Just need some support

[lavender514]

Hello, it's my first post here. I'm reaching out as I feel really alone in battling this disorder and it feels very hopeless and scary sometimes.

I have had Relationship OCD for about a year now, although I had been struggling with other themes of OCD before that. I am in therapy, and am learning alot about the disorder and how to manage it. But I find it really, really difficult to put into practice all that I've learnt.

With my condition, I get these intrusive thoughts which are accompanied by these very distressing emotions regarding my relationship. They feel so overwhelming many times. It's so tough really and many times I just want to give up. I feel so afraid I will never get better and I feel so, so alone in dealing with this. I yearn to be held and supported and know that I am not alone

[pfnascimento]

OCD is difficult to manage in a short time. I'm sure you'll make progress soon! Thoughts are just that... thoughts. As for the emotions, it's the very thing with OCD, your thoughts are always wicked and awful and distressing and they make you feel all sorts of things. In my case for example, I felt so much disgust and fear that my thoughts were real and I was terrible. I'm guessing most people feel like this when they have intrusive thoughts.

I'm not sure what relationship you're talking about but remember, they want you as you are. And they love you. And the OCD just wants you to fear that and close yourself. Think of it as the bully mean person trying to make your life miserable because you got the hot quarterback. Or the popular girl, or whatever fits your relationship. Thing is, you are happy and OCD is a mean bi*** that wants you miserable. But bullies always lose in the end

[80_Zil_ian]

Hello, welcome to the forum. This is a safe space.

OCD is challenging at all stages of life, but the beginning can be particularly excruciating.

Allow me to focus on the loneliness part, that often accompanies OCD, try to view it as, although difficult, a form of defense against people or situations that might not understand and could potentially make things worse.

For instance, I experienced my worst crisis many many years ago, and at the time, I didn’t even know what I was dealing with. In my search for comfort (one of the hardest aspects of OCD is the constant need for reassurance and certainty), I unintentionally overburdened some people, especially close friends, with something they couldn’t understand. As a result, I lost almost all my friendships, either immediately or within a few months.

If I had understood this earlier, I would have embraced the loneliness more or learned not to share certain aspects of my struggles with others who might not have been able to help (not the case of this fórum, of course).

In your routine, if you can rely on a few trusted and supportive people, that’s ideal. But if not, the best approach is to focus on yourself and seek professional help.

[deValentin]

Welcome to the forum. You’re not alone in your dealings with OCD. Many of us find the struggle difficult at times, as you do. It’s why this forum is there to share our experiences and provide each other support. Let me share what made my struggle less difficult, if you don’t mind.

A part of us knows what’s the best way to live. It’s normal, for instance, to have questions about a relationship from time to time. That shows we care about it, we want to make it work, and we desire happiness. The problem is when questions become obsessive. Then they take all our time and at the same time fail to bring us closer to a resolution. If we were able to reasonably control our questioning, we would. However, we may find it too difficult to stop wondering about the value of a relationship, and we wrongly interpret that difficulty as a sign we don’t want to stop wondering about it.

How was I able to regain some control over my questioning? First, I accepted there is no perfect decision. Next, I decided to give myself a limited time to worry about something, whether it’s examining a relationship or contemplating a new career path. If I schedule a worry time, for instance 30 minutes in the evening, when the time is up, I can return to my normal activities, whether my worrying was conclusive or not. If I don’t schedule a worry time and I need to find a perfect solution to my worries before returning to my normal activities, I’ll never return to them. I’ll enter a rabbit hole, I’ll start spinning in a hamster wheel, I’ll enter an OCD bubble, etc. All good metaphors that illustrate the futility and repetitiveness of an OCD episode.

I wish you soon find your therapy more manageable.