Bad news..help may be required

I got into work. New idiot boss asks why am i not talking? and it is only polite to reply. Says i am going to have to talk in a minute as he has had a complaint about me....It is something I've seen before that says i looked scruffy (to be honest, i might have done ,as am past caring really) and as well as the unannounced disiplinary hearing, he is now going to have to SPI me for this. Basically this means any further mistake, tiny error that they can find, is used to sack you. Perhaps i should have waited to be sacked, which seems to be something that is inevitably going to happen, but i said "Do you know what? I have had enough"

only unfortunately it didn't quite come out like that....

And then i left. To which he said unless i write a formal letter i am absent without leave. To which i also told him what a nice man he is and that i have really enjoyed my time (two weeks) working under him, or something like that. And i waved pleasantly at him, sort of.

Then i finally actually left.

Now comes the worser part. At this stage i have to say all i felt is relief, blessed relief. However fag related thoughts kept creeping in and i went to Morrisons, not to buy ciggies just to buy a drink, i successfully avoided the cigarette counter, but then i happened to see one of my smoking colleagues who asked why i was not in work, and then GAVE ME A CIGARETTE, which i unfortunately smoked.

It was not particularly great, but there was something nice about it., and I am now slightly worried. I have no job now so can't afford to smoke...

I haven't bought any. And it is just going to be an unfortunate slip.,...But maybe i will need a bit of help.

19 Replies

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  • But the relief though. No more do i have to go in and be surprised by unexpected disciplinaries, no more grievances where everything you say is twisted around and used against you, no more will i be encouraged to believe that i'm really quite bad at my sh@t job after 5 years and that it's my performance which is the problem, No more do i have to have manaagers from elsewhere and people from head office pop in unannounced to try to find evidence of wrongdoing.

  • Chrissie you ARE one of my good buddies, you silly moo!I like everyone, and am friends with everyone. I think you are actually one of the very supportive people on here, and i think you are a person like me, who doesn't like arguments.

    No smoking for mE!!!

  • Hi Jude,

    Sorry that work had come to the point where you had to do that but well done for telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine. I am having a bad time at work, for different reasons & am looking flat out for another job now, but if there was any way I could do what you have done I would.

    Re the smoking. Ok you've had one but it doesn't mean you have to start again ok? Just enjoy the relief of not having to put up with their s**t anymore & remember you are one strong person for having such a good quit under your belt. Don't let them take that away from you as well.

    G xx

  • Thanks Gaynor . I kinda wish i hadn't said some of the things i said, but the writing was on the wall there. I was evidently the next to be ousted. I mean the guy has only ben there two weeks. I would imagine at the disciplinary hearing it would've all been onesided and a foregone conclusion.

    I just feel good to be out of it. I'll worry about the rest later.

    The one fag doesn't seem to have made me crave another so that is good.

  • Hi jude

    sorry to hear you felt the need leave work....well done however takes some guts:D

    The smoke you had..just a small not thinking straight one wasnt it? xx

    5 month quit is brilliant

    keep fighting the good fight :)

  • Hey Jude, just build on the positives- you're not craving more now because of 1 reckless smoke, which means you're not back at the hell of day one scenario. And- you're out of what sounds like a really unpleasant/bullying working environment. Did the "waved pleasantly" feel good? I have a previous boss that I'd love to have had the guts to wave pleasantly at.

    I don't know as you're so much further ahead than me, but I'd guess 5 months is a sound enough quit that this can easily be a moment of madness and you can carry on right as you were before

    Pols xxx

  • I got into work. New idiot boss asks why am i not talking? and it is only polite to reply. Says i am going to have to talk in a minute as he has had a complaint about me....It is something I've seen before that says i looked scruffy (to be honest, i might have done ,as am past caring really) and as well as the unannounced disiplinary hearing, he is now going to have to SPI me for this. Basically this means any further mistake, tiny error that they can find, is used to sack you. Perhaps i should have waited to be sacked, which seems to be something that is inevitably going to happen, but i said "Do you know what? I have had enough"

    only unfortunately it didn't quite come out like that....

    And then i left. To which he said unless i write a formal letter i am absent without leave. To which i also told him what a nice man he is and that i have really enjoyed my time (two weeks) working under him, or something like that. And i waved pleasantly at him, sort of.

    Then i finally actually left.

    Now comes the worser part. At this stage i have to say all i felt is relief, blessed relief. However fag related thoughts kept creeping in and i went to Morrisons, not to buy ciggies just to buy a drink, i successfully avoided the cigarette counter, but then i happened to see one of my smoking colleagues who asked why i was not in work, and then GAVE ME A CIGARETTE, which i unfortunately smoked.

    It was not particularly great, but there was something nice about it., and I am now slightly worried. I have no job now so can't afford to smoke...

    I haven't bought any. And it is just going to be an unfortunate slip.,...But maybe i will need a bit of help.

    hi Jude

    sorry about your job, all the past months has been a terrible experience for you and although it is not nice to be out of a job, this could be a blessing in disguisein a sick sort of way... sorry about your blip as well but to be honest the only thing that was nice about it was you finished it now you wont have another one now.

    Jude next few days will be difficult for you as you come to terms with what has happened, be strong Jude you are a strong lady you must be to put up with all that crap at work, hang in there you are 5 months into your quit and that is fantastic. A new job will come and you will be happy as Larry and all this will be behind you :)

  • It's weird. I'm not worried about starting smoking again. In fact i think i'm less likely to.

    Thanks guys. I am truly best off out of there.

    haha Pols He did like being waved at pleasantly. However not sure if I'm ever going to be able to get a reference ....:eek:

  • Hi Jude , sounds like you are better off not working there anyway.

    There are plenty of jobs out there and I am sure in the big picture you will be better off with your new lifestylew ...........smoke free and NOT working for a numpty .

    Keep smiling hun :D

    Trev

    20 a day for 30 years :cool:

    quit 28th april 09

    3 months patches

    NEARLY 9 months C.T

  • Well done Jude, I think you needed to get out of there for your sanity, you will get another job and be happy.

    Sorry to hear about the cig, I think it might be easier for you not to smoke now that you don't have all that stress to deal with as well.

    Wishing you all the best.

    Jackie

  • What would Superman do?

    I wouldn't worry about references. Most companies wont provide bad ones and more and more companies are providing standard ones.

    That means they'll either not respond or they'll give a standard "I can confirm that Barry worked for us between January 1845 and April 2010".

    One positive for many people of the current litigation culture. I guess in the extreme a person could try and take court action against a company or individual who prevented them from getting further employment due to a bad reference. Too much could be down to perception as opposed to statement of fact; there is a realisation that sometimes faces just don't fit!

    ...ok I'll put my anorak away now.

    HAPPY MONDAY and DON'T DO IT AGAIN....or I'll send Superman around.

  • Hey Jude,

    How's things going? In amongst all the emotional crap from your ex employer, I hope your staying strong with your quit and enjoying some sunshine.

    Pol x

  • Ok, I am stupid i know!!!!

    The very next day that i resigned (rudely i have to say)

    I was about to approach the joy of trying to sign on whilst walking out of job (not easy)

    When phone rang.It's idiot boss, almost begging me to come back as he has no-one to cover my shift..... I still didn't really want to. He said he was worried about me there with no money an no job and he would like me to come back...Could this be an apology, and promise of better treatment by sh't employer? I thought (stupidly)

    I may be stupid, but i went back. I've got a really bad cold and have worked every single day this week, even on my days off. Guilt tripped into covering a few hrs yest as apparently his mother is dying!

    He's still doing a lot of things which are surely bordering on illegality and harrassment.

    For example. We had the disciplinary hearing, await results of that but i have plenty of evidence to show no fraud has been committed, and i have taken unusable rooms off the system in the absence of no other way to do it, thus preventing overbooking.I even called him(idiot boss) as a witness to show that he knew there was summat wrong with one cos he fixed it. I went home, to be called back again! to cover that day!

    Apparently he never went home at 6 like he pretended to do. He crept back in and hid (am serious) in an offline room until he heard me leave left! and then stayed with my mate G until two! Also telling him he was going to deduct money from my wages for a room which he thinks no money has been taken for -This is not true, as it has been no showed and incurred a no show charge, i had been advised centrally

    We are both worried by this kind of harrassment/ stalking, surely illegal behaviour. G, my mate has also threatened to hand in notice, when he said he wanted to take him off nights.

    So have had no days off at all this week, despite a heinous cold, and seemed to have walked back into being treated like rubbish again.....

    They even want me to cover tonight.....

    May resign again! Or await being sacked! Or await them to treat me decntly in recognition of my worth as an employee....

  • But am not smoking....:D

    Also think stav what you said about references. Even if i await sacking, that i've been there five years which surely has to count!

  • Be careful ...

    Hi Jude,

    I am just dashing out the door but caught your thread and it really worries me. Haven't got time to write much now but you say you are collecting evidence ... i think you should seriously start keeping some kind of diary of your bosses behaviour ... and a record of anything you can remember. maybe get your friend G to sign the entries. Then when you start to see how terrible the behaviour is in your diary .. take it to the Citizens advice bureau and see if they think you hav e acase ofr a tribunal or something.

    This sounds like a really serious matter and I know how careful you have to be when a boss has it in for you. i had a boss once who made my life hell and he was crap at this job and used to blame his mistakes on me if he didin't get back to clients etc... I ended up having to go to a disciplinary and I suprised him by taking a three page document with evidence in my defence ... then I handed in a letter of resignation ... they were all little worried about the document so I got my references!! I have always prided myself on my integrity and dedication in any job I do and will NEVER forgive that arsxxole for how he made me feel.

    Do you work in the hotel trade? Pubs, hotels etc are notorious for management ripping the business off and blaming employees so be vigilant.

    I really hope you can find away out of this .. or a way for him to go. Perhaps you should turn the tables and start spying on him?!!

    Good Luck Jude ... It is so difficult in times of worry not to smoke so you are doing really well.

    Best wishes ... hope your cold gets better soon

    xxxx

  • Jodi, thanks. The thing is i have done all that already with the previous bad bully boss. He at least only threatened disciplinaries for ridiculous , trivial and fabricated reasons.

    I kept a diary of all his shenanigans, raised a grievance (WITH hr, AS I KNEW IT WOULD BE USELESS SENDING IT TO HIS MGR.) grievance referred to his manager(whos also a bully) whole thing including evidence of him swindling cash covered up. He is still employed. I am accused of having said racist things in hearing etc.etc , appealed and had an actual witness to bully boss wanting to get rid of me and employ polish girl, this time all the notes were doctored and had things i didn't say in them.....Grievance unfounded, but bully boss did resign.

    However new boss is WORSE! Not sure if i am being victimised for raising a grievance and threatening to raise further grievance when they reduced my hours again.

    Think the management culture is going that way. Maangers never lastl longer than a year anyway.

    have a good sex/race discrimination case from previous bully boss, but they took so long investigating i was out of time limit for tribunal. Just cant bear the thought of raising pointless grievance again.(you have to do it before you can take legal action)

    Think must just get out, but am going to try to save a little as i have hols coming up, and no cash

  • better off out of an organisation like that, sounds like their management is corrupt to the core, and you've probably only skimmed the surface of it.

    In this life you gotta look after number one. One of them bosses pushed you beyond what you could take once before, you lost a quit to it.. and thats enough.. you are better off out... regardless of financial hardship in the short term. or even money saved for hols.. you need peace of mind more.

    I so hope this sorts for you, because this seems a bit much for ya.

  • Doh! Hacked into mgrs emails (they don't give me any credit for being at least twice as clever as them) and found weasel idiot boss had sent details of complaint (about other things but saying i looked messy and had untidy hair, i fail to give a damn actually) to DM.

    Referred on to another hotel manager which is what they do before they send you a disci[plinary letter......How marvellous. Two disciplinary hearings in a few weeks. Weasel face only been there a month. At least am forewarned that that is what they are gonna do, so either have to await a disciplinary about my appearance (how mortifying and humiliating) leave or go off sick and stay off sick forever, which i have to timebefore i get the darn disciplinary investigation letter and also when i get the outcome of first disciplinary otherwise they can say you are awol and dock your pay....and they are very lovely people who will do this.

    Do i go to my lovely job today?

  • Forward the messages on to your comp from his, also if they are doing internal investigation on you it doesn’t matter if it takes ten years ACAS will look at it from the day that they give you written results and if they don’t you have an even bigger case.

    I worked for a big company and dealt with all there disciplinary procedures.

    You have a good case against them and could even get them for

    Forced Resignation/Constructive Dismissal after five years continuous employment.

    Whatever you do don’t just walk out, if you have to do that make him yell at you and make you cry then walk out, don’t mention giving notice and go straight home and make an appointment to see your Doc.

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