what happens if you can't see a reason to quit

Well, my question is in the title!

Everyone says you have to WANT to quit, well actually I have been told I must quit, but I just don't get it!

Having said that I have been through the process of quitting and I am no day 5, I am not sure that I could have done that unless I wanted too, but ...

is there anyone else out there that doesn't have the conviction to quit but is still doing it? is it that I just don't see it?.

15 Replies

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  • i think thats why i failed the 1st three times before i came here, because i couldnt think of anything, at the time though i had a girl (not no more) and then i started strining things onto that ie, kids, there kids, work, life in general, it all gradully made sence.

    so i think you should do what i did, think of your other half and then string togher the benifits of what everything could lead to

    hope this helpes

    Geoff

  • To be honest when I first started quitting it was just to see how long I could do it for not because i really wanted to. A few of us in work thought we would give it a try for no smoking day that was march 2007. i found this place and lasted 6 months. Then I failled but really just could not stop trying to quit. I smoked 40 ciggys a day for 35 years this time been smoke free for not far off 14 months, So it can be done if you want to or just try to. Just take one day at a time dont even think about next week we dont know what will happen. My brother never smoked in his life his wife left him with 5 kids and he now smokes about 20 a day. (mad) xxxx

  • Can't say I meant to quit, thought I would give it go for the kids and OH. Well here I am, an ex smoker. I think I realised I would have to stop at some stage, and I don't want to go through the first week again, and now I will not have to!

    Have a read through other peoples reasons and read the links attached to the signitures and I think you will find lots of very good reasons to adopt.

    BTW day 5 is very impressive for someone who does not want to do it :D

  • I think it can be done with or without wanting to. However, there are (I would believe) key differences between the person one becomes at the other end.

    I'm a happy quitter. I'm delighted I've stopped, I don't really miss them, I don't crave them and on all honestly don't really think about them. I can happily sit in a smokey place with smokers without it bothering me or tempting me...I think that defines a happy quitter.

    If you HAVE to give up then there probably isn't the drive to. It doesn't mean you can't stop although it's more likely to be difficult. It in my opinion is very easy to break the nicotine addiction, proper nicotine withdrawal lasts a matter of days. It's then the breaking the urge, want and habit.

    I think of it as being a footy player. Age means you have to retire at a fairly early age; injury may stop one playing. However, there are other ways to enjoy footy whether it be a reporter, pundit etc. However, being an ex-player and being told you must never read the results, watch a game, talk about it .... etc... that'd become very difficult indeed.

    Unfortunately you can't retire from smoking and still enjoy it.

  • I spose we get told, unless we WANT TO QUIT, Unless we are 100 % behind our reasons for quitting we will fail and that has been bothering me,, I feel like just because I am still wanting to be a smoker I am setting myself up to fail, I am hoping something will happen over the next few days that makes me say, yep, this is good, this no smoking is great ....

  • I quit because I was told to for health reasons (COPD - vv scary). Like you I was very worried that I didn't have that "I really want to" mindset. In fact,at the beginning, if I could have and not made my health even worse I would have happily carried on smoking.:o

    Then, about a week or two into my quit something changed. I realised I could do it and wanted to carry on with my quit, it felt kind of precious and important to me. It still does now.

    Don't get too hung up on the urban myths of quitting. Your quit is yours, and each one is subtly different. The reality of this is that you CAN do it, especially with the support available here.

  • I don't think anybody is ever destined to failure, simply it will be more of a struggle for some than others. There's no doubt all kinds of psychology behind how easy/hard it may be based on individual personalities.

    I look at things very simplistically I try to break them down to little snippets that I can relate to and understand. 2 weeks ago the thought of not smoking scared the life out of me. I was always a "I'll do it tomorrow" because the thought of it today made me feel sick. I enjoyed smoking; I used to panic if I ran out of smokes. I stopped not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to due to my own health concerns and experiences/losses in the past. I stubbed a smoke out (as I had thousands of times before), screwed the last few up (and froze a few?!?)...that was nearly 2 weeks ago.

    My thinking was well that's it, no good worrying about it. I had nicotine withdrawal the same as we all do, I've maybe wanted to smoke a few times, but told myself it wasn't an option...that was kind of it.

    The only thing that was going to make me smoke was me lighting a cigarette; all I had to do was not do that. I could also control not buying them..that made it double easy. I treated it in much the same way as 'I'd like a Jaguar'. I can't afford one, however much I want one I'm not going to mug somebody for their keys. I just have to do without.

  • I think its because people say - You have to want to - that makes me lack confidence, but I have read here a few other people are a bit the same so I suppose that has boosted my confidence a bit, maybe I should not doubt the one day at a time.

    During other attempts to quit (by using NRT) I totally lost my temper, a very rare event, I lost it so badly a did quite a bit of damage and that is what made me start again, I felt I HAD to have that cig. to stop me losing my temper.

    This time with Champix, I don't feel like that at all, maybe I am a bit older now and can control the urge to throw something across the room! or Maybe Champix is great

    I noticed someone said that the ' proper nicotine withdrawal lasts for up to three days ' I have heard something very different to that from my health care team, they say that nicotine is gone from the body totally by day 3, withdrawal can happen up to week 3 and the nicotine receptors lay dormant at week 12 ish

  • I spose we get told, unless we WANT TO QUIT, Unless we are 100 % behind our reasons for quitting we will fail and that has been bothering me......

    There is some truth in that but it's not the whole truth and nothing but the :).....

    Due to dental problems and weak teeth and incidents in my teens (non smoking related) I decided to opt for dental work. It wasn't cheap and I was strongly advised at the time of quoting that if i went ahead then abstaining from smoking for a 6 to 8 week period was a must if I wanted to improve the dental work 'taking'.

    I wanted this treatment and reluctantly yet willingly knew I could manage to stop for a temporary period for up to 8 weeks. Then a logical part of me argued with me that if I could do that then why couldn't I carry on? Because I really liked smoking despite knowing quite clearly all the health problems it can and does bring? No excuse..... there comes a time.... try and see! OK then, makes sense.....

    What started off as a 'should' has now through sense and sensibility, become a 'will do'.....

    And here I am nearly 3 months later still not smoking and seeing....

    I was not 100% behind a quit at the start but for a first quit, I think I'm doing pretty good.

    Don't get concerned about others views of a 'black and white approach' ..... these views are to be read, digested and adapted to you and your quit, not have your life governed by :)

  • Hi.

    Well done on staying smoke free;)

    I was told by my doctor to quit for health problems. I didn't want to quit, but after about 1 week of thinking about quitting, I got up 1 morning and said I not going to smoke no more. I went to the doctors and got some patches and now 7 weeks on I still haven't smoked. I agree with Lillylongshanks, your quitting is only your personal quit as everyone is different.

    Must admit it was difficult to start with but now it is getting easier.

    Keep reading and posting messages on here as this is a brill site to be on for help, advice, support and friendship and having a laugh at other people's posts!!!. Also when on this site you know you are not the only person going through these horrible feelings!!

    Good luck. Keep up the good work and look forward to reading your messages.

    Ju x

  • Cant Type any more fingers ache LOL

    Come on if we are all honest we will say that although we want to quit there is a sneaky little part that wants to smoke but we know it is sooooooooooooo bad for us and WILL kill us if not today sooner than we want yes,

    So these thoughts will pass and you will feel better PROMISE lets start a group for nice smelling people LOL

    I’m really glad that you’ve quit

    Cause in the past you’ve smoked some sh**

    Smelly Hair Hands and Breath

    Shorter Life but longer Death

    Up the hills you’ve got no puff

    Smokers cough that makes you rough

    So pass each day without the weed

    Cause only then will you succeed

    So Bravo to all that now don’t smoke

    Cause early Death is sure no Joke

  • I don't think anyone 100% wants to quit.Even if you really want to, along the way of the quit you will probably change your mind several hundred times..... I wanted to, then didn't , then did again...Cos' we are addicts and we really believe it "helps" us, there is always that little bit of you that doesn't want to....As long as you have a little bit of "want to" you can do it!:D

  • I'd started a cough. A very worrying cough I thought could turn into something else. And my dad died of a heart attack, an 80 a day smoker. And my mum died of cancer. A 40 a day smoker.

    I had to. I didn't want to. And do you know, once I did stop this time, I was so scared that if I started again i'd always be a smoker I havent quit the quit. This forums members and the education provided on it taught me how to manage my craves and learn that I want to be quit.

    I now know, i will never smoke again.

  • The thought of Dying young is reason enough to quit

    Fiona you only need one reason to quit love and that is you, this is something that only we can do for ourselves and you are doing it then for the right reasons your Life is precious

  • I too had to stop smoking for health reasons, I have COPD and was afraid of smoking. My illness went from a diagnosis to being quite poorly in a couple of years so I did not get to enjoy the benefits of stopping but I remind myself that if I was still doing it I would without doubt be a lot sicker than I am. It does feel different at first not having wanted to stop I had to remind myself of why I was doing it frequently, then it sort of became the norm like most of you have said. Lots of education helped me and I still return to do some reading now and again. This website is where I get most of my help, reading, sharing and trying to help and encourage others.

    Keep sharing for my sake and others, the more we know about smoking and stopping it the more likely we are to remain free from it.

    Jackie

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