just thought i would check in. Stopped smoking 2 and a half weeks ago. Sorry not to have been active on the forum but been very busy. Loads of stress re work, upheavals in general and all the time I am thinking,things would be tougher if you were smoking. I used to think the opposite!!! i.e everything is going pear-shaped cos I am stressed without the fags. The truth is, bad things happen all the time, but also good things (maybe not as often tho'). I was out last night, happiy breathing in the 2nd hand smoke and fumbling with my lozenges. It can drive you crazy. in fact going out has to be the hardest thing, cos I don't feel like myself when I have no cig in hand in a social situation. Feel that my nerves are totally shot and am behaving like a nutter. Feel sort of naked (!). But, still I battle on, hoping that the rest of the world does not decide to section me.
All in all, it is very up and down in a nightmarish swirling full spin in the washing machine type of thing. Will it every stop? Hopefully it will get better with time. Someone wrote on the site that to get through the craving he inmagines himself riding a wave on a surf board. Thank you so much for that as I have used it many times so far. Great metaphor.
Anyway, well done to you all for doing so well. I will be more positive next time I post. Just feel like maoning today and my bf is sick of my mood swings and I fell resentful towards him for no reason at all. He still smokes, but he is not the die-hard I am and I don't mind seeing the fags lying about. I can handle it and he is sympathetic to a degree. I explained to him today how hard it continues to be and he said "Oh,I thought you would be feeling better by now. suffice to say i wanted to murder him, but decided just to injure him slightly! Actually, I just explained to him how bad I felt and that without the forum, I would feel really isolated in my suffering. So thanks a lot to all that post. I will try to be less self-obsessed and negative from now on and try to support others more. Rant over (collective phew!). Thanks for listening. My name is Rachel Mullen and I am a nicotine addict. But today I will not smoke.