Sorry...: ... I will likely be the first one... - No Smoking Day

No Smoking Day

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Sorry...

nsd_user663_3828 profile image
21 Replies

... I will likely be the first one to fall out of the group and out of the forum. It has nothing to do with wanting/needing to smoke... I just realized that in order to stay quit one has to want to live and I guess I don't really want to live that much... Quite frankly once my Mum is gone (she has Alzheimer's and is 80 years old so it won't take all that long)... I have no other family/relatives anywhere, am not married, don't have kids and not all that many friends (such as they are), so once she is gone... who cares... Just wanted to say thanks to one and all.... ... Not sure if this is just a bad day... (I don't want to actually smoke, but am feeling really messed up) or a permanant thing....

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nsd_user663_3828
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21 Replies
nsd_user663_3687 profile image
nsd_user663_3687

steve,

smoking aside, writing things that like indicates to me you feeling more than unhappy with life at the moment. have you been to see a doctor about how your feeling??

I do hope you wont start smoking again because i can assure you it wont make the situation any better but whether you do or not, please get some help xx

nsd_user663_3810 profile image
nsd_user663_3810

I read your thread-and first thought-oh too heavy dont know how to respond, and nearly closed without adding a response, however i couldnt let a fellow forum member or a fellow human being opening admit these feelings and myself say nothing so here goes:

First of all im not particularly good at dishing out advice, but you come across as a really sad and lonely, disconnected person, you are obviously depressed and feel at a loss with your mum so ill, i would be if i was in your shoes. So the first thing is to say and feel as if you WANT to live! no matter how hard life is, and believe me it can be, you only have one go at this so you need to grab life by the balls and live!

Go to the docs steve, you may feel alone, but people do care, get the right medication and councilling, it will be a long journey but it will be worth it.

Although i dont know you my thoughts are with you at a difficult time in yor life, keep the faith, find something to smile about on a daily basis-no matter how small.:)

nsd_user663_2783 profile image
nsd_user663_2783

... I will likely be the first one to fall out of the group and out of the forum. It has nothing to do with wanting/needing to smoke... I just realized that in order to stay quit one has to want to live and I guess I don't really want to live that much... Quite frankly once my Mum is gone (she has Alzheimer's and is 80 years old so it won't take all that long)... I have no other family/relatives anywhere, am not married, don't have kids and not all that many friends (such as they are), so once she is gone... who cares... Just wanted to say thanks to one and all.... ... Not sure if this is just a bad day... (I don't want to actually smoke, but am feeling really messed up) or a permanant thing....

Hi Steve

Our paths haven't crossed before and I haven't actually quit smoking yet (but soon, very soon). I'm sorry to hear about your Mum and can understand how you are feeling at the moment but would reiterate what others have said and advise you to get help from the doctor or counselling. Also there are people who do care, we on here do for one. We will always be here to help, lend a sympathetic ear and give advice where we can.

Also, smoking won't make things any better. Please, do get some professional help though. There are people out there who can help you get through this upsetting time.

Take care Steve and hope to see you soon on here when I have finally chucked the weed out for good.

Jan

xx

NicFirth profile image
NicFirth10 Years Smoke Free

Steve, as has been said, speak to a professional, in the 1st instance your doctor.

You have a very low mood at present, which may be depression and might or might not be a down to nicotine withdrawal or at least exacerbated by it. I've had my fair share of "down" points in the quit and they are horrible, albeit not quit as bad as you seem to be feeling at present. For me they have passed in a short time.

As a short term measure exercise has a beneficial effect ones mood so it might be worth having a run or heading to the gym if you can. Longer term if you are floundering for a purpose take up an interest or hobby that you can work at and that will give you some sense of achievement. I enjoy martial arts and woodwork both of which give me a great sense of satisfaction and achievement.

All the best and let us know how you feeling later.

Cheers

Nic

nsd_user663_2981 profile image
nsd_user663_2981

Hi Jan *waves*

Was just thinking about you there! Planning on stopping anyday soon? Same day as last year?

Good to have you back, hope you make it this time! ;)

nsd_user663_3816 profile image
nsd_user663_3816

Bless you my love, dont apologise hun you have nothing to apologise for.

I am however really worried about you and i think you should go and see your GP hun as you are extremely low.

I do think that maybe coming of the ciggys is contributing to this black day as well as what is going on in your personal life, your mum with alzheimers must be so so difficult for you.

Yesterday you seemed quite chirpy on here and was looking forward to week 4.

What ever you do, dont forget that you do have friends on here that care about you.

Denise

xx

nsd_user663_2981 profile image
nsd_user663_2981

Wkd Fairy - have you actually seen the original message in this thread - and so realise how inappropriate your hello is ?

Sorry, felt it had to be said

No I didn't see the original message because I clicked on Jan Southons profile and read her last message.

I wouldn't call it 'inappropriate'. I don't recall speaking to you before either.

Stevebuta:

I have suffered from depression in the past. You should go to your doctor who will prescribe either medication or counselling. I take St Johns Wort myself because anti-d's do not agree with me.

You don't have to feel like you are alone, stopping smoking is quite a lifechanging thing and i'm sorry about your Mum.

Fairy

nsd_user663_3828 profile image
nsd_user663_3828

Sorry....

..... was just having a really rough moment... Have these sometimes when my Mom is not feeling well and there are days I freak out like this....

On the other hand I was stunned to see how many people reached out to me and want to thank all of you... was humbling.... and tons of good advice... I will pass on the GP since it is not depression (I actually work for a Hospital...lol)... just a really rough day.... that has seen a number of things come together... and I have not and will not start smoking again.... Just needed to clear my head.... and rant perhaps.... thanks all

:D:D:D

nsd_user663_2981 profile image
nsd_user663_2981

Well they say talking about it is the best thing! This forum was good for me in my early days. You have problems at home and when you top it off with nicotine withdrawal things seem magnified. Hope you get more good days than bad days in future.

NicFirth profile image
NicFirth10 Years Smoke Free

Glad you are feeling a bit better, :)

nsd_user663_3849 profile image
nsd_user663_3849

Steve,

I am so sorry you are feeling like this but so glad you decided to write on this forum rather than do nothing.

You are probably feeling pretty exhausted at the moment - giving up smoking is tough but having a parent with Alzheimer's is tougher. I do know, my father had it and died with it in his fifties.

I visit to your doctor or some contact with the Alzheimer's society would be a good thing.

You need to get a focus back into your life - losing people close to you is SO hard. A focus, especially a fitness type of one would be great. What do you enjoy doing, cycling? walking? There might be a local club you could join.

Please try to think positive - I know it's so hard for you at the moment but there are people who care - I do.

Get the most out of this life - you started this year so positively by giving up smoking.

nsd_user663_3816 profile image
nsd_user663_3816

Steve

So pleased you came back and posted, i was so worried as all of us were.

And so pleased you are feeling a tad better hun.

Thinking of you

Denise

xx

nsd_user663_1733 profile image
nsd_user663_1733

Steve so very sorry I missed this post earlyer and so pleased you are feeling a little better for writing things down. I know how you feel lost my mum myself and its not nice watching some one you love going thro bad times. please stay with us mate it may help.xxxxx

nsd_user663_3687 profile image
nsd_user663_3687

im so glad you seem to be feeling better :)

anytime you need to rant, just post. theres enough of us here that are happy to try and help and give advice

and also sooo glad you didnt smoke - well done!!!

nsd_user663_3838 profile image
nsd_user663_3838

Hi Steve,

Glad you're feeling a bit better....you must look after yourself.....must be really hard for you and to top it off there's that bloody monkey to deal with as well... :o

I agree with everyone else, positivity, some type of excercise, maybe a gp visit even if it's to answer the 'do you smoke?' question and you can say for the first time ever.....'no I'm a non-smoker!' Bet that would feel good! Chin up... Post on here if you need to rant again :)

nsd_user663_3845 profile image
nsd_user663_3845

Glad you're feelin a bit better Steve, didn't reply earlier cause I just wouldn't have known what to say, I'm the sort of person who cowardly stays away from people who have problems - I just don't feel I can offer them anything so take the easy way out and keep clear for a while:(

nsd_user663_3738 profile image
nsd_user663_3738

hi steve,,like linda i have just read your post,,and so sorry,,i to lost my mom through cancer,,and i know just how you feel,,i think the guys and gals on here were worried so much about you,,we are all one big family on here,,we on here are so glad you posted on here,and the best thing is you did not smoke,,stay cool be strong,and most of all keep the faith tony

nsd_user663_1733 profile image
nsd_user663_1733

Hi Steve

how you feeling today. we are here for you smoking or not. linda xxxxx

nsd_user663_3728 profile image
nsd_user663_3728

hi steve

well done on your quit sorry you have been feeling down in the dumps but glad you are feeling better today we all have off days but know how you felt I lost my dad and my husband to smoking related illnesses but life does go on and YES it does get better

love margaretxxx

nsd_user663_3828 profile image
nsd_user663_3828

I once again

embrace all of you for all the help and motivation... THANK YOU!!!!!

:o:):D

nsd_user663_2783 profile image
nsd_user663_2783

Hi Jan *waves*

Was just thinking about you there! Planning on stopping anyday soon? Same day as last year?

Good to have you back, hope you make it this time! ;)

Hi Wkd - "waves back"

Thank you so much. I have been thinking about stopping about the same day as I did last year. It seemed more of a success than the last one. Going CT this time so reading a lot from The Tales and Catwoman's link in last week's post.

Sorry, inappropriately replied on this thread. I should have PMd you instead.

My apologies to all.

Take Care Wkd and see you soon. xxx

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