Getting harder and Harder

Hi guys,

Bit of an act of desperation tbh. Im on patches and ive had to go back to step 2 because i couldn't handle step 3 yet.

Problem is it's getting harder every day, My mental state is diminishing and im becoming someone I dont want to be. My girlfriend is pregnant and as much as I dont want to stress her out I think Im taking it out on her.

I dont know what I expect you guys to say but I really need help because Im not this *hole im turning into!

Thank you all!

Darren

12 Replies

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  • Hi Darren, I am so sorry to hear you are struggling big time, I’m not sure what I can say really as I went CT so have little or no advice about NRT, but one thing I will say which may come across a little harsh but not intended to I promise is this.

    Firstly you have made a conscious decision to quit smoking and as far as I can make out you are probably a young adult, about to have your first baby?

    Also your girlfriend although probably pleased you are quitting hasn’t forcefully made you quit, so doesn’t really deserve that you are maybe being a bit hard on her when she is possibly feeling a bit sh*tt* herself.

    Ok that’s as bad as my little nag gets, when we quit smoking (how long with you I don’t know maybe 7 to 14 days) it is not easy for any of us and some people do have problems with aggression and anger management but we are in control so therefore have to be more responsible for our attitude towards others and except that how we react is totally down to us and our own personalities.

    A few things that you can change if they are a problem is your bodies fluid intake ie are you getting enough water and iced water is good if you sip not gulp it, helps a lot.

    Also try and make sure you are eating as healthily as you can, and also exercise is a great way to create a strong and long term quit as it helps to get rid of the toxins that we have allowed into our bodies from smoking.

    If you are not fit at the moment start slowly maybe when you really feel cravey go for a brisk walk and take some deep breaths, well that’s probably as much as you want to hear for now so keep us posted and hope to hear that things are settling down and you are feeling better and congrats to you both with the baby x

  • Chin up my friend ...

    Hello there Darren.

    Just to introduce my self, I'm Jodi and geez do I understand what you mean!! I am cold turkey but I think it is all relevant as we all seem to experience similar symptoms just at different stages depending on what method of quit we are using (from what i can tell from this forum).

    Firstly can I say WELL DONE YOU, YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING AMAZING!!!!! :D There is nothing wrong with going back to whatever stage you feel comfortable with as long as you keep the quit up. It will be beneficial to go forward at some point though as you will need to get the inevitable out of the way and i am personally a great believer in getting things over and done with asap!! Your mood swings are to be expected and I am sure you do feel guilty for seemingly taking it out on your pregnant g/f but hopefully she (and you) will realise that this won't last for ever and what you are doing is soooooooo beneficial to your baby. It will grow up in a smoke free environment (I presume your g/f doesn't smoke) and will not be subjected to all the nasty posions etc ... or have a smelly daddy!! ;)

    I have found quitting very tough but I am keeping it up as I know it is all for the best in the end .. you only have to listen to others on here who have been quit for some time to know it is worth it in the end. I understand how you feel like you aren't yourself at the moment ... I have experienced that massively but do you know that slowly I think I am changing and developing into a better person for quitting ... I have time to have new interests and fill my time with much better pastimes than smoking. You too will start to find this ... just think that soon you can fill the empty moments with a new baby!!

    Your g/f will be going through a transformation being pregnant so just go with it .. you are both on a journey where things in your life are changing .. go with it.

    It will get easier Darren and with the very special reason you have to quit just keep reminding yourself of that.

    There is so much support on here so keeping coming on and getting support and there are lots of people who have useful links that will help you.

    All the best Darren .. I hope you will stay and let us know how the baby journey goes.

    xxxx :p

  • Hi Darren i know what u mean about 25 day's for me without a cigs and i am ready to scream shouting at the cat u name it i am doing it i am on Champix but i think we all go threw the same thing's so what ever u are going threw remember so am i Good Luck

  • Cheers guys

    Thank you all so much for all the advice/opinions/experience. I find it difficult to find the time to do anything other than work (70hrs a week) and trips to and from the hospital (my gf is diabetic so we almost live there) Plus working away from her doesn't help. I cant help feeling that if I could irradicate to continous 'missing something' feeling I could cope alot better. I am going to start sipping my water as suggested and I will go for a long walk at least once a week. I am litterally willing to try anything

    I am never this open about anything so I thank you all for being so helpful and such nice people!

    Darren

    ps no my gf doesnt smoke, that would definately push me over the edge!

  • Hi guys,

    Bit of an act of desperation tbh. Im on patches and ive had to go back to step 2 because i couldn't handle step 3 yet.

    Problem is it's getting harder every day, My mental state is diminishing and im becoming someone I dont want to be. My girlfriend is pregnant and as much as I dont want to stress her out I think Im taking it out on her.

    I dont know what I expect you guys to say but I really need help because Im not this *hole im turning into!

    Thank you all!

    Darren

    Hi Darren, I'm on the patches (5mg) and the gum..but I too am finding it increasingly more difficult...don't know why!!! Thought it would be getting easier by now and I've just done two months....

    Does it never get easier anyone???

    Nicki

  • YES YES YES

    A MILLION TIMES YES

    It will not seem like it ever does at the moment but I and every one on this site will tell you it does, I will be 5 months the week after next and the thing with quitting it is a changing landscape all the time, and the dread and fear will go and the craves will get to be whispers and the health gains will increase and after each bad bit the good bits will get longer and longer.

    Like I always say you cant have the good days without the bad as you wouldnt know the difference, hang in there and you will not have to ask soon you will be doing the telling.

    And you young man need to slow down and make more time for your self or you want have a yourself to make time for.

  • Hi there ... just to say that this is something else I relate to and it is starting to go now so just persevere .. if you start again then you will still have to go through this feeling again if you quit again ... that's what keeps me going, telling myself that. It's a horrid feeling I know but it will slowly ease.

    All the best with it - sounds like you are a devoted partner and father -to -be. You are doing great.

    x :p

  • YES YES YES

    A MILLION TIMES YES

    It will not seem like it ever does at the moment but I and every one on this site will tell you it does, I will be 5 months the week after next and the thing with quitting it is a changing landscape all the time, and the dread and fear will go and the craves will get to be whispers and the health gains will increase and after each bad bit the good bits will get longer and longer.

    Like I always say you cant have the good days without the bad as you wouldnt know the difference, hang in there and you will not have to ask soon you will be doing the telling.

    And you young man need to slow down and make more time for your self or you want have a yourself to make time for.

    Thanks so much, that's good to hear...just keep getting down spells, particularly over the weekends...I know deep down it will get easier and I have to stay strong xx

  • Hi daz

    keep going mate ....the moods arent as constant the more time goes on....the first week over is a good place to get ...You will start to feel happier about it ...& your nearly there..

    Congratulations with you pregnancy news ...& just think how you wont be a smelly daddy & how much you can spoil your new little one with your extra money ..xxx

    keep posting..:)

  • smelly daddy

    Thats twice now Ive been called a smelly daddy!!

    Again appreciate it all, and yes it is great to hear it gets easier...you would have thought 2 months would be easier than first 2 weeks?!?!

    Im looking forward to the 3rd month now, only 2 weeks to go! and Im going to keep reading the 6 month plus forum to keep me on it.

    Ill post back on here when my smoking craving is slowing and keep all of the quitters optimistic like you guys have for me!

    @JodiB ill keep you updated with our baby, ill try and post a pic of my smoke free family!

    @Nikiw we're in this together, for the long haul!

    And yes im the best boyfriend ever, ask my girlfriend, just not for a couple of weeks though ;-)

    Darren

  • Hi Darren i know what u mean about 25 day's for me without a cigs and i am ready to scream shouting at the cat u name it i am doing it i am on Champix but i think we all go threw the same thing's so what ever u are going threw remember so am i Good Luck

    That did make me laugh! Damn cats shouldn't be so annoying then!

    How is Champix working for you, ive got a mate who swears it's nothing short of a miracle but Im not keen on the idea of taking anti-depressants, I have an extremely addictive personality (as we all do!)

  • :DThats twice now Ive been called a smelly daddy!!

    Again appreciate it all, and yes it is great to hear it gets easier...you would have thought 2 months would be easier than first 2 weeks?!?!

    Im looking forward to the 3rd month now, only 2 weeks to go! and Im going to keep reading the 6 month plus forum to keep me on it.

    Ill post back on here when my smoking craving is slowing and keep all of the quitters optimistic like you guys have for me!

    @JodiB ill keep you updated with our baby, ill try and post a pic of my smoke free family!

    @Nikiw we're in this together, for the long haul!

    And yes im the best boyfriend ever, ask my girlfriend, just not for a couple of weeks though ;-)

    Darren

    hi darren

    misread ure post thought u were on 4 days?? oops ignore me having a gone head day....well done into your 2 months .......I agree its is a bit of a downer when youre sat thinking how come its hasnt got easier ..well in honesty i think we just get used to it the more time goes by ...therefore it gets easier .....Keep going.....we are all doing so well:) *smelly daddy* 3 times now:D

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