hi i am joanne, I am 36 and I have been smoking scince i was 15 , 20 plus a day, i gave up 2 years ago for 9 moinths and found it ok...I read allen carrs book and the next morning that was that, for 9 months....until I started smoking again i got diagnosed with an overactive thyroid but before i was diagnosed I thought i was going a bit mad...so the cigs came to the rescue, i could kick myslef for smoking again i really could.
this time round it scares me , i dont know why...but I have to do it now I feel like crap and I know its down to smoking and my skin is really showing the signs as is my health, and my kids I have 3 boys who hate it....I initially thought i would wake up and think one day I have had enough and just stop like i did last time, but I havent ,so I have had tomorrow planned for a while, but as it looms I have that empty feeling.
I dont know why i am so scared this time and why i am finding the thought of it so petrifiying yet last time it was ok.
my husband is off for a week which will help me, patches are bought and support is there he has never smoked but has never put pressure on me to give up, but he has said that he is concerned about my health......and i hate smoking now.....but again I know its gonna be so hard this time.......smoking has been the longest relationship i have had....my support, my crutch my mate.
now i have found this site, I am hoping that with the day 1,2 etc I can vent and know others will know how I am feeling......
thanks for listening/reading