I hate my OCD😭

[Monster2024]

OCD obession: I have androgens and Estrogen in my body, so I am not 100% woman. Thinking that I am not a 100% woman make me feel depressed.

How does my New OCD started?

About a month ago, I started paying attention on skin care, I look at the mirror a lot.

Then I noticed that I have a lot of moustache and body hairs(especially legs and arms). I just get curious why women have those. I started searching online. I read some information posted by some doctors such like:

Hairiness in women is due to high levels of androgen

Women are hairy because androgens are higher than estrogen

Then my OCD starts getting in, thoughts keep coming to my head, like I have androgens and Estrogen in my body, so I am not 100% woman. I feel depressed that I am not 100% woman, I can’t live a life thinking I am not a 100% woman. I feel unhappy, depressed, start eating less, not going out, not doing my work much, not take care of my skin much. Life gets stuck.

I feel miserable, I started talking to my psychiatrist again to get on medication which I stopped before.

I told my OCD obsession to my psychiatrist; he asked me to do sex hormones check in hospital to get over my OCD obsession. Clearly he doesn’t understand OCD well. The phrase“Sex hormone” trigged me, I tried my best to try to delete the phrase “sex hormones’.

and the OCD obsession contents I typed during our online conversion, because I feel anxious that I will live a life thinking I am not a 100% woman and feel depressed. But this conversion seem not able to delete.

I do not feel high anxiety, more like a bit anxious, worry, unhappy and depressed.

I tried to do ERP myself, but it doesn’t help me get better.

I tried to tell myself to accept the brain tells me that I am male and female all together in one body. I tried to write down those words that make me feel depressed, I tried to watch videos about human who are reported as male and female together in one body and watch medical videos about problem of High androgens in woman.,etc BUT I STILL FEEL DEPRESSED.

Medication I am taking: Fluvoxamine Maleate