Day 23. Haven't posted for a few days, pre-occupied with the snow etc. Had a few odd moments, all those associations with occassions and situations, although, after 20 years of smoking you can almost associate breathing with smoking!
This has been the big realisation for me, you sit there day by day waiting for the magic wand to wave and suddenly there will be no urges to smoke. NOT GOING TO HAPPEN. I've spent 7,300 days smoking, and it had almost become a way of life, much like breathing, eating, drinking etc. I foolishly expected it to take a couple of weeks perhaps to stop associating smoking with different situations, but how can I possibly cover 20 years of events/situations in a few weeks. I can't can I, which has been a great realisation for me (should have been more obvious I know, feel a little foolish).
Now, whenever I get that slight awkward feeling, you know the one i'm talking about, I think of it as just that, a feeling. It doesn't hurt and sometimes it can last ages, specially if i'm a bit tense, but it is just a feeling. A few deep breaths stops it from getting out of hand.
All in all I am a much better, relaxed, happier person. I laugh more, I certainly smell better, and I have discovered much more about myself because I think I like myself that little bit more.
Isn't if FAB
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I don't actually remember thinking about having a cigarette, I smell them, see people having them, but having one doesn't come to mind, so I don't get the thoughts/cravings where my mind is telling me "I really want a cigarette" or "wish I could have one".
What I do have though, and sometimes for most of the day, is a slight tight feeling in my chest, the sort of feeling that makes you take a deep breath. There's no pain, and my pulse is as cool and calm as anything, so my body isn't physically experiencing stress. But I just have this feeling. Odd really, anyone else felt this, or something like it?
A lady, sourlink you are a gentleman. Well what is that feeling? If there's no racing heart or irritability, can't be stress can it? I'm generally quite a chilled and calm person, so experience is limited. Got a therapist friend, she's bound to have a theory on it, they do on most things.
Lozza, I know exactly what you are feeling, I've had it for the last 2 weeks, slight tightness in chest, slight lump in my throat as well. It's like a slight nervousness similar to what I would get if going to a promotion interview or the likes but nowhere near as intense.
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