real world. This is our ‘Life on Mars’.

    Jack – I am disappointed you feel the need to suddenly go, especially when you received a great deal of emotional support from the people on here in your ‘hour of need’ and the whole 2 word good bye Jack for me is not fair on the people that supported you, but I bid you good-bye and good luck as I have never been one for drama.

    If we wanted a 'happy' board we would have carried on smoking! (I'M JOKING):)

  • Ok..........I think this thread needs to be allowed to die off naturally now. It all went a bit pear shaped and some of us got upset.

    Maybe it's a full moon, who knows?

    So cup of tea, choccy biscuit, deep breaths, and lets all get out the right side of bed tomorrow.

    Jenni:)

  • I've been on this board for a while.

    I've seen the forum wars, the spamming, the banning, the veg quiz, the moles, the public displays of affection and the cats.

    In my period of patronization I've seen it go from a fluffy, huggy, group-hug sort of place to a clinical, technical information sort of place but at all times it's been a place of support.

    Loads have reached the penthouse and most that do then get on with a normal smoke-free life and just pop in here once in a while to say hi.

    The forum is pretty much staffed by those just a little further on up the road with their quits, there is no formal hierarchy and some people just end up as givers to those needy takers.

    There will always be friction and there will always be high points and low points.

    This isn't the first bleak patch and it won't be the last.

    Personally my current mission in life is to see Champix and NRT consigned to the history books and it is imperative that independent(ish) forums like this are available to offer balanced views of the whole business of quitting.

    We did go through a period where there were so many aliases on here that there may have only been half a dozen genuine members posting yet recovery has happened.

    The important thing to remember is that in amongst all the cut & thrust of forum larks there are little cries for help getting lost in the dark and that should never really be allowed to happen. Even if you're having day 6 jitters there's a helping hand you can offer to a scared day 1 person.

    Wasn't it JFK who said,

    errrrr

    "Ask not what your forum can do for you; ask what you can do for your forum."

    If it wasn't him I'm sure it was someone just like him. ;)

  • Well said Austin and it was probably you cause you just said it, lets get on with the quit and help anyone on the road behind us to stay quit.

    Hi Jack jack hope you are staying of the choccy and that Vi is not trying to encourage you in wrong doings???LOL

  • Wot me Jamangie, as if? How very dare you? :eek::eek: :D: lol

  • Golly Vi I wish I had read the previous threads befor I posted as I didnt realise this had turned into a war LOL Hope you are well and wish Id never posted on this one at all oops did I make it worse was actually trying to make it better LOL

  • You have made nothing worse Jamangie sweetie, I was only teasing you (as you and I do all the time - I enjoy it!!) Sorry if you thought I was being serious, I promise that was not the case at all. Things have got a bit fraught today on the forum I think, but that should not stop the rest of us from having fun and messing around. I will put joke besides it next time lolololololol

    I'm fine thanks hun and hope you are too - continue having fun, I'm sure the fraughtness will all pass soon enough and as my friend Zozie says, boing!!! xxxx :) :) :)

  • I'm not really sure that the thread title is a encouraging title whatsoever... As one of the current long term oldie users here it's been my experience that the Forum goes through ups and downs. No real reasons why that should occur...it's just life. Although you could say that the busy times are generally January and March for obvious reasons. Inbetween there is generally a lull. Then after March and the influx of newbies the forum settles down and folk get on with their quits.

    To open a thread and basically berate members to post and post postively is self defeating....people will do that or not. Generally smokers are fairly strong characters and defintely going through their quits smokers are more outspoken in the main. Maybe doesn't hold for everybody but the vast majority are that way inclined. They'll post if they wish to...but they certainly wont be forming queues when a thread actively berates them about their style of posting and possibly state of mind as they are going through that quit.

    Some say that the fun has gone from the forum. Well fun is generated by the users. It doesn't get shipped in by outsiders...it's the participants. If it's doom and gloom then look no further than yourselves. Don't complain 'cos others aren't organising your fun...just fekin' do it yourself and don't complain about it. But as we all know there are severe strictures put in place by NSD and enforced by the Mods. Such is life...and as one person was fond of saying...it's NSD's forum and they can do what they will.

    At any one time there are a few differently personalities here...and rightly so 'cos that's what life is like. But just like in real life we don't have to be mates with everyone. Why should we have to...this isn't a social club...this is a non smoking forum. If you are expecting everyone to be united in some spirit of camaraderie then your disllusioning yourself..ain't gonna happen.

    There seems to be a sly dig at oldies being or not being here. Overwhelmingly the noise of members comes through that it's appreciated that oldies are around to help out, pass on the success messages, keep a continuity to the Forum. I only am aware of one oldie that seeks to exert her influence overly in an ownership style. You gotta remember that this is volunatory work...its our gift to give...but more importantly not expect a return for that, because nobody told us to post.

    There you go, fellow members...read, moan...whatever.

    Cav

  • As ever Cav, well said.

  • Hi Cav not realy sure wether that was a good or bad post as a follow on from Jacks as his was so far back and couldnt be bothered to go and read it again LOL me and Vi love the forum and dont think its gone off do we Vi its everyone else whos paranoid (hold on are they talking about me ) LOL

  • Lovely to see you LOL-ing of an evening, Jamangie.

  • I am pleased you missed me and there is nothing better than a good Lolling LOL and glad to see you are having some R & R time

  • ... you missed me...

    A bit presumptive....tut.

  • Gosh Cav stop using big words, I thought you said Pre Scrumptious

  • Only if you start using grammar ;)

  • hi jack

    not been on here for a while as I am still busy with cat training. by the way what a beutyfull cat you have posted on here.hope thigs are going well, we are both at 3 months. bet your wallet is feeling fuller lol mine would have been but what I have saved has already been spent on cats lol. they are worth it. anyway heres to month 4 soon be there yeaaa

    Sue:)

  • Lots of people found the conga thread entertaining and light hearted... gosh you cant win can you...?

    Then you have the fun police popping in to ban the conga..... Sorry i bothered trying to lighten anything up from the spiral of despair and breakdown

    Bye!

  • You all post far more clearly than i! I agree with it all. And titch, the little voice crying out, please post back re your quit.. Jase, i've just read your post regarding forum breaks. You speak much sense sir. X

  • Nothing whatsoever wrong with you starting a conga thread but just one thread in general would have been enough.

    I've tried to delete all the other threads. It wont let me.

    I feel hugely emotional now. This used to be somewhere i came to forget about the cravings and now its pointless,... cant do bloody right fer doing wrong.

    It wasn't even my disagreement to start off with.

    Just no point really is there? :(

  • I've tried to delete all the other threads. It wont let me.

    I feel hugely emotional now. This used to be somewhere i came to forget about the cravings and now its pointless,... cant do bloody right fer doing wrong.

    It wasn't even my disagreement to start off with.

    Just no point really is there? :(

    Frankly I think your crazy, and you make me laugh:D The Octo and Novo gangs seem to be doing very well so do not take offence and each to their own. xx

  • Zozie don’t let anyone upset you this post should now be deleted by the Mods as it is causing way more upset than it warrants Jack never meant it to upset anyone he was just voicing an opinion and it got out of hand but it is continuing to hurt people and alienate them from each other.

    This is surely a big enough site to have whatever helps there quit and if we all spent as much time helping each other as on this petty bickers quits would be far less painful for some.

  • I'll second that Jamangie, Mods please get rid of this whole thread as it is of no help to anyone at all.

    I don't think Jack would be upset by it's removal either.

    I think everyone has had their pound of flesh now so could we just stop. Please.

    I can't believe Zozie has been upset now. She's the happiest cheeriest member this place has and her posts brighten up the worst of days.

    Please get rid of this. It's awful.

    Jenni

  • I am sparing jack a thought here right now anyway as i actually believe 100% he had good intentions while posting this thread. He cared enough about the forum to voice something that was troubling him, i commend that!!

    Alot of folk posting here rely on the stability of the place.. seeing the same folk's names replying to posts helping, and indeed seeing folk progress through their quit too and posting as they go. I've found myself more content when i see someone i saw struggling on day 3 suddenly posting to say 'hey i'm now on week 5!!! whoohoo!!'... i like that.. reminds me of my own quit early on, and i like to see folk succeed.

    That said i also see folk who really struggle, and not just a bit.. some have such a big wobble they cave in and smoke and as i've been there.. right there where they got to.. i know the feelings they go through when they cave in like that.. and its so very hard to claw back, but very admirable when they do. Sometimes a quitters success is strengthened by what they learn after some of the stumbles, and thats why the support here is so very much needed. So aye, folk will post both positives and negatives about their quit, its what helps other folk understand what goes on in a quit, and you need to see both positive and negative posts so you don't feel you are in some way unique for feeling really depressed when you should be celebrating a milestone, or for feeling really bouncey when other folk around you are really suffering some quitting symptoms.

    Every quit is different, as are the people who post here, but at the end of the day we are going to get the odd conflict on here, and with us mixing an addiction into the mix too, its not surprising the odd bit can get out of hand. So i do hope folk can see it as just that, and come back after a lil' time away.. folk aint so bad.. we're all after the same thing here aint we eh?

    oh and one last thing...

    I care.

    jase

  • I really hope that this thread does not get pulled or indeed locked!

    This thread actually contains the essentials of what folk should consider as a basis for creating a thread as well as being a member of a forum...and by that I mean a useful member. Instead of this slap dash write guff and hit submit with no consideration whatsoever.

    There's a reason that there is the 'Preview Post' button...as there is a reason that we have brains and cognitive processes. Use them :cool:

  • Closed as this is now going round over the same ground, but not removed as there are some good sensible posts contained within the thread.

    Edit: Having contacted the OP Jack about this thread he would rather it remained.

    He states that although the thread developed in such a way that it no longer represented his initial post, there are still many truths even if there also some parts which are not nice.

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