It seems like a long time ago I was browsing the forum for the first time and wondering how good it must feel to get to this room (for some reason up to month 3 seemed "do-able"... month 4&5, month 6, and 1 year seemed so very far away).... well, let me tell you that it feels incredible! It seemed such a long way away back then... but it really hasn't taken long after all!
Today it is 3 calendar months since I took my last lungful of tobacco smoke. I am starting Month 4 of my quit. It is also 13 weeks to the day.
You may remember a post about the number 13 from me back on day 13 of my quit.
13 has a bit of significance to me.
I was born on the 13th.
I passed my high school exams on a 13th.
I got my current job as IT manager on Jan 13th 2007.
And of course, the first full day of my quit was the 13th
It's generally very lucky for me. Today is day 13 of my quit - and I'm struggling a bit, if I'm honest.
Last night I dreamt I had 2 puffs and woke up panicking in a cold sweat... took me several minutes to realise it was the middle of the night and there were no fags nearby. A cold moment of realisation that my "demon" is still not asleep.
Also, just before bed last night I had my first temper tantrum :mad: Not nice. Luckily the Mrs took it in her stride.... "About time, I thought you were too cheerful recently" were her exact words.
And I have been, my only change in mood has been for the better so far - but today I am grumpy as hell
Damn you number 13!!!!!!!!!
It seems like a different lifetime - but it also seems like yesterday.
I was at a point where I was absolutely determined that I was going to make it - this time I would not fail, although I didn't know how.
I hadn't yet been converted fully to the education method...I thought I had but if the truth is told I was still learning to trust myself instead of the people who we are told are the experts (Doctors, pharmacists, the government (!) ).
13 is my lucky number, always has been - and I should have known that something good would come out of it.
You see, I had been using Champix - and it was wonderful. So easy. I didn't have any craves, urges or anything. All I had was the day 13 grumps. Day 5 was tough and there were occasional automatic responses that made me reach for a smoke... but it was all overcome without any real problems. Day 13 was different. It was the first point in the quit that I honestly had to think about it. It was the first time I had to dig deep into myself and choose not to smoke. The weird thing is that the problem wasn't craves, or urges. The problem was me... I was just having a bad day, and I really wanted to smoke.
But I didn't. I chose not to smoke. I decided to stay strong and not to turn back. I made that decision at least a hundred times that day!
After day 13 had passed and I was still quit, I decided that I had to do something to make sure I could handle it better in future. I had already started my education and had thought I had it covered, obviously there was more to do! So I sat and had another read of Allen Carr. Then a read of Woofmang, the tales and the message board. Then a read of this forum and a good think.
I suddenly realised for the first time that I knew for certain why I smoked for so long - it wasn't for enjoyment. It wasn't to relax and it wasn't to concentrate. It was because I believed I had to. I didn't suddenly know this simple fact because someone had told me. I knew it for myself for the first time. I just sat there and thought "Of course - it's so bloody obvious!". And now I believed.... not that I could quit, but that I already had - for good.
Because I also suddenly knew for sure that cigarettes do nothing for me. Not that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, that they do nothing for me. It seemed ludicrous that I could have gone so many years without realising this most obvious fact!!!
On day 15, I truly beleived that I would never smoke again. I still do.
Just after Day 13 was also when I first started questioning my choice of Champix, actually no - I started questioning whether it would be better to stop using it at this point and go it alone - so 3 weeks later (after a bit of a mental tug of war with myself) I stopped taking it, halfway through the course. I felt incredible - for the first time I felt like I owned my own quit. I was on my own and doing it!!
It meant I had to go through week 7 on my own, with no help. I had a very rough week after injuring myself and the will to fight was as weak as the pain was strong. But it was enough, just. And I did it on my own, with no Champix - just the support of you guys on this forum and my belief in myself. I felt so powerful after that. So even week 7 without help was a good thing.
So, now - at the end of week 13 and Month 3 - how is it?
It's great, it really is. I couldn't be happier with myself. I feel better, I sound better, I look better, I smell better.
I know myself better. I know that I will NEVER smoke again
So today, the same as everyday since day 13 - I make a conscious choice not to smoke, not one single puff. I choose not to feed my addiction. I make this choice freely and easily.
I love the number 13 -
Kevin wrote this - CLICKY LINKY - at his 3 month mark, and it's beautiful. Anyone reading this that's lacking inspiration today... that article should do the trick...
*Does his little dance*
Written by
nsd_user663_3633
To view profiles and participate in discussions please or .
Really enjoyed the post and the link. You have come a long way and Im very glad that Ive got to know you. Another bouns its the 13 Again tomorrow. If I was still married it would have been my 33 aniv. HEHE xxxxxxxxxxxx
Thanks guys, it seems to be getting easier and easier at the moment.
I know that you shouldn't tempt fate - but that's the truth, at the moment every day is easier than the last. Still on my guard though, still writing my diary and reminding myself of the position I am in (an abstaining addict) every day in the hope that when things do get tougher I am ready to deal with it... and still continuing my "mental realignment" (as Nic would put it) by reading and re-reading.
A happy ex smoker - fully intending to stay that way
I hit two months this weekend and take heart in what you say - that it does get easier and easier not to get caught up in memories about smoking again!
It's very kind of you to say so, but I am not doing anything you aren't. We are all just not smoking - just for today. Tomorrow we get to make the choice... it's so great to be able to do that!
I hit two months this weekend and take heart in what you say - that it does get easier and easier not to get caught up in memories about smoking again!
Take it from me that it does get easier, much easier. But there will be times (as I found out almost to my cost during week 7) that make you want to chew your arms off so you can't smoke.
You must embrace the easy times, but be fully ready for the tough ones. Thankfully the tough times become few and far between - but you still have to be very ready.
This, unfortunately, is the lot of an addict. If only we knew as kids what we know now!!!
Stu, I missed this post first time around and can I also please add my hearty congratulations...!!!
Because I also suddenly knew for sure that cigarettes do nothing for me. Not that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, that they do nothing for me. It seemed ludicrous that I could have gone so many years without realising this most obvious fact!!!
On day 15, I truly beleived that I would never smoke again. I still do....
Let's face it, getting the penny to drop is the priority in ALL quits. It's so nice to read someone else's interpretation of the "seeing the light moment."
It doesn't mean you're home free as such an ingrained habit still has you reaching for non-existant fags for a good while into the future but I find their absence now doesn't produce any dismay.
I think that the greatest shame is the pro-smoking lobby who campaign for the right to enjoy tobacco in the same way someone would fight for the right to put their hand in an open flame.
Thanks Austin, and everyone else who has answered. The replies mean a lot to me - because, lets face it, If I hadn't found this place after 7 days with Champix I would probably not be quit today.
Content on HealthUnlocked does not replace the relationship between you and doctors or other healthcare professionals nor the advice you receive from them.
Never delay seeking advice or dialling emergency services because of something that you have read on HealthUnlocked.
Week 13: bit dull.
