Am loosing the will to carry on now!

I quit on the 1st March [5 weeks today] and the first few weeks were quite easy, and i thought OK this is great I can handle the odd craving here and there, I can deal with it, I'll just keep busy and it will pass! which they did pass but now I feel I am sinking.

I burst into tears for next to nothing, I an so angry and get wound up so easy! I miss being able to lock yself outside in the garden with a cuppa and a cigarette to get away from it all.

I just don't think I could feel any lower than I do right now, I have been feeling like this for the last two weeks and I can't shake it off, I am missing it terribly! it was like it was something that was for me, that was mine and that I enjoy now its as if someone has cut of my legs or something I am getting so hacked of with feeling so shitty that i am almost tempted to give up on giving up! and just admit defeat! It all started so well but now I feel so depressed and tearful that i don't think I can continue fighting it anymore.

I am lost...

24 Replies

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  • Well done on coming this far Kerry. Sorry to hear you are struggling at the moment.

    Dont quit quitting hun x I think everyone on here can identify with what you are feeling, BUT it's them bloody little demons that are making you think you can't do this.... BUT YOU ARE STRONGER than that little demon.

    Stick with it and you will be sooo thankful that you didn't start again when this feeling goes ( and believe me, it will, and it won't take long... even though it feels like forever ) :rolleyes:

    Re-assess why you quit in the first place, read the links on here that are on the bottom of peoples posts.... READ READ READ AND READ SOME MORE!!

    Good luck with your future x ;) you know you can do this.

  • Kerry, you have come such a long way, and although you are feeling it right now, please try to hang on in there. You will be more emotional about things, but think of it as a big plus because all those receptors in your brain that were numbed by the nicotine have come alive, give them a bit of time to settle cos they will and things take a big up turn and you will feel great.

    I promise you it will get good. Give your brain a little time to adjust, try to get some positive things to think about cos once you start feeling down about things, everything seems cr*p. There are plenty of things that you can feel positive about, focus on them, the money you've saved, how much better you look and smell, people around you, family, anything and everything.

    DON'T THROW THIS AWAY!! Read some of the links, re-inforce the reasons you're doing this.

    Stick with it, you will be so proud that you did. I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but very soon this fog will clear and you will be so pleased you didn't throw all this away.

    Come on, you are going to do this,

    Lorraine :)

  • Hi Kerry so you are thinking of smoking again, the reason you decided to quit was???? And I swear to you that if you light up one cig you will regret it for the rest of your shorter life.

    Five weeks is great and it’s common to reach a point where you think that smoking was your only pleasure you had in your life.

    For example think how long it takes to smoke one cig = 3 mins and let’s say you smoked 20 cigs a day so one cig = 3 mins which equates to you being occupied for 60 mins a day with smoking what did you do for the rest of the day, you didn’t sit in a chair all day waiting for the next cig did you so that tells me you had a life with cigs so you must have one without as we all have now.

    I don’t know how old you are all I know is this is tough love and I don’t want you to smoke again.

    I smoked for 41 years and wish with all my heart I had never smoked and as I did I wish I had stopped years ago, I didn’t though so have to make the most of it and realise for our health and the health of our family we have to stay quit.

    Take a cuppa and go outside and take me time you don’t have to have a cig to have me time pm me if you are still struggling we will think of a way to keep your quit strong, xxx

  • No reason to feel lost, you've not picked up a smoke in 5 weeks and that's not lost....... it's great!!!! The road you are on right now can be tough and will be but with 5 weeks in you have to much time in to quit. Don't let the junkie thinking take over and tie a knot in that rope and hang on. BE STRONGER then the freakin tobacco the evil weed. Do not let yourself talk you in to breaking down.

    Goodluck and best wish's:D

  • Great post Jamange.

    STAY STRONG AND RIDE IT OUT

  • Remember '78 is the best year! Put a laccy band around your wrist and give it a ping when you have a craving. They'll soon stop. Not too sure on the emotion stuff though as I don't do emotions...don't the movies say that chocolate helps? :P

  • Oh somewhere on here you'll find my post around five weeks into the quit where I felt the same. To be honest now, I'm nearly two months into the quit and I have the odd craving but nothing serious...

    I sometimes indulge in chocolate or a lollypop and other times a wee bit of freshmint chewing gum and that helps. But tears are for a reason, let them out and you'll feel better. Giving up smoking is difficult and can be traumatic, there's little support in comparison to those giving up illegal drugs or alcohol but the come down is just as difficult.

    You're doing a fab job, keep it up and you will feel better in a few days - promise....

  • Great post Jamange.

    STAY STRONG AND RIDE IT OUT

    Thanks for that Angel and how true is that, that we get no support compared to other addictions that people try to give up, so well done to us all, we do it without the backing of any one but ourselves and this website so a pat on the back for all xx

  • HI Kerry

    Oh, I've been feeling the same the last few days, gave up the same day as you, it's been so disheartening. It's got to pass, we just need to grit our teetch and remind ourselves of why we're doing it, all of the time!

    Maybe it's the end of the honeymoon period when the cheesy 'I've stopped smoking' grin wears off and it starts to become normal. So that's good in some ways?

    I'm glad I read this today, it's good to feel I'm not the only one going through this.

    Keep at it eh?

    Catherine xx ;)

  • Kerry/Catherine

    This forum is your lifeline - when you think you are the only person in the world suffering these horrible ups and downs you come on here and there is always someone either just coming through it (to prove there is hope) or going through it (can completely empathise with you).

    It does get better - one day is good, one day might be bad but trust me, I've been on the emotional rollercoaster many a time over the past few weeks. In fact I'm still on it - just today its less of a bumpy ride :D

  • Hi Kerry and Catherine

    So sorry to hear of your struggles my heart goes out to you both. I have had a bit of a struggle lately and it’s not a nice feeling but dig deep remember why you quit and think about the positive parts of your quit so far. I am taking St Johns Wort and I am sure they have helped me to get rid of that tearful feeling.

    Keep posting as it does help to know that it is just not you who is suffering and maybe it’s just part of the healing process that we all have to go through (some more than others) but we will all come out the other side feeling so much better and free from the addition.

    Hope you are ok

    Take care

    x

  • Don't give in Kerry.

    Looking over my past posts it looks as though it is a "doddle" for me. It isn't, I still find it difficult. When it gets bad I literally hang on by my fingertips as I refuse to give in now. This is what you must do. I cling on to the times when I feel fine and confident and know eventually this is how I will always feel. Hang in there.

  • Hi, I cant add anything else except to say that I too went through tears and lows in the begining. There can contiue to be other hard times ahead, but push on through, the grass is indeed greener, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! Each time you beat the crave or the lows then you become stronger.

    This weekend for instance, i've stopped in a house where smoking is encouraged. There are free pots with fags and lighters in them. You literally can just smoke as many as you want. For free. And I dont mind telling you that it was damm hard coming downstairs on Saturday morning, no one around, free fags on the side....waiting to be smoked secretly. (I have always been a serial secret smoking quitter). I resisted but had cravings all day and into the evening where I partied with smokers and drank much beer and wanted to smoke. I didnt though. The crave went away. Just like that.

    I cant stress enough, that the more times you beat the crave the easier they become to manage in the future.

    Good luck xx

  • .

    This weekend for instance, i've stopped in a house where smoking is encouraged. There are free pots with fags and lighters in them. You literally can just smoke as many as you want. For free. And I dont mind telling you that it was damm hard coming downstairs on Saturday morning, no one around, free fags on the side....waiting to be smoked secretly. (I have always been a serial secret smoking quitter). I resisted but had cravings all day and into the evening where I partied with smokers and drank much beer and wanted to smoke. I didnt though. The crave went away. Just like that.

    I cant stress enough, that the more times you beat the crave the easier they become to manage in the future.

    Good luck xx

    Blimey Fiona, well done! I'm not sure I could have managed that scenario!

  • thank you! Its nice to get a well done even 14 months down the line! :)

  • hi, i cant add anything else except to say that i too went through tears and lows in the begining. There can contiue to be other hard times ahead, but push on through, the grass is indeed greener, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! Each time you beat the crave or the lows then you become stronger.

    This weekend for instance, i've stopped in a house where smoking is encouraged. There are free pots with fags and lighters in them. You literally can just smoke as many as you want. For free. And i dont mind telling you that it was damm hard coming downstairs on saturday morning, no one around, free fags on the side....waiting to be smoked secretly. (i have always been a serial secret smoking quitter). I resisted but had cravings all day and into the evening where i partied with smokers and drank much beer and wanted to smoke. I didnt though. The crave went away. Just like that.

    I cant stress enough, that the more times you beat the crave the easier they become to manage in the future.

    Good luck xx

    you are so strong !! I couldnt have done that.

  • I am so glad I saw this. I was literally just about to post the same thing. Man, I am struggling so much - I am about 1 more craving away from going to the shop to buy fags. I am so moody, depressed, getting fat and I MISS smoking.

    The only thing stopping me so far is DHs disapproval, which makes it worse.

    Help!!

  • HI Jooquit

    I'm the same, moody, depressed, angry and eating everything in sight so depressed about ! I can't say I'm thinking "gotta have a fag" but there just suddenly feels like there's something huge missing.

    I'm still on Niquitin losenges and keep thinking I need to reduce them but my smoking advisor said to lean on them through this rough spot and maybe even use a few more.

    I then think that maybe I would have been moody, depressed and angry anyway as I've a lot of stress on my plate just now. Maybe I'm putting everything down to stopping the fags?

    Sorry to crash your post Kerry! :) Let's all stick in and get through it, everyone says it passes and we'd feel so much worse if we threw away all this time?

    Catherine xx

  • Remember how you feel right now, never forget how this smoking addiction has made you feel, for years we voluntarily fed the addiction that has made us feel that way.. but now we've cut the supply or limited it (nrt) while quitting our body and mind go through a long period of re-adjustment.. we are retraining ourselves to live without smoking and some of it will seem like really hard work.

    Just get through today and tomorrow ? Well that you can look at once you wake up.. just look after the day you are on, and be proud of every day you remain quit.

    This feeling of unhappiness does pass.. especially once you realise that most of how you were feeling was caused by the addiction itself. Time heals these feelings, this is not how you are going to permanently feel. You will reach a point (not in too distant a future either) where you suddenly feel so much better about yourself, where you've got to with the effort you've put in and the folk around you seem to be treating you differently too.

    Hang in there , better is coming. You'll see.

    j

  • Sorry you guys are having a hard time, but it does get better.

    Digs in now and keep smiling, you should be a very very proud of yourselves, as I for one NEVER want to have to go through this again.

    Just think once you are through this phase you wont have to do it again, it is gone and behind you.

    Big hugs and lots of luck

    xx

  • Hi, I cant add anything else except to say that I too went through tears and lows in the begining. There can contiue to be other hard times ahead, but push on through, the grass is indeed greener, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!! Each time you beat the crave or the lows then you become stronger.

    This weekend for instance, i've stopped in a house where smoking is encouraged. There are free pots with fags and lighters in them. You literally can just smoke as many as you want. For free. And I dont mind telling you that it was damm hard coming downstairs on Saturday morning, no one around, free fags on the side....waiting to be smoked secretly. (I have always been a serial secret smoking quitter). I resisted but had cravings all day and into the evening where I partied with smokers and drank much beer and wanted to smoke. I didnt though. The crave went away. Just like that.

    I cant stress enough, that the more times you beat the crave the easier they become to manage in the future.

    Good luck xx

    Wow...that is real impressive. I would hope I could do the same but I am not sure. Amazing willpower Fiona....

    xx

  • I too quit on 12th March and have now got to that stage when I keep thinking..I can't go on....I won't have one, cos I don't want to waste all the hard work I have done...but at the moment it is getting increasingly more difficult....

    Thought by now the cravings might have eased off a bit...

    I have just spoken to an on-line advisor who says that the cravings peak up to six weeks in after you have quit...so I am almost there...just need to keep going....:confused:

  • Hello everyone, Thank you for all your lovely replys, I went to the doctors a few days after and was given diazipam which I took for a day and felt awful, I was still feeling awful, still crying over nothing but continued to avoid the cigs but I'm afraid I did however start smoking again and still am and feel like my old self, I am happier but my skins getting bad again, I am tight chested and already smoking as much as I did before so yesterday I went back to the doctors and told him I had to give champix a go and that I couldn't keep failing on patches.....so I may have started again but I am getting back on the wagon as of today.

    Just praying I don't have half the side effects that many have said about using champix.

    Again thank you to everyone and I am sorry I started again but I just couldn't stop crying, It was so hard. Will be back to this forum VERY VERY soon. :)

    Kerry X

  • If you were using patches, nicotine withdrawal is not the culprit for the way you were feeling. Do you think of smoking as something you're making a great sacrifice in giving up?

    If you're prone to depression when giving up smoking, watch your mood very carefully if you're going to take Champix.

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