Need Some Help Here Please

I am new here but have given up smoking completely since the New Year.

I have questions. I am struggling with a feeling i am depriving myself of something which is making me truly unhappy.

I am also taking out my pissed off feelings on my wife (verbally) which seems harsh in my better moments but completely justified in the darker ones.

I have no intention of smoking again but would like to know is this normal?

Does it get better?

33 Replies

oldestnewest
  • I am new here but have given up smoking completely since the New Year.

    I have questions. I am struggling with a feeling i am depriving myself of something which is making me truly unhappy.

    I am also taking out my pissed off feelings on my wife (verbally) which seems harsh in my better moments but completely justified in the darker ones.

    I have no intention of smoking again but would like to know is this normal?

    Does it get better?

    I'm not sure the word "normal" is quite right - but it's certainly common. You are missing the fags. The time you spent with them, the enjoyment you took from them and now you're grieving that loss.

    It will pass I'm sure but as for when - I'm sorry I don't know.

    Keep strong

    xx

  • It is normal, not nice but normal!!

    We have all been moaning around here the last week or so :o

    It will past, others will tell you and I have in quits before gone through it.

    The corner is close by and you will turn it soon, last time, just as i could not bare it any longer, the sun came out and the birds sung :D I suddenly felt better than in years and getting stressed was much harder than when I smoked!! a new calm if you like.

    Stick with us and vent/rant all you like, it will help and take the pressure of those you love a bit ;)

    Welcome on board MrBucks :D and congratulations x x

    ~Buffy x x

  • Course it is !

    Fella, of course it's normal. Your body is mighty annoyed at you for depriving it of cigs - and so it makes you act like a rod and take it out on everybody.

    How soon this will pass really does depend on you. What you can do is find a way to take the feeling out on something else. Get a squeezy toy - or buy a cheap dog to kick (only kidding !!!!! I'm a big member of the RAC so don't think that I really mean it's ok to hurt ANY aminals). Find someone you don't like and hang about with them for a bit. Take it out on them.

    What I'm saying is that you are definately going to feel like this until you get your head around the fact that your bod is craving cigs. Once you've managed to do that, you can control it. Once you can control it, you can stop it.

    The Shark used to shout at me all the time when she first stopped. It didn't matter -because I ignored her most of the time anyway so it didn't have much impact - but it does take some getting used to.

    Whatever happens, reassure your wife all of the time - and remind her how much she will love you more once you've stopped. You'll feel better physically, you'll look younger, (you will be "bigger" !;)) and you'll be better off financially. It's gotta be worth the effort.

    Identify ways to work together to get you through the tough times and celebrate your minor successess together. It really will work out if you both invest the time in it !!

    And of course, the rest of the time - get yourself on here and have a good moan !! It's what the rest of us do !!

    Good luck fella !! Stick with it !!

    :D

  • Im sorry but ive got to ask :o

    Does quitting make men bigger? PMSL :D:eek:

  • Just to agree with everyone else - it is normal, and it will pass.

    One of the most important things you can do is change your mindset away from thinking you're being deprived. Once you get past that and see things clearly it's so much easier. You'll feel more positive, happier and really start to appreciate all the benefits of stopping.

    You're not missing out on anything - far from it.

  • It's very normal ! You could......hang a cushion from the roof in the garage and punch it :D; do some serious workouts (exercise):confused:; dig up the garden!

    Finding something to take your temper out on may relieve it.

    Good luck

  • Yeah

    Sara, I gotta be honest (me n the Shark had to discuss whether we'd share this or not cos it's one of them things) but "yeah".

    To be honest, I was nicely placed in the "queue" and not too far from the front of the queue to begin with. Quitting has seen me move up a good few places ;) (like an inch each way !!)

    It doesn't get talked about much - and I'm cringing while I type it - but it is the truth and I reckon far more men would quit if they knew !! And far more women would nag their men if they knew !!

    :D

  • Im sorry but ive got to ask :o

    Does quitting make men bigger? PMSL :D:eek:

    Sara,

    my bf's never smoked so I don't know about it from that side but all that extra oxygen in your blood has got to help. Certainly from the female side it works wonders ;)more energy and more oxygen all lead to more O!

  • I am absolutely creasing up with laughter here what are you lot like :D

  • I am absolutely creasing up with laughter here what are you lot like :D

    I really don't know why the NHS don't make more of these benefits of stopping. I bet pretty much every ex-smoker now has a much better sex life :D You have more energy, more confidence, you know you smell and taste better - it's like being a teenager again!

  • No one mentions it !

    Well it's one of those things that no-one really mentions - but it would have been a big differentiator for me it I'd known before !! Once I'd started to see the "improvements" I actually used to walk around with a card that said "CIG" on one side, and "C*CK" on the other. Whenever I was craving, I'd have a look at the card. There's no choice to make !!

    And we both noticed that the Shark was definately, hmmm, not sure how to put this..........much happier as well. In a more ready to play kinda way ;)

    Anyway, I gotta take the Shark out now (finally) so we'll probably fight over getting on the PC later............

    Have a great day everyone - and well done for another day of not smoking !!

    :D

  • Im sorry but ive got to ask :o

    Does quitting make men bigger? PMSL :D:eek:

    Can verify its true. Should be advertised by nhs. Hubby and myself quit days apart. after we survived the anger and fits of frustration early on in the quit. When things started to settle. The bedroom dept took off big time. where once we considerd viagra, The extra oxygen has made us like newly weds ha ! We may be a bit bigger everywhere else though too, he he ! ;)

  • So to summarise then blokefrombucks - our advice would be:

    instead of feeling angry and taking that out on your wife, enjoy the benefits of the extra energy and work up some dopamine with her :)

  • Poor MrBucks!! do you guys show no mercy!!? :D

  • Poor MrBucks!! do you guys show no mercy!!? :D

    But it's true! And what better way of getting rid of stress and anger than a good ;):D

  • now that really is lowering the tone young lady

    oh you mean smell in general :confused: :rolleyes: :D

    Boudee!!!!!! :eek:I meant that in a perfectly innocent way!

    Honestly, can't take you anywhere!

  • I think i've got the bigger thing which is fine if you actually like or want to shag the other person!

    Brings me back to original question!!

  • Are you saying you don't like your wife or she doesn't like you? :confused:

  • look it is very normal to hate your partner, it is isn't it? :confused: :rolleyes:

    Totally! Or maybe I'm not the person to ask! :D:rolleyes:

  • I am new here but have given up smoking completely since the New Year.

    I have questions. I am struggling with a feeling i am depriving myself of something which is making me truly unhappy.

    I am also taking out my pissed off feelings on my wife (verbally) which seems harsh in my better moments but completely justified in the darker ones.

    I have no intention of smoking again but would like to know is this normal?

    Does it get better?

    Original question is..........why am i taking out my pissedofffness on her? Is it a normal reaction?

  • well there you are then, if you hate them why lay with them?? :o

    Because a good argument gets you all heated up and then in the middle of shouting you realise that actually you just want to rip their clothes off.

    Or is that just me?!

    Have I said too much?!?

    **hangs head in shame and slopes off for lunch**

  • yeah but what's the point of arguing if you miss out on the making up part? :p

  • Because a good argument gets you all heated up and then in the middle of shouting you realise that actually you just want to rip their clothes off.

    Or is that just me?!

    Have I said too much?!?

    **hangs head in shame and slopes off for lunch**

    Oh nothing like a big big bust up then a very very passionate.............:o.....you know what what what !!!! ;)

  • the point of arguing is to find a compromise not an orgasm :rolleyes:

    Don't underestimate the power of the O ;)

    You get compromise when you've calmed down from the argument and are both prepared to talk about things rationally. What better way to get from argument to calm than via passion?! :)

  • oh dear not you as well :o

    AH i think spring is around the corner awwww! or is it dossys crazy hormones on a trip again ha! the hot flashes have vanished! well for now anyway LOL :D

  • the point of arguing is to find a compromise not an orgasm :rolleyes:

    I'm off to buy an organ then!

    :D

  • Don't underestimate the power of the O ;)

    I never do sister!

    images.salon.com/mwt/featur...

    ;):p

  • You just can't fault a game of "Shine the Rocket"

    You just can't fault a game of shine the rocket to get the blood flowing.

    In answer to your original question "is it normal?".......of course it's normal to shout at the person you share the house with. There's no-one else there to shout at (is there?). We always hurt the ones we love.

    Then we take them upstairs and play shine the rocket to make things all better.

    Well, we do.

    And of course, with "new" and "improved" sausage, we get extra "Good bloke" points.

    Beautiful.

    :D

  • And of course, with "new" and "improved" sausage, we get extra "Good bloke" points.

    All this talk of sausages is making me hungry......

    i100.photobucket.com/albums...

  • Sshsshsshsssshausages

    I just can't do it.

    I just can't let those posts go past without offering you some sausage.

    I tried and I tried but I just couldn't do it.

    Sausage. It's an onomatopoeia (I don't know how to spell it !! - but it means one of them words that sounds like what it is. Like "Moist".:D

  • I got a sausage maker for christmas

    I can make you special herbal sausages that you eat - and then they in turn make you very hungry (for munchy food). It's like you go full circle.

    Course, I'd need to get meat n that - but I got the herb.

    The Shark can vouch for my sausage.

    She's eaten it plenty.:D

  • So what's going on here then ...

    Are we really to believe such a thing as a quit smoking sausage expansion theory I don't think so. Perhaps more testing is required.

    Now my sausage don't appear too different to when I was smoking but what I have noticed, with all the extra eating I've been doing I do appear to have an extra 20lb or so to ram it home ;)

  • I am new here but have given up smoking completely since the New Year.

    I have questions. I am struggling with a feeling i am depriving myself of something which is making me truly unhappy.

    I am also taking out my pissed off feelings on my wife (verbally) which seems harsh in my better moments but completely justified in the darker ones.

    I have no intention of smoking again but would like to know is this normal?

    Does it get better?

    i have felt all that and my family said i was awful ( i thought i was ok) you need something, a goal, mine is to be able to dance without wheezing at the end of it for 10 mins, you and your wife could learn, i absolutely love it, and WILL NOT smoke again..... take a look this isour teachers

You may also like...