Im officially into my third month yesterday - 63 days quit from old smokie( get it right up him ) <<as they say in scotland!
I had my xmas night out last Saturday and at one point in the night i was offered a cig , i immediately said no thanks ! As soon as i said no thanks and the bearer of the death sticks had walked away i then started to feel a lil urge to see "old Nic " again . Had the pattering of thoughts going through my head telling me to reunite with my old friend!!
It seemed my head was telling me that i enjoyed cigarettes before-, that when i blew out the smoke from my mouth there was no better feeling in the world...it was relief ....like a massage after a hard day ....like putting your feet up after walking miles...it was your reward for all you had done....i had earned it!
I recognised this for what it was ofcourse - it was a craving .....but this was a different craving than before . It was an almost nostalgic urge to smoke again , and in some ways harder to confront than the initial cravings you get when you first stop . I know i hated smoking when i did..i hated myself when i was smoking ...i always wanted to stop when i was smoking....so how can i for a brief moment remember smoking as being good and something that i missed?
Like i said im now going into my 3rd month quit and ive heard that alot of people fall out on the third month....i have often wondered why this is but after Saturday i think this is the reason why, The Nicotine comes at you from another angle than before ....its like its an intelligent being almost in the way that it recognises its beat and tries a different tactic ! hard to describe but can the others that are 2 months + in to their quit relate to this? Add into the equation that your initial resolve and excitment has dwindled since your quit date then this is a very dangerous time.
Many people on here have said Education is the best way to stay quit...read read read....I cant express enough how true this is, if i hadnt stayed close to forums or read up on what lay ahead in my quit then i think "old Nic " would have won the day with his dirty tactics at my night out.
Just thought i would share this experience for the ones on the same stage of their quit as i am and just to remind them....... Be aware of such things , and be prepared for these thoughts and feeling towards smoking! When they arise .....kick its ass !!