New to this site

Hi Im new to this site, but not new to trying to quit. I have tried in the past champix, quit for a month felt brilliant about doing it, no more tablets and thought just a couple with a drink..... Tried hypnotherapy...waste of money,all I thought throughout session was i want a cigarette!!

Im now 15 weeks pregnant, i ve cut down to 10 or less a day, and im seeing the pregnancy smoking counsellor once a week. I managed to stop for three and half days, with patches and nicorette minis, but stress, my hormones being up the wall and being extra ratty i gave in. I hate being controlled by the horrible things, but I find i miss them so much when not having any. I know I have more of a reason than anything now to want to stop ( and I do want to stop) but i find it so difficult. My counsellor been today and gave me details to this site. She said to set myself another date and really plan for stressfull times. So Im hoping tomorrow I can do it! Any tips would be gratefully recieved.

21 Replies

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  • Hi Hun. I really empathise with you because I tried to quit during both my pregnancies (respectively 21 and 18 years ago). During the 2nd I was hypnotised - Alan Carr, didn't work - and felt AWFUL as I smoked for the duration of both. My only excuse (!!!!!!) was that it wasn't as taboo in the 80's and there was no pregnancy smoking counsellor, altho I'm sure that neither would have helped.:o

    Why have I suddenly succeeded 20 years later?

    Just one day at a time and reading the great stuff on this site. And, most importantly, the support I have received here. "I am not going to smoke today" has been my mantra for the past 102 days. It's a bit like eating an elephant - one small bit at a time.

    You CAN do this. For you, not just because you are pregnant. Take each day one at a time and you will succeed. Post often and lean on this forum. You will be fine.

    L xx

  • Hi, my advice would also be one day (or hour) at a time. Don't think of the big picture, just take it bit by bit. Read all the links on this site, read peoples posts both ahead and behind you, you'll see the ups and downs but overall you will see that there is a feeling of good, and that there are plenty of people to help with the downs.

    Feel good about yourself, do things that please you, plan ahead, do you like to read, play music, puzzles, dvd, games, food, whatever, think about what you like and have something at hand for when you are feeling a bit down and vulnerable. Try to stay calm, deep breath, listen to relaxation tapes, whatever works, and if you feel yourself panic, post on here and wait for replys, you will be blown away by the support.

    Remember, step by step, a bit at a time, you'll do great,

    Lorraine :)

  • Hi Desperate :D

    First congratulations on the coming baby

    OH I can empathise with you wanting to quit and like you I tried loads of times before but I have managed it at last and am almost 15 months quit

    We'll all help you as much as we can I promise you need never feel alone trying to cope with this OK

    I will say though that the fags don't help with anything at all so read the links I'll give you and the many in other peoples signatures and the posts on here get to know your enemy, learn about him and how he works having the knowledge makes the battle so much easier for you

    Below is my standard welcome and advice post which I try and give all new members

    Welcome to the forum and well done on the decision to quit possibly one of the most important you will ever make and you will be losing nothing but you will regain control of your life and that has to be good

    You will find all the help and support you need on here as we all help each other just like a family we are here for you every step of the way cheering the good days and sympathising with the bad but the good far outweigh the bad

    Read the posts on here you will find a lot of tips and advice and in the signatures of a lot you will find links to other sites just click on them Here are 2 I find very good to start you off whyquit.com and woofmang.com Read, read and then read some more as the more you read and learn about why you smoked and about your addiction the easier your quit will be

    This link is good for the psychological part of quitting whyquit.com/whyquit/A_Sympt...

    Post often to let us know how you're doing, to rant, rave have a moan whatever you like pretty much anything goes on here OK

    Love

    Marg

  • Thank you for your replies! Does the want and cravings ever go away? Im scared of constantly being on edge and anxious about wanting a cigarette, social situations being harder. With my first two I cut down, and the midwife said that having ten or less was better than coping with the stress i had at the time and then the stress of smoking. Both babies were healthy weights at 7lb9 and 7lb2. The benefits of not smoking will not only be good for the baby but long term for me. But all I hear is how even many years later people still crave one and every day is a battle. I want to be free and enjoy life not constantly live with wanting one for the rest of my life.

  • Try the links for a bit of reading in my signature... i used quite alot of the stress and craving tips i found in those, but alot of good advice i found just by reading posts on this very forum.

    You definitely want to stop smoking totally while pregnant though, to ensure correct foetal growth.

  • Hi, got a friend who gave up smoking 10 years ago, cos of health, not choice. She doesn't crave one or feel uncomfortable in social situations whether around smokers or not, she readily admits she enjoyed smoking and didn't quit out of choice, and the first month wasn't great, but she got on with it and 10 years on she hasn't been near one.

    I think the belief of the enjoyment takes over from the peril of addiction when you haven't had one for a while. It's only been a month for me, and I could, if I wanted, convince myself that I did enjoy it and that to have one would be nice, however, I can also remember that leading up to me stopping, in fact over the last 18 months, I was not a happy smoker. I felt a slave to the addiction and felt ashamed of the habit, and I didn't realise how much that affected my self respect and confidence.

    You may well have tricky times, but as long as you stay focussed on the job in hand, and all the ways in which being a non-smoker makes you feel good about yourself, and also the way you felt when you were a smoker, i'm guessing if you felt good you wouldn't be here? Remember all those feelings, our minds are clever at selective memory, write down your feelings, how you feel about smoking, and be as personal and emotional about it as you can, then you can read them back occassionally to remind yourself.

    I don't look ahead to next week, month, year. I stay focussed on today and tomorrow. Take it slow, do it for you and your family, you will feel a tremendous amount of pride.

    Lorraine :)

  • I haven't smoked for 3.5 months and can truely say that I don't crave them like I did at the start. Still think of the blasted things but not constantly, and sometimes fancy one the way you sometimes fancy a cooked English breakfast. I've no doubt that for some people, the crave may be a lifetime thing, just not for me and many others on here. (That said, I'm very aware that it would take just one ciggy and I'd be back to the 20/day within24 hours).

    What the others have said works, just one day or hour at a time - heck, for the first few days I was just "not having one at the moment". The crave passes - it's a temporary thing (which last forever). Think about it, you don't wake up every hour or two during the night for a smoke do you?

    Do what others have said, read and post on this site, and read the links, it's all about knowing your enemy.

  • Thank you for your replies! Does the want and cravings ever go away? Im scared of constantly being on edge and anxious about wanting a cigarette, social situations being harder. With my first two I cut down, and the midwife said that having ten or less was better than coping with the stress i had at the time and then the stress of smoking. Both babies were healthy weights at 7lb9 and 7lb2. The benefits of not smoking will not only be good for the baby but long term for me. But all I hear is how even many years later people still crave one and every day is a battle. I want to be free and enjoy life not constantly live with wanting one for the rest of my life.

    Hi I can see why you call yourself desperate.

    Okay first lets take this quote "But all I hear is how even many years later people still crave one and every day is a battle." Yes you will hear this from some people. I have now been stopped for only 10 weeks and if you read some of my posts you will see over the last 3 weeks I have had some really bad problems. I'm still not smoking and I don't want to smoke, the last few days have been good but today has been "I want something. The thing is if I get this feeling now it's easly controlled. So I can't see how people who have stopped smoking can say they still crave one after so long. I think what they are saying is I would like to smoke again because they never really wanted badly enough to give it up in the first place.

    If anyone thinks I'm wrong tell me to shut up.

    My next question and this is not directed at you is this. A reliative of mine was a drug addict and she gave birth to a daughter. The daughter is now in her late 20s and is in an institution/hospital and has to be taken care of 24 hrs a day. This was the result of her mother taking drugs when she was pregnant.

    I know that is extreme and smoking would not do that to an unborn child. But is it possible the the unborn child when born could be addicted to nicotine and when they get older could one puff start them smoking? Big question.

    Anyway after all that keep trying you will get there if you are serious about stopping, I more or less have quit first time. I believe that is because I really wanted to but you have no idea how many times I said "I would love to quit but I know I can't" Now I believe it was mostly me telling myself I can't and others believe the same, we can all quit if we really want to.

    It does take a while but the cravings do go away, I know I am that soldier:D

    Jack xx

  • Jack I'm sorry but that is pants, and not helpful to boot. It's a big enough guilt trip smoking whilst pregnant. I smoked thru 2 pregnancies and was very fortunate to have healthy kids. They are now 18 & 20. I know that both of them have tried smoking in their early teens. But neither of them became addicted znd they don't smoke. In contrast I have friends who have never smoked and their offspring do. There really is no easy logic to it.

  • I meant the 2nd half of your post was pants. The first bit was spot on.

  • Unto yourself be true

    Hi all what can you say to that LOL

    Must admit its not easy to give up but I had 5 Beautiful sons and refrained from smoking with them but continued after they were born so maybe thats the way to play it, say you will give up while you are pregnant for the baby and smoke after or not depending how you feel when you have had the baby, maybe that way you will feel less under pressure to quit.

    Whichever way you will have the backing of all of us on the forum and whatever happens there will be a post on here that you can relate to day or night and some one to chat to. Congrats on the baby and no matter what we say on here you will do what you feel is best for you and what you feel comfortable with but best wishes which ever you choose.

  • Jack I'm sorry but that is pants, and not helpful to boot. It's a big enough guilt trip smoking whilst pregnant. I smoked thru 2 pregnancies and was very fortunate to have healthy kids. They are now 18 & 20. I know that both of them have tried smoking in their early teens. But neither of them became addicted znd they don't smoke. In contrast I have friends who have never smoked and their offspring do. There really is no easy logic to it.

    I did say if I was wrong tell me to shut up. That's what you should have said

    "Jack shut up":D

    Plus it was a question of ponder not a statement. My ex wife smoked when she was pregnant and both my sons from my first marriage smoked in their teens. But that proves nothing because my wife now Donna did not smoke and never has but my son did smoke in his teens. Fortunately he has now stopped and so has the others.

    I personally have no objection to a woman smoking while pregnant, what about a man smoking while they are trying to get pregnant.

    Sorry I'm waffleing I think it's lack of sm..........sleep.

    Jack

  • Hi all what can you say to that LOL

    Must admit its not easy to give up but I had 5 Beautiful sons and refrained from smoking with them but continued after they were born so maybe thats the way to play it, say you will give up while you are pregnant for the baby and smoke after or not depending how you feel when you have had the baby, maybe that way you will feel less under pressure to quit.

    Whichever way you will have the backing of all of us on the forum and whatever happens there will be a post on here that you can relate to day or night and some one to chat to. Congrats on the baby and no matter what we say on here you will do what you feel is best for you and what you feel comfortable with but best wishes which ever you choose.

    This makes great sense, it's a pity I don't.:eek:

    Jack

  • Hi Desperate:)....there is a plethora of information on here in peoples signatures about the harmful effects of smoking.....try reading some of them....its enough to make you never want to smoke again:eek:

    I havn't smoked for 6+months and I cant remember the last time I had a crave;)....The very best of luck to you whichever way you choose:D

  • thanks for all replies

    Well i'm planning for tomorrow to be quit day! We have lots of things planned for tomorrow and at a christening on sunday to keep my mind occupied. As I only ever smoke at home, its my release, go outside and have 5 mins peace, but being out the house hopefully will help. I am scared about stopping, only on how I'll i will cope. Im dreading being ratty and short tempered, and hope that i dont take it out on the children (half term next week Arghh!!). I'll be on tomorrow to tell you how Im coping (or not).

  • Good luck and don't worry, quitting is not scary at all, it's just thinking about it that's scary. Keep posting.

  • I personally have no objection to a woman smoking while pregnant, what about a man smoking while they are trying to get pregnant.

    Sorry I'm waffleing I think it's lack of sm..........sleep.

    Jack

    Jack you must be tired .......Men dont get pregnant

    LOL

  • Had my last one

    Just had my last one, lighter in bin and non in the house. Patch at the ready for the morning. Here is to a long road ahead.:rolleyes:

  • Hi, good luck for tomorrow. I just wanted to say, I think I've been less ratty with my kids since I stopped- so pre-occupied with not wanting to take it out on them that I've shouted less, if that makes sense. Also when they really wind me up- which is a lot as they're naughty and I've no patience, I still go outside for 5 mins to calm down- deep breaths, glass of water, I just omit the ciggy. It works, although I can't imagine what the neighbours think...Loads of luck to you Pol xxx

  • Hi Desperate,

    And huge congratulations on your pregnancy and also your desire to quit!

    You are dealing with a huge amount at the moment, and as others have already said, an hour at a time if need be. Above all, do what's right for your blood pressure, as you know that's really important just now. Come on here, post as much as you can and try to keep positive thoughts:)

    I also just wanted to leap to Jack's defence (not that he needs it), but he is currently going through a really hard time personally and still he comes on here trying to help others in their quit. He goes above and beyond the call of duty and is a true inspiration to most of us. I know what was said could have been misconstrued but I know for a fact it was not intended that way. You will find him to be one of your biggest supporters without a doubt.

    I wish you all the very best with your quit and the new baby:D

    Jenni x

  • Jenni Thanks for that I'll send you the money later:D

    Hello Desperate, yep there is always some sanity in what I say and nothing is meant to hurt or criticise in any way. I really hope you have managed to get started today and long may you continue to quit.

    Jack xx

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