Question hocd

[Pikedale221]

When I was 15 I had intrusive gay thoughts with gronial responses and anxiety. It happened again at 23 and now at 26... Each cycle was like 6-9 months... In between 15 23 and now if I watched a stupid video or someone said something stupid it might trigger me for a few days but other then that I felt like my normal self... I'm undiagnosed still trying to find someone that takes my insurance I have the support of my family and girlfriend... I was just curious if it's normal to go years feeling like yourself with no real issues

[deValentin]

Based on my experience, I believe it's normal for OCD to go into "dormancy" once in a while. It's like with substance-use disorder. You could be sober for a year or two, and then fall off the wagon. Why the similarities? In my opinion, OCD is like an addiction to immediate discomfort-relief.

If you're triggered and doubts about your social orientation pop into your mind, you could be tempted to ruminate about it and seek absolute certainty at the expense of your other activities. That will bring you short-term relief, but long-term dissatisfaction, which may be the start of a downward OCD spiral. It's more difficult to examine the issue objectively at an appropriate time and content yourself with good reasons to be certain one way or the other, and the appeasement of the mind takes longer. However, it's more lasting.

The fundamental question is, who is overall happier, the individual who seeks immediate discomfort-relief in spite of all common sense, or the one who can wait for a more sustainable peace of mind and tries to settle issues in a wiser manner?

[Pikedale221 in reply to deValentin]

With that being said we eventually go back to our "normal selves" before the episode? My memory sometimes gets a little distorted but I remember how happy I was in my life and I have this fear of being different then I was... But all the research and people I've talked to say the person you were before the episode and how you felt is still there and who you really are right now you're just going thru something but everything will come back how it was

[deValentin in reply to Pikedale221]

Yes, you do return to your normal self after an OCD episode, but we also evolve along the years. With new experiences, we feel and think differently about certain things. OCD teaches us that mental health, as physical health, shouldn't be taken for granted, but keeping it in good shape requires some of our attention within reason. It also takes time for our self-confidence to return after being shaken by a mental health crisis.

[Pikedale221]

Sometimes I question my personality or political views on things because of who I am and how I feel in my normal state of mind... Where everybody's told if you want to change or become more open-minded that happens in your normal state of mind the questions that are coming up now are OCD driven to scare you into thinking you won't be or don't want to me your true self again ...

[Pikedale221]

Your one of the very few strangers that helps me you answer my questions pretty directly and tell me this is just an episode and I'll feel the same as I did before this... Allot of people with my theme will say it's okay if your gay or bi and I truly never was before or after these episodes and they don't understand the fear of telling someone that