Day 23 - Please help

[IBB1990]

Hello,

This is my first ever post - eek.

I am 23 days in and can honestly say this is my worst day so far. I gave up CT and have been lurking on this forum tracking each day and reading through other people's quits day by day. Today is the first day I've created an account and am posting. Up until now I've felt strong and despite it being hard, I've felt in control.

I don't feel like that today.

I'm 25 and have been smoking since I was 15. My fiancee doesn't smoke and has been encouraging me through every step of the way - by using Lush bathbombs (! Every week I get a new one to mark the occasion ha).

I've been relying on chocolate mainly to curb cravings and up until now it's worked. I'd noticed the weight was just piling on. I'm usually very athletic and run most days but have found the majority of my quit to be exhausting - does anyone else feel this way? I am so tired, I either don't sleep for days or can't keep my eyes open and each comes in waves and it's just unbearable now.

The weight has been creeping up and I made the decision to cut down on the snacks and the treats between meals - I'm on day 2 of this effort and I'm not sure if I just wasn't ready to remove my 'non smoking crutch' as it were. I feel awful - exhausted, lots of tears, a feeling of emptiness and bereavement and I don't know what to do. I'm torn between feeling miserable at piling on a few pounds and wanting to feel slimmer. Today is the first day I've seriously thought about smoking again. I won't - of course not but I feel utterly horrific.

Does anyone else feel this way? I'd love to know how to deal with this, I'm at a total loss of what to do.

Thank you XX

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Welcome IBB and well done on reaching Day 23, that is great! You have now started the mental battle of your quit so will have bad days and your mind will play tricks on you for that one smoke. Keep your guard up at all times. Your frame of mind appears to be focused and determined and it is vital that you keep this and remain strong and positive, read up as much as possible on what is happening at this stage of your quit.

I am 5 months smoke free tomorrow doing it cold turkey too and it has been a roller coaster of ride and still fighting the battle with bad days, tiredness, moody, anxious etc... but this is much less frequent from my 1 month milestone.

With regards gaining weight, I try to get some form of exercise for 15 minutes every day and from the new year I bought the following water juicer bottle (can get in any supermarket) and started drinking water with half a lemon, 4 leaves of mint and 2 slices of cucumber - hooked on it now and tastes really refreshing and a good way to drink water as you can top up with water throughout the day at work (ice cold water is my preference) and really helps with stopping snacking.

Wishing you success and look forward to reading your progress!

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[Nozmo Valued Contributor]

Hi IBB, in my experience you will get days like this - everything's ticking along nicely and then, for no apparent reason you feel miserable, angry...stressed...the lot. My kids and wife can testify to this as they've endured me flitting from high to low, to everything in between throughout January.

It comes and goes so I'm pretty sure you will be back to normal soon.

Don't worry about putting on weight. You run, and the light nights are on their way, so you can lose it again when you're more comfortable in your quit. I've put on half a stone in a month! I hate putting on weight but know I can lose it again.

Keep your chin up and keep posting!

[IBB1990]

Hello Rowens & Nozmo.

Thank you so much for your replies, they really helped yesterday and I'm pleased to say I'm now day 24 - hoorah.

Congratulations on 5 months free today Rowens, you must be thrilled. Do you often still think about smoking? Each task I complete still seems overshadowed with the reminder that I don't follow it with smoking - dinner for example. Thank you for the water bottle idea, I'll pick one up when I'm next out shopping. Hopefully it will help with the snacking too!

That's exactly how I feel Nozmo, I've been looking for excuses to not blame it on the cigarettes too so I am relieved it's not just me who feels this way. I'm exactly the same with the weight gain, half a stone but I'm just not ready to cut out snacks yet. I feel like my bond with chocolate treats is the only thing keeping me going!

Hope you're both having a great morning with no Nico-bastard on your shoulder!

[Nozmo Valued Contributor in reply to IBB1990]

No problem IBB, glad it helped

Remember - it plays funny tricks and it's not just you. Lots of us here have experienced this so you're not alone.

Have a good day and enjoy your chocolate (I've had a Mars Bar AND a Double Decker already today but I have a cold so I need to cheer myself up

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Your welcome IBB, and good for you on reaching Day 24 and that you are in better form today.

Thinking about smoking becomes less and less as each day passes and the only time I tend to think about smoking is if I am bored, seeing people smoking on TV or surrounded by people smoking (like I was last weekend for a family birthday which was very tough but got through it, though it was a battle with the nicodemon to have that one smoke!), but each trigger we overcome becomes easier the next time....

[Hercu Valued Contributor]

Hi IBB ... welcome to the forum and therefore you have joined a wonderful group of friends...Yes it is awful and terrifying ...the emotions and lost feeling...The total Zombification...There is cravings but nothing you could not handle and yes chocolates carried me through as well....Luckily with my active career and lifestyle I gained a few kilos but could afford it...It is mostly the tiredness and sick feeling that is wearing us out but you can really think to supplement with extra vitamins...over the counter stuff works and get rid of that total "BLAH" feeling.. Stay strong it also go's away !!

[Trem 2 Years Smoke Free]

I read somewhere that the paper that smokes are wrapped in are dipped in sugar. Se we are craving for a sugar fix too.

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free in reply to Trem]

Trem  

Hey Jenny, paper probably does have sugar in it along with the 4,000 other chemicals in one cigarette, no wonder they are the hardest drug to give up!   Isn't great we are not putting them in our body any longer

[Trem 2 Years Smoke Free]

That's for sure RoisinO1  

[vicky_7843 3 Years Smoke Free]

YES it is very much like same in 3rd to 4th week of quitting smoking. just think that u have done a great job 23 days without smoke but still you are on half of the mark. stay calm and find other ways than the chocolate. watch any tv program u like or visit any place u like with your fiancee. it just a matter of few more weeks and u will be get totally rid off this EVIL forever. believe in urself