Please help !!! :(

ok long story short, today my husband has told me he wants a divorce. We have been separated for 5 months already but there was always the hope we would sort things.

Today it would appear all hope is gone as he firmly tells me he wants a divorce... Im sure you all know where this is leading.

I have not had barely a craving for months and months and now BANG - i cannot stop thinking about walking to the shops and buying a packet and smoking the lot. I cant shake the feeling that it would make me feel better even though deep down i KNOW it wont and i KNOW i will just hate myself for it. I dont know what i want you to say to me really but I knew you guys would be the only ones that might understand why I am having these thoughts even though i know where it leads...........

To make things worse Im going out tonight so its gonna be even worse when Im drunk. And I know I shouldnt go but im so f*cking miserable and I cant sit in on my own......

Help! :(

11 Replies

  • You said it all. The smoking won't help your situation. Posting that the smoking won't help your situation will help you deal with the craving though. I can't imagine what you are going through emotionally, only that it must be a horrible place to be and I feel dreadful for you. Smoking won't make it go away though. It will only make you feel even worse, and you'll wake up tomorrow with that familiar furry taste in your mouth and that horrible post smoking throat that tastes so minging. Keep strong, I am so sorry xxxxx

  • Hi Laura

    Soooooooooooo very sorry to hear your sad news but if you have been apart for a few month i expect it was not a supprize Still not nice I know Ive been there many moons ago now. You are wanting to smoke because when you where a smoker this is the time you would chain smoke. You will feel different in a day or so just keep strong you have done so well hun and have been very strong you show him hes not going to make you lose control over the one thing YOU can control. xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Laura

    I'm so sorry to hear this sad news

    I really do feel for you having gone through the same thing myself many years ago

    I was a smoker then and can assure that even as a smoker it didn't help in this situation one little bit

    Just as you know it won't help you now in any way, all it will do is make you even more unhappy than you already are and yes I fully understand why you're having these thoughts just now

    Like all of us before you quit you'd have reached for those fags,our so called cure all only they didn't and they won't cure anything in fact they'll just make it worse for you

    Go out with your friends tonight, but if I were you I would tell them that if you ask for fags to please not in any circumstances to give you any

    At least going out as you'd planned may take your mind off it for a little while just to get you through tonight and give the shock time to wear off just a little bit and at least you won't be alone this evening

    Tomorrow you will feell differently about the smoking and at least that way you won't be adding another regret for yourself to cope with


    Marg xxxxxxxxxxx

  • I don't honestly know what to say except to confirm what you already know - that your old crutch can't help you.

    You have been clean for so long that the first one would make you feel awful, both physically and mentally.... you already know where the road leads after that.

    The almost inevitable quick spiral back to where you were when you decided enough was enough. ALong with the cost, sickness, the feeling of guilt everytime you light up around non smokers, the almost instant change for the worse of your appearance.... (this could be a long list, so I'll stop now :D )

    You will be faced with a simple choice...

    1) Smoke until it kills you, cos it probably will and we have to assume it will.

    2) Go through the first painful part of quitting again.

    Neither of those sound particularly attractive do they?

    I know that you're going through a really rough time, and I wish you all the very best.... but don't smoke, you really will regret it.

    All the best.

  • Hello ld13

    Sorry to hear your bad news.

    Easy to say now, but its probably for the best in the long run,

    Click here to read a post that may be of some help.

    All the best :)

  • Laura,

    I'm so sorry to hear that. You have been dropped into an emotional "pit" and things seem really horrid at the moment but will they will get better. Smoking would only make you feel worse and you are only a week away from your 200 days quit (that is a tremendous milestone)!!

    On a personal note you DESERVE to be within a mutually loving relationship with both persons wanting to be there, if your husband does not feel that way then it will only make things sour, draw a line under this part of your life now don't waste your life trying to rekindle what he obviously feels is lost. You can and will get through these low feelings, come out the other side, I promise.

    In the long run you will be able to build a better more satisfying life for yourself, and I'm sure that you will want the new future to be a non smoking one so don't disappoint yourself.

    Best wishes,


  • morning,

    thank you for all your nice messages. cos im a bit of an emotional retard at the moment some of them even made me get a lump in my throat lol :)

    i am pleased to tell you, esp after all your replies, that last night i did NOT smoke !! admittedly the thought crossed my mind more then it should have done but i took my pack of polos with me (see previous posts for explanation of mint obsession! :D) and danced the night away to spice girls and ended up having quite a funny night instead of crying into my wine glass :o

    i feel great for not smoking and i know its just another quitting hurdle im over now. i guess this taught me i should never be off guard as i didnt expect the feelings of wanting it so much to ever return like that


  • Hurray! I do not know you as I am a Feb quitter but I have been worrying and hovering over the 6 month thread since you posted yesterday. Am most proud you did it, and went out and had a good time to boot. Good for you! xxxx

  • Hi Laura :D

    I am so relieved to hear that you didn't smoke last night and evem managed to enjoy yourself Well done you

    You must feel very pleased with yourself today and so you should


    Marg xxxxxxx

  • Babes Im soooooooooooo pleased you stayed smoke free hunnie. You know we are here for you. Laura hunnie its his loss your a very lovely looking young lady with your whole life ahead of you. Love Linda xxxxxxxxxxx

  • Babes Im soooooooooooo pleased you stayed smoke free hunnie. You know we are here for you. Laura hunnie its his loss your a very lovely looking young lady with your whole life ahead of you. Love Linda xxxxxxxxxxx

    I agree.......................

    Laura.. I dont know you at all but your ex is obviously an asshat. :)

    Well done to you . Things can only get better.

    All the best


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