Hello! I'm new here, although I have had OCD for what I suspect to be a very long time. I saw an OCD specialist in 2019 who diagnosed me but I was unable to continue seeing her as it was too expensive. I have dealt with quite a few themes that all seemed to me to be the worst thing I could experience at the time. I am currently struggling with Real Event OCD mixed in with false memories and it has proven to be the most debilitating. I know that when treating OCD the content of the obsessions doesn't matter, but I am having a harder time practicing mindfulness with my Real Event obsessions than I had with my other obsessions. Probably because unlike with the past themes, this one has me feeling like I don't deserve to get better. I am trying to educate myself on mindfulness and OCD and ways that I can work to make sure this doesn't take complete control over my life. However, I am afraid that reading self-help books and articles about OCD will turn into a compulsion. Does anyone have any tips or know how I can educate myself without feeding the OCD? I'd be very thankful.
How can I educate myself on OCD & overcom... - My OCD Community
How can I educate myself on OCD & overcoming it without it becoming a compulsion?
Hello hopefulsunny,
It's so good that you're aware of what's going on with you and are mindful that anything can really become a compulsion.
Do you have a way to identify when a behavior is becoming compulsive?
For me, I notice that there is a feeling of urgency or anxiety that accompanies the urge. So, when I notice that I back off of the behavior and allow myself some space.
I think that would be helpful here. We all want to get better and it's common for things like therapy, self-help and ERP to become compulsive because we value them.
In my experience, it's more helpful to know when I'm getting a bit compulsive and just take a small break than it is to avoid help altogether.
I hope you find this of some use!
Alex
Thank you so much for your reply! I think my issue is that from what I have already researched I have an idea of behaviors that I should cut off and things I should practice to start retraining my brain. I know it is difficult to try ERP on your own and it isn’t really my plan to do it on my own, I just want to practice some other techniques like mindfulness and cutting off compulsions, things that really are up to the person. But I find that sometimes I do them wrong. For example, instead of redirecting my attention to what’s at hand I find that I do stuff to distract myself so I won’t engage with the thoughts, which can be a compulsion. I want to research further so that I can learn what my mistakes are and correct them, but I do find that doing so also calms me.
Hello, First I think it is good that you want to learn more about OCD so go ahead and research it. Second, give yourself a time limit to research and then just quit and wait for another day. I know myself; I can only read up on so much before my anxiousness sets in and my mind ranges from one corner to another. Hope this helps.
I think I will definitely try the time limit. Thank you so much!
I'm a big believer in learning as much as possible about OCD and various approaches to therapy. I have not found any one source that I think has all the help I need -- I get some ideas from some places and others from others. When I think I can't possibly find anything new that is useful, I encounter something that helps me see things from a new angle. All together it's helped me put together a strategy of managing OCD that works for me (at least a lot of the time...)
Like Alex said, I think we get into trouble when we start feeling like we have to research something, or we have to find something that tells us exactly what we want to hear. Also, we have to realize that just researching OCD and therapy doesn't help us get better. We have to apply what we learn, and for most of us that means resisting doing our compulsions through some form of ERP. That is where the brain really gets healed and we break our destructive thought habits.
My therapist once advised me that whenever I was afraid I was doing a compulsion, I could ask myself if the action was giving me any new information. (E.g., will checking the stove a 9th time tell me anything the first 8 times didn't tell me.) If the answer is no, it's probably a compulsion. So if you are learning new things and making progress because of your reading and research, they are probably still legitimate. When you start using them to try to feel less anxious, you may need to take a break.
Thank you! This has definitely given me some insight.
I found a website that was really helpful - it’s a self help cbt that’s free - however I was too eager and wanted to see what the next steps were in the program that I kept clicking ‘next’ and unfortunately you can’t go back so I had to abandon it - ocdchallenge.com
Hi hopefulsunny,
I'm sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. I've relied heavily on mindfulness to make peace with ocd. ERP is a very useful tool, however I've found it to be like a game of whack-a-mole at times. I started a blog years ago on using mindfulness to help with ocd. Here's a link to the blog. (ocd-hope.blogspot.com/)
If I can be of more help please let me know!
I wish you peace and happiness,
Josh
I'm trying really hard to practice mindfulness, but there's a part of me that is sort of resisting, if that makes sense. My anxiety is so powerful and the thoughts keep telling me that I don't get to treat this particular theme like my past themes. I feel like in order to incorporate mindfulness I first need to get over that hurdle of "I don't deserve to get better." Have you heard of something similar?
What you are saying makes sense to me. My OCD tells me that all the time. The OCD is saying that you don't deserve to get better - it could almost be categorized as a Compulsion, that you "don't deserve" to get better. You DO deserve to get better! OCD will do everything it can to scare you into not getting better. Perhaps some loving kindness mindfulness would be a good way to try mindfulness again. Here's a link to one of my favorite guided loving kindness meditations.
soundcloud.com/hachetteaudi...
Please reach out to me directly if I can help you!
I read these above and discover I have really gotten myself entangled without any idea. I've always gone to these sites when I'm feeling anxious and I think it's become a compilation. I do that a lot. Cos when I read them I get relief. But then it comes back
There can be a fine line between gathering information and it becoming a compulsion. In your case, it appears that you would be just trying to gather information and wanting the learn more about it. There is nothing wrong or compulsive about that. You just need to keep an eye on yourself that it does not become a compulsion. I hope I haven't scared you off.
I have discovered that the more I learn about OCD the better I feel about myself and the disorder I have, along with learning tips to help me with the different types of OCD that I have. With me, it varies alot in what type of OCD I'm having (when a blow up or trigger happens).
I also write here frequently that a HUGE thing that has helped me is watching the "Just Ethan" webinars that he has (I believe they are usually a Tuesday early evening). He is an advocate for OCD since he has it himself. If you catch the live one on Tuesdays, you can actually ask questions live and he tries to answer as many as he can within that hour. He also usually has 1-3 specialists on with him and the conversations are soooooo amazingly informative. Viewers are also leaving comments and questions that you do realize you are not alone. We all try to be very supportive of each other. Much of the time, someone will recommend a book to read. The books that are recommended are also a tremendous help.
I also have an OCD therapist. I know you mentioned that yours was too expensive, however you might look around and find one that offers services on a sliding scale, but please be sure to continue with specialists in OCD.... so important.
I do alot of ruminating in my head and have developed many tips that are working great for me. Mindfulness is one of them, however I have a bunch that I use depending on the trigger.
I hope others will post with some book ideas for you.
Thank you so much for your reply! I have thought a lot about therapy but often times I can only afford a couple of sessions. I am a college student and there aren't many resources on my campus for OCD and the supposed therapists through the school's insurance plan aren't on the iocdf.org website, which makes me reluctant to see one of them.
One thing to ask to see if they are qualified, ask them if they have been trained in OCD and if they do ERP. If they don't have any clue what ERP is, DON'T GO TO THEM!!! 
Hello hopefulsunny,
I understand your concern that learning about OCD could become a compulsion, but this book contains both descriptions of the illness and techniques to address it:
amazon.com/Brain-Lock-Twent...
Best regards
I feel like I'm obsessed with learning about OCD, but I don't think its a compulsion for me.
I made a course here on my recovery - perhaps that may help you? patreon.com/theanxietyspeci...
hi do erp it works and gets easier I found reading helpful to remind me what to do and what not to do,try brain lock it’s a good book,best wishes
Update!! 
SOMEONE HELP please reply i am SO SCARED ANYONE PLEASE
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