How do you know when it is the time?

Hello all,

Just a post to say ask how does one know when THE quit has happened, I have been quit over a month now, been in every potential trigger situation and just no longer feel the desire to smoke. This is fantastic in its self as each day is a blessing especially when it is smokefree. However underlying this is the feeling that this is the time, of course I still have my guards up and come on here everyday to remind myself of how important this is but does anybody know if there are any signs, or if it is simply a matter of only time will tell?

xx

sachmo

20 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hello all,

    Just a post to say ask how does one know when THE quit has happened, I have been quit over a month now, been in every potential trigger situation and just no longer feel the desire to smoke. This is fantastic in its self as each day is a blessing especially when it is smokefree. However underlying this is the feeling that this is the time, of course I still have my guards up and come on here everyday to remind myself of how important this is but does anybody know if there are any signs, or if it is simply a matter of only time will tell?

    xx

    sachmo

    My personal belief is that if you get past the first few weeks and are finding it easy, the little nagging cravings are easy to dismiss and you don't often think of cigarettes then it's a permanent quit. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SMOKE EVER AGAIN.

    You will be in situations from time to time where you could smoke if you choose to - as long as you don't, then the job is done.

    I know people who have been quit for years and still find it really difficult - and they are the ones who I think quit without being ready... they did it by pure willpower, and thats awesome. But they will never be free.

    By the sound of it, your quit is permanent... as long as you let it by not smoking again.

  • My personal belief is that if you get past the first few weeks and are finding it easy, the little nagging cravings are easy to dismiss and you don't often think of cigarettes then it's a permanent quit. AS LONG AS YOU DON'T SMOKE EVER AGAIN.

    You will be in situations from time to time where you could smoke if you choose to - as long as you don't, then the job is done.

    I know people who have been quit for years and still find it really difficult - and they are the ones who I think quit without being ready... they did it by pure willpower, and thats awesome. But they will never be free.

    By the sound of it, your quit is permanent... as long as you let it by not smoking again.

    A really succinct post Stuart and i totally agree with you.

    I think if you find it easy to overcome the urges to smoke, without torturing yourself that you NEED a fag (you dont need it by the way) then you are well on the way.

    Yes there will be occassions when you hit a trigger but these become so far apart that it is really easy to say no.

    The whole concept of "Never Take Another puff" is what makes a quit "the one" as long as you stick to it.

  • I suppose you do change from a smoker who is trying to quit to a former smoker, when you feel the time is right.

    At the end of the day its not how you see yourself that is important its that you never take another puff. :D

  • Congrats on your quit so far.Ithink if you have your head together and alot of willpower you can do it,but to say you have went through all the triggers,I dont think so.It takes about a year for that to happen,but quitting at such a young age is an advantage and wish you all the success you deserve....

  • Congrats on your quit so far.Ithink if you have your head together and alot of willpower you can do it,but to say you have went through all the triggers,I dont think so.It takes about a year for that to happen,but quitting at such a young age is an advantage and wish you all the success you deserve....Hi Sachmo, l tend to agree with Dubbs.

    I have been quit for just over 9mths now, and the 8th & 9th months were a bit of a nightmare. :eek: I had thought that by now, as up until this time it had been relatively easy, l would not be thinking of cigarettes at all. :cool: Not the case i'm afraid, l still need to be on my guard at times. Having said that, i don't think that if l had been offered one, l would have taken it, as l so enjoy not being a slave to the old nicotine. :D

    Love Josie XXX

  • I know this is THE quit because whenever I get a notion (no craves or urges any more) for a cigarette, I can smile as I think "No, I don't smoke " :)

    I never felt like this on previous quits as I really thought I was "missing out" on something good :rolleyes:

    In fact, although my previous record was 8 months (nearly there! :)), I'm almost sure I'd had sneaky puffs or the odd fag well before now :o

    I have been quit for 7 Months, 2 Weeks, 3 Days, 20 minutes and 48 seconds (231 days). I have saved £1,155.06 by not smoking 4,620 cigarettes. I have saved 2 Weeks, 2 Days and 1 hour of my life. My Quit Date: 17/02/2008 22:00

  • In fact, although my previous record was 8 months (nearly there! :)), I'm almost sure I'd had sneaky puffs or the odd fag well before now :o

    Oh, that sounds sooooo familiar. Every previous quit failed because I felt that I was depriving myself then tried to sneak the odd one in here or there.

  • Congrats on getting this far Satchmo and so pleased you have found it relatively easy...

    Agree with what everyone else has said and would add that after 6months I still get the notion to smoke - NOT a crave, just a thought....

    Having said that, I had the week from hell last week in my personal life and although I did think "what I need is a cigarette" I knew bloody well it wouldn't help...but I was sorely tempted just for the hell of it...(and I knew it would annoy the hell out of the BF!!!:p)

    And, personally I think once you have been addicted to cigarettes you have to always be "aware" - I've heard so many stories of people who've been quit for years and yet they still relapse...

    hope it is the one for you and that it continues to be stressless:D

    nicky

  • Interesting...

    Thank you for the replys you all raised some interesting points.

    I think I have deduced from this that of course in order to make it THE quit you simply never have to smoke again, I suppose what I have noticed is a change of mentality I dont feel I am depriving myself of anything. And by saying I have gone through all my triggers I meant this in a general sense as in i have only been quit a month and 6days so i do not yet know what it is like to do christmas smokefree forinstance but I have done social, stressful,big life changes, after a meal, relaxing, concentrating and in general all the situations where i would have most thought I will have a ciggarette. Now I just dont want to... So my next question is how to deal with smoker friends? I just hate the though of breathing in others smoke now, I hate the smell of it and it feels like i am giving myself a slap in the face after all the work I have done to get smoke out of my body and life. i am becomming (not outwardly but inwardly) very judgemetal of my smoker friends (which is most of my friends!) and I am wanting to hang out with them less, I know this is wrong however but just cant get my head around it at the moment... Any advice guys??!

    x

    sachmo

  • Thank you for the replys you all raised some interesting points.

    I think I have deduced from this that of course in order to make it THE quit you simply never have to smoke again, I suppose what I have noticed is a change of mentality I dont feel I am depriving myself of anything. And by saying I have gone through all my triggers I meant this in a general sense as in i have only been quit a month and 6days so i do not yet know what it is like to do christmas smokefree forinstance but I have done social, stressful,big life changes, after a meal, relaxing, concentrating and in general all the situations where i would have most thought I will have a ciggarette. Now I just dont want to... So my next question is how to deal with smoker friends? I just hate the though of breathing in others smoke now, I hate the smell of it and it feels like i am giving myself a slap in the face after all the work I have done to get smoke out of my body and life. i am becomming (not outwardly but inwardly) very judgemetal of my smoker friends (which is most of my friends!) and I am wanting to hang out with them less, I know this is wrong however but just cant get my head around it at the moment... Any advice guys??!

    x

    sachmo

    It's not wrong if it's how you feel, but they may resent you if you say it. Resent is jealousy though ;)

    How to deal with it is tricky - I tend to go to the smoking area at work and stand chatting for 5 minutes or so just so that I can get used to the smell while not smoking. This makes the times I accidentally expose myself to smoke more bearable.

    I would avoid commenting to your friends personally, they will defend their cigarettes and their habit the same way you used to. Just something like standing upwind helps, and if you can't avoid the smoke that way - asking them not to exhale towards you may help... "Sorry, but the smell gets to me now I've quit".

    It's all down to you and your friends personalities though, if your normal conversation is jokey - make light of it. If you're normally serious, ask seriously.

  • Hi Sachmo, you have not been quit for too long yet and will find, as the weeks roll by, that your outlook on smoking changes considerably. For instance, when you see people standing outside pubs, in the cold and pouring rain, freezing half to death, you may find that a little smile plays around your lips, as you think " I am soooo glad that is not me ".:cool: You will also find that seeing others smoke does not bother you. What you may find though, is that certain actions that you do, provoke a sudden and unexpected craving. The good thing is, it will only last for a few seconds and then it will be gone, but at the time, it can come as a big unpleasant surprise. You are doing great. Take things day by day and give yourself a pat on the back for each day conquered. And remember, ALWAYS be on your guard.:eek:

    Love Josie XXX

  • Surely with the "no smoking" ban its easy for you to avoid being with your friends when they smoke? Just don't go outside with them when they smoke!!:confused:

    And try not to become judgemental!! Nothing worse than an ex-smoker to a smoker!! You liked them when you smoked, they haven't changed, so you should like them now... Being a smoker doesn't make you a bad person...

    Just feel smug - but keep it to yourself!!!;) (if you want to remain friends with them!)

    nicky

  • i am becomming (not outwardly but inwardly) very judgemetal of my smoker friends (which is most of my friends!) and I am wanting to hang out with them less, I know this is wrong however but just cant get my head around it at the moment... Any advice guys??!

    x

    sachmo

    KILL THEM!!!!!! :eek:

    dirty smelly smokers!!!!

    Only kidding (well half kidding) :D

    I agree with what Nicky said!!!

  • Hahah

    I am with TDK on this one!!

    I feel like I must have made myself unclear, it is not just the smell but the passive smoke that is bothering me, either smoking is poison or it isn't... and having worked hard to free myself from it I am finding it hard to be forced to passive smoke.

    The ban is a mixed thing as most of my friends will sit outside for the duration of their time at the pub so i would be sitting inside on my own if I was not to join them, also i don't really do pubs that much anyway as I am not a big drinker. the main problems I have been having are at smokers homes.... And one simply cant ask someone to not smoke in their own home, the day I wrote the email I had come back from a dinner party where the other 6 guests all smoked. I asked if I could open a window and still got some very defensive remarks :confused:. I remember once when a non smoker came to my house and asked me not to smoke, i told him to pi$$ off!! And stand by that, however I do't want to cut myself off from people i love, yet i just hate the feeling of being poisoned and waking up with smokey clothes and hair when I havn't even smoked:o.

  • ah!

    I understand a bit more now.

    I would tend to agree, visiting my Mum would be difficult these days as she smokes but luckily most of my friends don't.

    In the short term, why don't you invite your friends to your place? Or arrange to meet in places they can't smoke? Bowling, restaurants, all sorts of places can be fun.

    I agree that it's difficult, but surely they understand how the smoke affects you now that you've quit? Silly me, they are still smokers - they don't give a toss about anyone elses health.

    Better still, show them this and let me tell them that they SHOULD THINK OF SOMEONE OTHER THAN THEMSELVES AND PUT THE DAMN FAG OUT. I don't give a toss if they want to slowly kill themselves, but your FRIEND has decided to stop poisoning themself and deserves the little bit of respect from you. All it takes to show respect is not to force your poison on them. Seriously, all you need to do to show a little understanding is to smoke in another room...

    OK, time to stop being silly. I don't know the answer, it's sad but true that a smokers first love and best friend is the fags... mine was and everyone else comes second - I even went for a smoke several times during the birth of my son, how selfish is that? And then I would put my fags ahead of anything he wanted me to do (play, read, etc). I'm so glad I saw sense.

  • Sachmo

    Its sad but we must live and let live. We can not tell others how to live also they canot make us live by there rules. Maybe when they see how well your doing it may change some to think of quitting Then you will feel pround but we cannot Make them. xxxx

  • Thank you

    Thank you stuart and linda, I feel alot more understood now. I suppose it is just one of those things, having them round mine more is a good idea.. (but I live on a boat so it is a bit pokey!!) and I have started going out for meals and cafes rather then going to the pub, I think I will end up seeing lots of people less as smoking is such a big part of their caracter and it is not something i want to be associated with anymore really. However I also feel sorry for my smoker friends, particualrly the older ones, you can really see the damge it is doing and the streangth of grip the addiction has on them. My father in particular is a really sad case, i used to smoke 35 a day and when I told him this he shouted 'NO YOU DIDN'T YOU DON'T EVEN SMOKE AS MUCH AS I DO AND I SMOKE LESS THAN THAT' The truth of it is he smokes at least 50-60 a day. So I suppose this is just another phase of the detox, if I was giving up heroin it would be natural for me to distance myself from people taking it, I think the real danger lies in the fact that they still look at life under the spell of nicotine, the way they think, smoke and act about ciggarettes is classic junkie behavior and i really don't want to start seeing that as normal again... Onwards and forwards I am going to do everything I can to stay smokefree.

    Once again thanks for the replys.

    xx

    sachmo

  • I think the real danger lies in the fact that they still look at life under the spell of nicotine, the way they think, smoke and act about ciggarettes is classic junkie behavior and i really don't want to start seeing that as normal again... Onwards and forwards I am going to do everything I can to stay smokefree.

    Once again thanks for the replys.

    xx

    sachmo

    That's exactly it. It's sad, but until these people wake up and smell - well, anything except smoke - theres probably not a lot you can do.

    In your shoes I would be avoiding going to their homes, and probably the pub too.

    You and your quit is far more important.

    I wish you continued good luck.

  • I think it is very common to become Anti Smoking in the 1st few months but as time progresses you become more tolerant but pitying, certainly that is what's happening to me.

    I find it unpleasant to be in a smoke filled environment, and would rather not visit the home of a smoker, but on the occasions I need to and just grin and bear it.

    Thankfully I know fewer and fewer smokers (due to a changing circle of friends and smokers quitting rather than dying!) so it is a reducing problem, for me.

    Cheers

    Nic

  • Yea Its funny My boss said if she smoked lots she would quit but she only smokes between 2/5 a day. (in her dreams about 20 at least HEHE )xxxx

You may also like...