This is my first time posting anything about my OCD. I am 25 now and self-diagnosed at around 17. My worst obsessions include or have included: fear of death and that nothing really matters, that I got my girlfriend pregnant, that my testicles do not work so I could not get my girlfriend pregnant, that I ran someone over with my car, that I forgot to do something at work, of contamination in general, that I have HIV, that I will infect others with HIV, or that I am a pedophile. My compulsions include: making sure items are not touching or are positioned "just right", hand washing, checking that doors are actually locked, checking roads where I have traveled or the news to make sure I did not run anyone over, getting tested for HIV (always negative of course), and worst of all mentally going over past scenarios and replaying them in my mind over and over, as well as trying to rationally argue my obsessions away as being ridiculous. My latest obsession that I am a pedophile or have molested a child in the past is the worst yet. Until I perform my mental compulsions for short-term relief, I feel that I am a horrible person unworthy of happiness or life. Anyone else experience OCD like this? Any advice in self-treatment or in seeing a therapist? I saw a therapist in college but it only provided short-term relief that went away after I stopped going (the sessions stopped being free after I graduated). The only thing that seems to get rid of an obsession is another one taking its place.
Need advice on controlling my OCD - My OCD Community
Need advice on controlling my OCD
The IOCDF has resources for help finding an ERP (exposure and response prevention) therapist. There are also great books, for example by Jon Grayson, about the therapy for OCD.
Another resource is cbtschool.com/
Hi Guy - Just about all the OCD themes you describe have all been written about on this forum. So, you are in the right place. You might find help for yourself by looking at some of the past postings of OCD members. There has been a lot written about these themes. There are a lot of books and resources on the internet. Most of us are on some type of medication, and a lot of people practice ERP. Welcome. I wish you the best of luck and hope that you find the right help, treatment, and medication (if needed) for yourself.
First off, you are not alone, and yes there are many people who experience the same symptoms you have shared, including believing that they are a pedophile and have molested and child.
OCD is a treatable mental illness and there are things that may be beneficial to you. One suggestion is to do some reading on OCD, and two books that I can suggest are Imp of the Mind by Lee Bear and Is Fred in the Refrigerator by Shala Nicely.
If you are able to go back to therapy at some point, make sure that you’re working with someone who is aware of OCD and intrusive negative thoughts. Even if that therapist knows about OCD ask them if they ever read Imp of the Mind and if they have not asked them if they would be willing to increase their understanding of OCD intrusive thoughts by reading the book.
There are also resources at iocdf.org, they have a youtube channel that you can find by searching iocdf stories. In addition there are several facebook resources. One I suggest is through the peace of mind foundation, called live with live with Liz. Search Facebook for peace of mind foundation and you’ll find this resource.
I hope these resources help, and again I want to remind you you were not alone.
Welcome!! You have OCD!! That’s all the reassurance I will give you 😊 I have had most themes of OCD and after years of the roller coaster of ocd, I finally got the proper diagnosis and treatment and am in recovery. It’s possible with books and seeing an OCD specialist that uses ERP. I also take Lexapro and will forever. It helps a lot, but you also need therapy. Prayers for you 🙏🤟🏻💪🏻
Thanks for the replies everyone! Hopefully all these resources will help me get this under control, I actually have a lot going for me right now in life and I don't want this to ruin it all.
You need ERP, Exposure Response Prevention. It is the gold standard for OCD. Taking an SSRI may help alleviate some of your intrusive thoughts. It is imperative that you start ERP ASAP. The sooner you get this under control the better the outcome will be. If you are in a city with a research university that might be the first place to call. You do not want "talk therapy" you need this specific type of Cognitive behavioral therapy. The if therapist is not experienced or trained to do ERP do not wait and hope they will learn it, you need a well versed ERP therapist. Good luck.
I can relate to a few of these obsessions. No worries, my friend. My adviceis to try letting the scary feeling be there in your body. Do not run from that feeling, do not distract yourself. Just do your best to do this every time that panicky feeling comes up. After a while, that energy will leave you and you will see the truth. You may still get relapses, but keep letting the feeling be felt, and over time all the relapses subside. Just try this approach for three or four days. You have nothing to lose.
Lessons learned from OCD
Hard to see myself in descriptions of OCD
