Please help!!!!!!! :(


You guys know me and i'm starting to get to know you all and i think your just super!!

You have all helped me and supported me during my quit (albeit 48h!) also at the begining when i needed to find the right reasons and motivation to start my quit and now........ i just cant get it done!. I'm still smoking and can't get my ass in gear to stop again.

So, any tips, more tips and ANYTHING to help me get back on track again would be welcome!

Thanks to all and i hope you all well. Time for me to get reading!

mimi x

14 Replies

  • Mimi,

    You can gather from reading my signature, that i'm using patches to quit. There are folk out there who frown on using NRT to quit and those like myself who would recommend them. My experience of these patches has been a very positive one, but there is one overriding aspect of quitting smoking that absolutely must come from within yourself:

    1. You must want to stop smoking.

    2. You must not see it as giving something up, as this only creates a feeling of loss later.

    3. You must remain ever determined to your cause once you quit smoking that you will never take another puff from a cigarette even if that is offered to you by a smoker.

    I read up after I quit smoking itself, both links on folks signatures on these very forums, and also twice reading the 'Allen Carr Easyway to stop smoking' book which i feel helped me isolate and dissolve the brainwashing that nicotine addiction had created over the years i'd smoked. I found that not everything i read i could relate to, but i absolutely found that a great deal of what i read made sense.

    I stopped thinking of smoking as a habit before i'd quit though and saw it as an addiction, pure and simply 'an addiction'.

    Its all about choice every single hour and day when your quitting.. the road to success takes commitment, strength and the ability to say no to the false desires that the addiction sets up as tests for you. The other road you know too well at the moment, and the problem you've thusfar faced has been at one of the many junctions where you've been tempted to smoke, and not put up the barriers to say no to it.

    This CAN change, you CAN change, and you CAN quit smoking. Once you break through these initial days and weeks the grass truly is greener, the air so much fresher, and your mind? the one with which you are in constant battles with over the stopping smoking.. that becomes clearer too.

    I cannot possibly describe just how much of a difference in my life its made without going all 'whoop whoop!' about it.. but its enough to tell you that its ALL worth every bit those horrible knotted stomach moments, the turmoil of thoughts that you feel in the beginning, and the emptiness you do feel sometimes. The states of confusion are far less even now for me, and you know what? I read posts on these very forums from folk who've announced their 4, 6, 8 and even 12 month milestones in their quit, and i can't help but think...'I WANT THAT!'.

    Chrissies signature contains this lovely link which is so apt:

    Basically Mimi, i would love for you to do this, you really would too, and you will, but i've found from reading just a little bit each day from the many lovely 'experience blogs' of folk who've quit that this thing is doable, and the rewards very much will always outweigh any feelings you get in the early days/weeks.

    I also find this post really good advice if you are smoking at the moment, because to truly understand why you smoke, it helps to note down what prompted one at different times of the day:

    You probably also read folk referring to their addiction as being a monster, or a demon.. and you know? although that demon is actually just YOU.. your mind in particular, the only real battle here is with yourself, but I went browsing those stories in chrissies signature, and read more some weeks back now and i remembered one about a guy describing his demon, and so i went and found it again for you to read.. i found it worthwhile...

    Anyway mimi, i hope.. and truly want you to quit smoking.. i think you do too, but nothing will help you more than a strong minded defense and whichever 'method' you finally choose to quit, be it cold turkey, champix, patches, inhaler or otherwise.

    Come back ready and know that its the best thing you can possibly do.


  • What a great thread


    Hi Mimi...Jase...Chrissie,

    I just wanted to thank you for all this. There is something wonderful about being in the same boat as so many other ordinary - extraordinary - people.

    All the best to you and Mimi...Go for it!


  • Mimi, (sorry, i seem to have time on my hands today, apologies for long post number 2 :) )

    The night before i quit, i just didn't bother going to a shop, i had 4 or 6 cigs left (can't remember exactly) in my packet, and i'd already bought in patches (my chosen method), ready for a day when i would just literally decide.. enough is enough.

    Well enough was enough that night, i had a bottle of wine and a dvd and my 4 or 6 smokes left.. it was enough to see me to the end of the night and in the morning i would wake up with the one difference, i would not smoke, and in my case.. on went a patch and i just got on with my day.. that day was a sunday.

    10pm on the saturday night, i paused the film, grabbed my last cig and went out the back and smoked 2/3rd's of it, and stubbed the last 3rd in defiance that i was not going to savour the last one.. i had already told myself i wasn't enjoying them many times before anyway.

    I have honestly never looked back longingly since. Instead, i've dealt with the symptoms of withdrawal which i knew i was not unique in feeling, this was what i had to go through if i was to come out the other side a non-smoker. I will not tell ye a single lie in anything i type, this comes from me.. i am just a computer engineer, a normal joe.. no different to anyone else.. i guarantee i will get the same craving as the next person also trying to quit, but i have made sure that my mind is made up that i want to be quit.. i am certain that i am fed up of smoking, and yes i am still disappointed that i failed 3 times prior to this quit to succeed in staying off them.

    What is different this time?

    I learned what went wrong last time.. i now know there is no bad time in which to quit, we will always have some stress in our lives, there is alwas something happening which made us reach to our little comforts to get through those times.. and i realised all too quickly that whether i was a smoker or non-smoker i would still feel those feelings.. but for some reason i felt that smoking was making things worse, while making things only seem like they were better. (illusion)

    My mind was made up.. i'd quit. I didn't plan it for a certain date, i just bought in the tools for the job early with no clear plan in mind at first.. the time for me was purely at random, and i do remember saying to my fiancé when i was poised to buy or not to buy more cigs..'no, i have to break this cycle now, it stops here'.

    Since, its been all about soldiering on through, many good days, some bad.. being prepared for some dodgy days before they happened, and remind the folk around me that i cared enough to quit..and apologised in advance if i was at all snappy too. (that worked wonders!)

    I did get snappy, i did feel a bit 'alone' at first, but the encouragement and seeing others succeeding spurred me on.. it can for anyone. (These forums are perfect to help with the 'alone' feeling)

    The thing is though? as the days/weeks went on, it did get easier.. its much much easier now than it was in the first week and the 3rd week.. if i could only give you a quick glimpse and to be able to feel the difference just for 5 minutes in comparison you would see.

    Just know your strong enough, and you are going to do this. You already have the strength, you just need to make the decision as to when.

    Good luck to you, please let us know when that day becomes 'now'


  • Jase..... excellent post!

    Hi Mimi,

    not much to add really, Jase covered a lot! One thing though...... he mentions you have to want to quit..... that one was tough for me for years..... I wanted to quit but I also wanted to smoke.... I waited for that special day I wanted to quit.... it NEVER came..... I did however decide yes, I still want to smoke but I can't have it controlling my life... so I planned for a quit, quit, immersed myself fully in the quit (ie hanging out here a bunch :))..... it happened for me over time..... the 'want to quit' came after learning about this addiction....... truly, who the heck would want to be slave, right?!! It's this mental switch, a different way of thinking that makes quitting or even just attempting to quit possible..... and even easy!

    It's fear that keeps you smoking (well and the addiction part of course)..... equip yourself with knowledge and it will get you going!

  • Hi, Mimi. I really don't have much to add. Jase and Belle have pretty much covered it all. Mind set is the key and reading about nicotine addiction is so important. Try making a list of the reasons you want and need to quit smoking and also make a list of the reasons why you think you stay smoking. I did the list and put it on my freezer and read it over and over again. The reasons to stay smoking were all fears, so I just thought about them and came up with answers so the fears went away. Example: Fear of failure. My husband quit smoking 36 years ago and I could just hear him saying "I'm so disappointed in you! I don't know why you are so weak that you can't quit smoking!" Guess what, when I told him about my feelings, he was and still is my best supporter! End of that fear! I had about 3 big ones and when I really sat down and thought it through, they all were managable! Freedom is just around the corner, all you have to do is chose not to smoke!

  • Hi Mimi :)

    I really can't add anything to what Jase has already said so i'll just say this

    When you're ready we'll all be here for you to help or support you



  • Time for me to get reading! mimi x

    Hi Mimi....thats what you need to do....I think I read this site inside out and read every link I could find.....and then I would go and read again!! All of my inspiration came from this forum and the links I found here.......I am only in the early days of my quit...but I am very positive and don't ever want to have another ciggie:eek:

    The very best of luck to you will get lots of support here....Cheers Kez:D

  • As you are back on this forum now mimi, i'll bump this thread for you as it dropped way down the list.

  • Hello to all my new and loveing non -smoking family!. (new as is in my new family that takes care of me and supports me like a good mother)

    I have to say that i was so VERY touched by your words of help and advice and your time taken for me. Really, thank you all very much.

    As we all know, giving up this terrible habit is no child's game, we do it... cock it up and start all over again and every time we re quit, it gets that wee bit harder.

    A long process but made easier thanks you all and i hope that one day i will be one of the oldie's and give wise advice to the newbie's.

    I have also joined another site to get extra help and also cos i'm greedy hehehe! and for the moment, i'm doing ok with almost a month of freedom.

    I hope your all well and i will be in touch with news and to catch up.

    Many thanks again and keep up the good work:D

    Mimi x

  • Thank you!!! ;) !!!


  • Snif snif!!,

    Once agian not good!. fallen off the wagon like a bag of bricks!!!

    I am over angry, disappointed and i just don't understand myself.

    I don't want to keep bothering you with all my relapses so i will buzz you all when i have made it 6 months smoke free!! lol...

    I don't meaen that at all ;). I'll be intouch and many thanks to you all.

    Take care x

  • Hi Mimi :)

    I'm so sad to read this but it does happen unfortunately I lost count of the number of times I tried over the years

    Take a break and come back when you're ready to try again and we'll all be here for you Promise


    marg xxxxxxxx

  • Hi Mimi

    Read the book in my sig while youre getting ready to start again :)

    All the best

  • Hi Mimi

    Read the book in my sig while youre getting ready to start again :)

    All the best

    I totally second that!!!

    Oh and many happy returns to your very good friend mr pots!!! :D

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