Struggling and ashamed!!: Hi... I haven't... - Weight Loss NHS

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Struggling and ashamed!!

CrimsonMama
CrimsonMama6 stone

Hi... I haven't been here for a while. I feel ashamed because I have been putting on weight! I reached my goal weight of 9 stone before Xmas(even got to 8st 10 at one point)... But allowed myself a week long binge at Xmas! Put on about 5-6lbs. Thought that's not too bad... But struggled to kerb my appetite and went up more.

Then I got ill for two weeks so couldn't exercise as much and comfort ate. Went up to 10 stone. Started getting back on my diet then my daughter was sick for four days! So out the window my routines went again! Then my dad went into hospital in intensive care! My mum is 70 and needs a lot of help... Esp now with the shopping chaos! This week I was doing really well and lost 4lbs! But then my daughter had an eye injury and had to go A&E! So out the window my diet went again!

And now schools closed indefinitely! Routines are going to be even harder!

I know part of my "excuses" are excuses and I should have somehow been stronger! But it seems something keeps coming up stopping me from getting a good routine and willpower going! Oh and my mum just told me she's got 'nice big Easter egg' to give me! Aghh!

32 Replies
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energy1
energy1Restart Sept 2019

Crimson mama sounds like you have had a lot to cope and deal with don’t beat your self up about this ! Reflect and make a plan perhaps down load the NHS menu plan at beginning of Weight loss NHS May give Yuit some tips to plan and prep think you need to do some me time ! Don’t be to hard on your self it’s really hard at moment do some self healing you have got this lovely xx

energy1
energy1Restart Sept 2019

I too having hard time so don’t be to hard on your self x

energy1
energy1Restart Sept 2019

Why don’t you do the happiness one as well on here as mindset does connect with diet x

No shame, you know the process, just draw a line a press ahead with healthy eating.

I too have an Easter Egg. I'll be enjoying it over several days as I've planned my portions. Such things are allowed if you take them into account. The most tricky part is the unplanned eating, but you know this as you've succeeded before and you will succeed again. 😊

CrimsonMama
CrimsonMama6 stone
in reply to SofaJockey

I know!! Its mad because I have done it before and I know I CAN do it! If only events just settle down and give me a break! But every time I break my diet it makes my journey back that little bit longer and my hunger/willpower just that bit more difficult to control!

SofaJockey
SofaJockey35kg
in reply to CrimsonMama

It's worth looking again at the diary section for ways to reduce hunger. If you made your last target by force of willpower, there may be ways to tweak your diet to give you a bit of a break and make the process a little easier to do, and actually feel less like a 'diet' and simply a lifestyle adjustment. That also makes it easier to stay there when you get there. The exact formula you'll need to explore yourself so it suits you, but I know many swear by easing back on the sugar and the complex carbs (pasta, bread, potato, rice).

IndigoBlue61
IndigoBlue61Administrator

You are not alone CrimsonMama, this week in particular has been very stressful for most of us, and like many of us, I’m only just back on track after Christmas.

The important thing is to draw a line under it and start afresh. Go and read a few posts, and join in with a few chats and your motivation will return

Lastly, now more than ever, we all need to keep healthy and well so eating properly is extra important if we are to give ourselves the best chance with this horrid virus.

Best wishes

Indigo

CrimsonMama
CrimsonMama6 stone
in reply to IndigoBlue61

I've drawn a line and restarted so many times! This week I changed my weigh day to a Monday instead of Friday and I was doing brilliantly but then my daughter had her accident and had to go up A&E for half the night! Her sister and she got a day off school to recover but I had to go work feeling so tired that I just grabbed for the biscuits! Then next day had to take her back to the eye hospital for check up plus do shopping for my mum, all in the time after work, so too late and tired to cook so we had McDonalds. Today should have been better but reached for those biscuits again at work! Tomorrow I am at hospital with my mum after work as she is having a CT scan so another interrupted day/schedule so I'm like ... Is it even worth trying to stick to my diet? Or wait until Saturday? Or start a fresh Monday?? Aghhh!

just1me
just1me10 kg
in reply to CrimsonMama

Never give up. Keep trying. A few bad days are just a few bad days. Try to have a few good days, do not let yourself have more bad days before trying.

That said do not punish yourself either.

Try to be kind to yourself and try to find healthier go to foods for when you need comfort and feel really smug when you manage it. As you will rightly deserve to feel smug 😀

You have done this and you can do this. Hold on tight. You have us all right behind you.

Tiggerr
Tiggerr10 kg

Don't be ashamed CrimsonMama. You did so well and you will get there again. You've certainly had a litany of problems to deal with so no wonder you've found it difficult to stay focused.

I'm sure you know that the more you can be involved here, the more likely you are to stay strong and focused.

You can do this!

2bFabnfit
2bFabnfitMaintainer

Hi Crimson

Life happens. Don't beat yourself u you have owned it. First step! Well done.

Press reset. You know how to do this. You did it before, you can do it again.

Maintenance is harder than losing in my opinion. Which is why I still weigh in weekly. I need to keep accountable.

Go back to basics. Write down everything you eat. You can do this!

Cheering you on!

I totally agree maintenance is harder than losing. No shame in asking for help when the re-gain sets in - it's happened to a lot of us!

A lot of great advice on here. Oh dear, you are not the only one who has gone off the rails these weeks. The strain this bloody virus is putting us all under would drive most people to drink or excess of some kind. I live in a part of the world where I am confined to my home which is weird and restrictive and apocalyptic and fear inducing. We are waiting for the virus to hit hard and that leaves us all confronting our own mortality. And besides all this you have been through several wringers at once! How on earth are you coping?

I’m not surprised that you buckled under the strain. I did too and I didn’t have a fraction of your troubles. I too am struggling and ashamed as I haven’t been on here for nearly 2 weeks and have broken all my great new habits. Like you, I comfort eat and now I’ve gained weight I think (didn’t weigh in) and I have lost my impetus. But, we have to consider our health, remember that sweet feeling of success, reset our goals, start a food diary, get active on this site and start back however reluctantly and regretfully on that highway to success. Well, it’s more like a little overgrown path at the moment but you, CrimsonMama, know all too well that one success builds on another until eventually you have reached your goals and more besides. So, can we both try and pick ourselves up (though I admit to having virtually no willpower at this moment!)? You are never alone here no what what you have done! We are all struggling. No looking back! Good luck!

CrimsonMama
CrimsonMama6 stone
in reply to Lilaclady24

Very encouraging post thank you Lilaclady24! The uncertainty for the future, the economy and how many people are going to succumb to this virus makes it almost sound selfish to tell people I am trying to lose more weight (or get back to where I was). I am going to 'be good' or rather 'normal' from tomorrow then try my best to get my mindset right for Monday! Just praying nothing else throws me off course for at least one week!!

If I have to self isolate I don't know what I will do as I always find it harder to control my appetite when home all day!

meant to say about being at home, use tinterweb to your advantage. youtube has some really creative ideas for recipes and some proper fun exercise classes, at least I look really funny while attempting them!! good luck honey and hang in there

Craftyperson
Craftyperson1st 7lbs

No need to feel ashamed live does get in the way sometimes.

The fact you've come back on here shows you're ready to start again. Just draw a line under what happened and start again you know how to do it. Good luck

none of these things are excuses, they are all valid reasons for gaining. draw a line under them. go back to basics, the things that helped you achieve your goal will still be appropriate. if necessary just go one day, or even one hour, at a time. use your food diary to help you spot unhelpful patterns. above all else please be kind to yourself.

Wondered where you were! I'm not on that much but hadn't seen you around.

Rightio, you know what to do. All that's happened has happened, and given all that's been going on, I know I would - and lots of us would - have done exactly what you've been doing.

You're back here, owning the slip, talking again. The uncertainty of the coming times are enough to drive us all to comfort foods and the mental toll is enough to push us to convenience rather than nourishing meals. But the more "normal" we can keep some things, the better. Having one part of my day that's the same as it always has been is going to really help.

Until we're forced into a complete lockdown, exercise is still possible. Go for a walk with your children, national trust have opened up all their parks for free, if you're near a beach, it's going to be lovely. I'm going to miss my time alone, and I'm sure that "treats" will be consumed more than normal for us all.

Do what you can but don't beat yourself up for being human.

We love you.

CrimsonMama
CrimsonMama6 stone
in reply to Fatgirlslim19

Hiya! And right as usual! I've planned some tweaks to my usual routine. Like, no school run in the morning means I can go for my Tues and Thurs runs in the morning and then after work make the kids come dog walking with me to get them out the house and exercising!

I'm starting to look forward to it which is always a good start to a reset!! :)

Fatgirlslim19
Fatgirlslim191 stone
in reply to CrimsonMama

Brilliant! The panic is subsiding and you're making positive steps in your head already. You've got this 👍🏻

OilpainterUS
OilpainterUS2020 February

Such good advice and encouragement here, CM. We all know we have to find our own way and it may take a few journeys.

I read your profile (Crimson Tide fan here :) ) and saw you used 5:2.

As an intermittent faster, and loving the OMAD or 20:4, may I suggest trying these? If you can do 5:2, I think OMAD or 20:4 would be a snap.

Best wishes, you have a lot to deal with.

CrimsonMama
CrimsonMama6 stone
in reply to OilpainterUS

**quickly googles OMAD**

Ooh that sounds really interesting! Am I right... In that one meal you can have your whole allocated calories? That would be quite a challenge! For losing weight I am currently on 1500 cals a day. But wow! What a feast! And a total R&R TV and dinner fest! No interruptions! Sounds wonderful!

OilpainterUS
OilpainterUS2020 February

That's right, you eat your "allotment" at one time and fast the rest of the time. If I'm with family and friends, I may stretch my food out to 4 hours and fast 20 hours.

I highly recommend Dr.Jason Fung's book, The Obesity Code. He explains how hormones drive hunger and weight. Once you get your hormones under control, you can conquer your hunger and manage your weight.

This has worked for me for some time now. I have a variant amount of water that I gain and lose but am really close to a good weight. Dr. Fung has many YouTube videos explaining his theory. I loved the book, though, to fully understand the science.

You may find in his LCHF approach you will naturally eat less. I casually calorie count but rarely go over 1200 per day and it's not a struggle because these are good, nutritional calories. If I do eat more calories (birthday cake with others, for example) I just cut back the next couple of days.

As I said, if you can do 5:2, I am sure you can do this.

TheAwfulToad
TheAwfulToadAmbassador
in reply to OilpainterUS

I eat an absolutely enormous meal in the evening after my workout - I would guess around the 2000kCal mark - and very little during the day. That's not because I'm deliberately doing "OMAD" but simply because my LCHF lifestyle pushes me into that routine. I just don't feel compelled to eat very often.

Back when I ate my "healthy" low-fat high-carb diet, I can remember being absolutely starving by 11am despite having breakfast, and then absolutely starving again when I got home after work despite eating lunch (these days I rarely bother to eat lunch, and if I do it's a couple of crackers with butter and cheese).

The worst part of it was ... I thought that was normal. I'm so glad I found out what healthy eating is supposed to look like.

OilpainterUS
OilpainterUS2020 February
in reply to TheAwfulToad

Agree 100%! I had virtually the same experience.

Icandoit2019
Icandoit2019Healthy BMI

Hello you’re not alone and glad you came back! My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and I put on a whooping 8lbs in 2 weeks!! The celebrations went on far too long. Trying to get back on track.

Hopefully we both get to grips and have a better relationship with food and can stop the emotional eating when life throws you a curveball.

Sorry to hear how difficult your life has been lately. Hope it’s all behind you now .

Merlina21
Merlina212020 March

Don't feel ashamed or beat yourself up, as that will only exacerbate the problem, where it sounds to me like the root cause is emotional eating. I believe I have seen that there is info/support available from the NHS to help with this.

I have the same issue - my biggest vice being tea with sugar and biscuits, which of course adds to the calories and carbs. Having myself just decided to make a fresh start, one of my main strategies is going to be 'mindful eating' and finding other ways to manage stress - which is also being triggered for me right now in the face of this crisis and my own vulnerability.

Deep breathing from the belly is a major one, along with exercise that can release endorphins as well as helping to burn calories. And I know if I become more conscious and aware in the moments when I might turn to tea and biscuits for comfort, I can recognise that it's just a belief and association of ideas that this will really bring any comfort, whereas Camomile tea really does have a calming effect.

So that's what I would recommend - to try to find alternative ways to deal with stress and anxiety, including healthier choices of food and drink.

Icandoit2019
Icandoit2019Healthy BMI

Forgot to say look at your fantastic stats how can you say you’re ashamed!! How far you have come is amazing you lost so much weight, find you inspiring really x

Greycote
Greycote2020 March

Tom kerridge says in his book Don"t be Beaten by a Potato or in your case a chocolate egg every time i go back to old habits i think about that potato and so far it seems to work

Good luck and keep safe

OilpainterUS
OilpainterUS2020 February
in reply to Greycote

Eat a Carb-Crave a Crave!

BridgeGirl
BridgeGirlAdministrator
in reply to Greycote

Hello and welcome, Greycote :)

I like that: Don't be beaten by a potato :D

You'll find everything you need to join in the forum in our Pinned Posts healthunlocked.com/nhsweigh... and I recommend a weekly weigh in and the Daily Diary. You'll also find a Welcome message which explains how to find your way around.

Active participation really pays off so I hope we'll see you around :)

Greycote
Greycote2020 March

Thanks for the invitation it taken a trip to the stroke clinic to make me realise i was bearing my head in the sand struggling and ashamed are feelings i know very well. Your post has made me ralise that im not alone in this journey keep safe

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