How do you stay focused

Ok, this will probably be my last post in month 2, so I need some tips.

I felt the first 2 to 3 weeks were exciting, something to celebrate, my ability to beat this addiction surprised me. Now though, I feel flat. I know every day smoke free is a great achievement but I am just not feeling it:(.

Any tips on how to stay focused would be great thanks

16 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Thks for the welcome. This has been my trouble in previous attempts to quit. The excitement and determination wear off and then I started playing mind games ... Why shouldn't I have a fag if I want one ... Thats why this time I think the vast amount of knowledge out there of why we smoked is so important, then you can understand the process and the long journey to quitting for good :) stay strong x

  • i have little game going in my head...my head says ill be smoking before i go away(june)...im proving it wrong everyday:D

  • everyone seems to hit this stage its the transition between smoking being your old normal way of life and now the new non smoking you settling into this new normal way of life and when the shine fades and it really gets to us but you will find life goes on and quickly this feeling fades try and mark things like 100 days and maybe this is my first birthday as a non smoker etc

    my next biggy is my second birthday as a non smoker at the end of may

    hope this helps it sounds abit babbly just ignore me if it makes no sense lol

    boo

  • Hi Shojam,

    I think know what you mean. The shine wears away after a while and all you're left with is the raw you, or so it seems. The enthusiasm is drained, leaving you feeling somehow empty, devoid of purpose, wondering what all the fuss was about. Big whoop, you may say. The anti-climax hits you face-on, making you start to wonder what you expected in the first place.

    The realization comes that you're not going to be a film star, buy a big house, drive a big car, marry the husband / wife of your dreams, save the world, split the atom, put it back together again, find a cure for cancer... I think you get the point :D

    The fact is, quitting smoking means not doing something! Even though it can be a huge thrill to have quit for a while, it can also feel strange to be celebrating having not done something for a sufficient amount of time! :eek:

    I think that rather than staying focused on the quit, and thinking how long has it been, how many have I not smoked, how much money did I save etc. you really need to start thinking about what you are going to do with your life, in the next few minutes, hours, days, weeks etc. Think about the things that you can do now that you no longer smoke (into sport?), what you can buy with the money saved.

    I am absolutely convinced that stopping smoking successfully and healthily is at least as much about thinking toward the future as it is remembering the past. After all, you can influence the future, but you cannot change the past.

    The big key I believe, is looking forward step by step.

    Alex.

  • Hi Shojam,

    I think know what you mean. The shine wears away after a while and all you're left with is the raw you, or so it seems. The enthusiasm is drained, leaving you feeling somehow empty, devoid of purpose, wondering what all the fuss was about. Big whoop, you may say. The anti-climax hits you face-on, making you start to wonder what you expected in the first place.

    The realization comes that you're not going to be a film star, buy a big house, drive a big car, marry the husband / wife of your dreams, save the world, split the atom, put it back together again, find a cure for cancer... I think you get the point :D

    The fact is, quitting smoking means not doing something! Even though it can be a huge thrill to have quit for a while, it can also feel strange to be celebrating having not done something for a sufficient amount of time! :eek:

    I think that rather than staying focused on the quit, and thinking how long has it been, how many have I not smoked, how much money did I save etc. you really need to start thinking about what you are going to do with your life, in the next few minutes, hours, days, weeks etc. Think about the things that you can do now that you no longer smoke (into sport?), what you can buy with the money saved.

    I am absolutely convinced that stopping smoking successfully and healthily is at least as much about thinking toward the future as it is remembering the past. After all, you can influence the future, but you cannot change the past.

    The big key I believe, is looking forward step by step.

    Alex.

    I think Alex has hit it right on the head. Most of the things in life for which we are rewarded, informally or formally, are because of things we DO, not things we DON'T DO.

    Fact is, the day you quit smoking you were finished. You'd achieved your goal. You were an ex-smoker. Oh, sure, there were a few little details to clean up, like overcoming cravings, eliminating nicotine from your system, and such (just minor details, right???) but aside from that, there was nothing more to do. You can't quit faster, or harder, or more efficiently, or anything else. You can quit, or you can smoke. That's pretty much it.

    So for a while, it's fun to count the hours, the days, the weeks, and the months, because there isn't anything else to do, right? But that becomes monotonous, because you eventually hit a plateau where you're not smoking, you're not craving, you're not doing a LOT of things.

    When that happens, like Alex has said, it's time to turn your attention to what you WANT in life, not what you DON'T WANT. What do you want to create? Better health? Better relationships? More time for hobbies? It's all up to you!

    It's time to shift from what you're giving up to what you're going to create. And that will mean DOING something, not "NOT DOING" something.

  • Become a ninja?

  • lol Lisa can I join your ninja crew?

    Good posts boys. It's true we have more energy so should change our sustainable habits and use it positively. It's tricky building up healthy sustainable habits but good to have these as the long-term goal.

    Right now though I'm going to turn my immediate attention to NOT eating chocolate. :p

  • Right now though I'm going to turn my immediate attention to NOT eating chocolate. :p

    He he, PM me for an address where you can safely dispose of all that NOT eaten chocolate. :D

    Alex.

  • I've seen the other side of being smoke free and i loved it. What drives me to keep at it is that i'm not getting any younger. I simply have to quit before it's to late or at least lower the risks associated with smoking.

    The first few weeks you survive on adrenaline but that soon evaporates. The long slog after that seems to go on for months and in truth it does if you let it.

    Reaching the first month is a superb millstone for anyone but deep in my heart of hearts i know that is just the beginning of the torture. I personally feel it actually gets worse right up until at least 8-9 months and beyond. I remember my last quit and the horrible journey to recovery. All the hard work undone due to that little imp that sits on your shoulder. I'm much wiser now but i did beat myself up for ages about it. I still do.

    Who really wants to spend large parts of their lives quitting ? it's such a painful process and i won't be repeating it again. This is my second serious quit and i'm far more educated this time around.

    Stay strong all

  • He he, PM me for an address where you can safely dispose of all that NOT eaten chocolate. :D

    Alex.

    Ah ah Alex.....it's my thread therefore it's my chocolate:D

    Thanks for the tips guys, maybe just need a bit of excitement in my life:eek::eek:

  • Yep - there is a no man's land in every quit, where quitting is no longer novel, but being a non smoker still does not feel like the norm. Where thoughts like 'I wonder if I'd still enjoy the taste of a cigarette' or 'well I've stopped for this long, I could easily stop again if i had one now' and 'but I've been so good, I really deserve just one' can trip you up.

    My method of getting through this was inspired by Woofmang, on the 'Tales from the Quit' blog. Which is just to say to myself every day when I get up 'Today I am going to choose not to smoke'. It sounds ridiculous, but it was enough to see me through. When those thoughts - and sometimes serious triggers - cropped up, I just kept saying 'I am choosing not to smoke today'. It worked. And now not smoking is normality for me, I don't need to be massively focused about it (although if a thought comes along, which it occasionally does, i still repeat the mantra).

    Basically what I'm saying is just keep going. And the tip about looking for something new and exciting to take up is a really good one too!!

    Helen x

  • You're not alone felic. Just think of that '10 minutes later' syndrome when you have become a smoker again. Just not worth it!

  • How do I stay focused

    Morning Shojam difficult one and as someone else commented it's all in the mind. I suppose what's happening to us is that though we have physically stopped smoking our sub-conscience has not quite adapted to that fact. As a matter of interest this morning I was speaking with an insurance salesman who mentioned that their industry doesn't classify someone who as stopped smoking as non-smoker until at least 1 year after their last cancer stick.

    So my friends it's onwards and upwards as they say all we can do is soldier on keeping it in the day even the minute if that's what it takes.

    Michael a.k.a:- lefoy123

  • I can vouch for that Michael aka Lefoy, I just took our life insurance and it cost me another 33%! Hopefully it will be reviewed after a year .. so that should be added into the cost of smoking (or saving).

    To continue on the focus thing .. how on earth do I stay focused on my work? Concentration is out the window since stopping.

  • Here in Belgium you have to have quit for 2 years to get cheaper mortgage insurance... Particularly important for me as I want to purchase a new place soon.

    Alex.

  • My gods .. I shall place a large notice on my pc monitor £10 every month for me - I think that's inducement enough (being an ex rollup smoker the monetary incentive was never paramount).

    I just have to make sure the teenagers don't get at it! :p

You may also like...