I have a problem with my OCD I keep thinking about past trauma stuff and people's names in a loop constantly. I had a very good week last week, where I didn't think of anything and it was great I felt normal to a point.
Then last Friday-Tuesday today, I have not felt good! At the weekend I didn't keep myself busy or have anything to do, my work was slow so I started having the loop again and rethinking in the past. Since today I have still felt worse, earlier on I felt better about myself then it all dwindled down.
I constantly find it a battle keeping myself positive, so I have decided to have two glass jars with names on, 1 for positive thoughts and the second for negative thoughts. So every thought I think of will go in to one of those jars and then I will be able to see how many thoughts I have every day and how many of them are good and bad.
Last time I took a pill I had a seziure and it was a SSRI pill. Does anyone know if the Doctor can pescribe any pills that are not in a SSRI form? or any that I can order online?
Thanks for reading
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Surreylady
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14 Replies
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Miss Surreylady I can assure you that there is no pill to stop the repetition of the past. I have taken over 36 'can supply list for you ' I am 58 and the loop has been with me most my aware life. I've been doing therapy and am fighting an anxiety issue with not being able to address my past trauma which causes me to then feel depressed which causes me anxiety and guilt and shame. Having PTSD I am sorry to say that right now my flashbacks and repetitive thoughts and feelings are happening every 15 seconds of every day. Sometimes like a record. A continuous loop that never ends until I consume 150 mg trazodone at bedtime so that I can have dreams again and relax my mind. I have been in treatment with doctors since the 1983 when I was the one who noticed that I did not feel right. Please advise if I can help. My lovely wife princess has been through more of my wellness than anyone else and would offer her love and respect. Good luck
Do you mind if I ask you what kind of trauma have you been through that has caused PTSD? and what do you think about when you are in a loop?
I tried the sertaline drug and I had sezuires with it, so I have refused to take a pill after having fits with my driving. Apparently these pharamacutical drugs are not healthy to be on! the side affects were the worse I have ever been on!
Doctors are useless in the UK they just want to perscribe people drugs instead of getting to the root of the problem. A lot of my friends have a lot of anxiety and ocd problems where they don't try and get help to recover from what they have been through. I have recently changed Doctors and hoping to get some more CBT again.
Have you tried CBT? I find it does work, maybe you haven't found the right therapist to help you along the way?
You should stay positive still, I think you haven't had much success x
Please please be patient with me as I have so much to say about this to you but you need to give me a few hours I am extremely busy at the moment. Circles. Past trauma of all kinds bear with me please
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Miss Surreylady thanks. I have had electroconvulsive shock treatments to my brain for the constant negative and depressed mood from the PTSD. I am currently in erp therapy. My PTSD started as an undiagnosed misunderstood young boy. For some reason I was shunned by the family. My mom would say things like I could strangle you daily ' when I asked later why she hit me with objects she said her hands hurt. Basically I was a scapegoat. And a scapegoat who was truly terrified of what would happen next. Never good enough for others has caused me an intolerable amount of guilt and shame ad well as what I call ' THE PAIN ' Two traumatic brain injuries has also created issues. I was searched daily ' physically beaten and tortured until I ran away at age 18 being kicked and beaten the whole time until I escaped from that. That was so dark that I never want to see that ever again. Now I look outside every day and look for the animals. I have a dog and several cats on the farm that will love me unconditionally. Animals are more special than any doctor will ever do for you when I need help I will contact you. Thanks.
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Hi Winston - I had no idea. I am so sorry about your childhood. I had a bad childhood too, but nothing like yours. I am in the process of listening to a book by Joyce Meyer called Healing the Soul of a Woman. I'm toward the beginning of it, and so far it is very good. I know that you are a man, but the same principles would apply here. It is the story of how her own soul was healed.
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Miss sunne ' miss joyce meyer is the foremost leader in recovery from mental illness. I had forgotten about her and I will surely look her up. I lost my soul at age 18. 4 kids in a beetle with m and d screaming at each other all the way to church. When we got there every one would smile and talk nice to father Wolf expect me. I was confused. Then all the way home they would be at each other. At age 13 all I remember is looking out that small window and seeing the road pass by. I have never been able to process this behavior I was subject to.
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Hi Winston - I can sure see how you got confused. I was abused spiritually when I was a teenager, and am still having a hard time forgiving the abuser. It is something that I will have to learn to do in order to move on. I wish you the best. There are a lot of great resources for us today that weren't available years ago, so we can count our blessings there.
Sorry to hear about your abuse, I think everyone has different outcomes with OCD and with your experience with living with it has been the extreme and different to what I have been through and others.
I do find CBT can stop it if you give it a chance x
First off, I am sorry to hear you are having a bad time with your OCD. It makes sense to me that your symptoms worsened at a time where you were not mentally or physically stimulated. It is easy for OCD to creep back in when are mines are not occupied with other things. OCD is not a flat terrain. It is very hilly with lots of peaks and valleys. Right now, it sounds like you are in a bit of a valley and that is normal. If it was possible to remain positive all the time I think we would all choose positivity over fear and anxiety. I know how frustrating it can be when you go from a week or two of feeling good only to have the OCD flare up and attack. It is OK to not be positive all the time.
I would highly recommend that you do NOT track your positive and negative thoughts. This is a compulsion and when we perform compulsions we encourage OCD to enter our lives. What good will come out of tracking how many negative and positive thoughts you have? You will only drive yourself crazy. I would encourage you to live your life despite the way OCD makes you feel and not spend any time on pointless compulsions. I wish there was some magic pill that would cure us all of this disorder, but unfortunately there is no cure.
That being said, as far as medication goes I would advise you talk to your doctor about it. I have been on an SSRI for 10 years with no issue but I also take a Benzodiazepine as needed when I am having a difficult time. However, this is not the kind of medication that doctors will recommend for long term use. Benzodiazepine's are also used to treat epilepsy in some patients so maybe it would work for you but again PLEASE consult your doctor before you take anything and do NOT order anything offline -- that could be extremely dangerous. The only medication in those drug classes that you should take are those that are prescribed medications from your doctor.
I hope this is helpful for you and that you start to turn the corner soon. You were in a good spot before and I know you can get back to that place! Instead of dwelling on your thoughts some tips that my therapist taught me are singing along to songs, counting down from large numbers by 7, and trying to recite the alphabet backwards. Recovery is possible, it just takes time and hard work. Sending positive thoughts and prayers!
Hi there, we just wanted to let you know that the IOCDF does have information about medication for OCD that can be found online here: iocdf.org/about-ocd/ocd-tre.... Note that SSRIs are not the only medication options that are available. For example, a lot of people with OCD find help from clomipramine, which is considered to be a Tricyclic Antidepressant (TCA) and not an SSRI.
We would recommend you share this information with your psychiatrist/doctor to see what they think might work best for you!
I am working with a psychiatrist and she has placed me on D3, B vitimens, Probotic , melatonin, C vitimens, and an extremely small dose of escatilapram ( I am super sensitive to meds but we need to somehow get this anxiety down ).....I understand where you are coming from. I have been having the exact same thoughts for 6 months now and trust me, super frustrating and makes me want to scream .....infact I have many times in my head already
My thoughts are all about thinking , and my mind ...I am telling myself what my brain is doing .....tons of intrusives , and lots of negitives ...
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